Some people think scientific research should focus on solving world health problems. Others think that there are more important issues. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
It is believed that scientific research should place emphasis on addressing global health issues; however, some opponents argue that there are more pressing problems. While it is true that the prime mission of research is to improve human health, there are more compelling reasons why studying other issues can also contribute to global well-being.
On the one hand, there are a few reasons why dealing with global health concerns should be given adequate attention. First of all, outbreaks of infectious diseases can threaten the lives of many people around the world. If scientists dedicate more time and effort to researching, the government can better prevent, detect and respond to such fatal diseases. Moreover, global health problems also affect international trading and the national economy. For example, in the case of COVID-19, many nations reached the brink of recession. Without urgent scientific research for its vaccines and medication, this pandemic may threaten the physical and financial well-being of millions of global citizens.
However, other environmental and economic problems should be prioritized because they are determinants of international health issues as well. In terms of the environment, many alarming issues such as global warming, pollution, and deforestation have led to severe weather, global famine, and the spread of various diseases. Therefore, using science to find the causes and solutions of such problems should be the top priority. In addition, economic issues such as poverty or inflation result in poor living conditions, lack of healthcare accessibility, and resources for healthcare advancements. Tackling these serious issues by intensive studies may act as a pre-emptive measure against health crises.
In conclusion, although it is reasonable to attach importance to health research, my conviction is that there are more critical environmental and economic issues which require scientific research.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify reference Original: some opponents Suggested revision: others Why it matters: “Others” directly mirrors the two groups in the task without implying organised opposition.
- 2. Improve precision Original: prime mission of research Suggested revision: primary purpose of scientific research Why it matters: This phrasing is more precise and maintains the scientific context.
- 3. Use precise verb Original: studying Suggested revision: researching Why it matters: “Researching” is the more precise verb for scientific investigation.
- 4. Improve collocation Original: adequate Suggested revision: sufficient Why it matters: “Sufficient attention” is a more natural collocation in this context.
- 5. Fix verb pattern Original: dedicate more time and effort to researching Suggested revision: devote more time and effort to research Why it matters: This revision gives “time and effort” a clear noun complement and avoids the awkward gerund phrase.
- 6. Use global plural Original: the government can better prevent Suggested revision: governments can better prevent Why it matters: The plural matches the essay’s worldwide context and avoids an unspecified singular government.
- 7. Use correct noun Original: trading Suggested revision: trade Why it matters: “International trade” is the standard noun phrase for cross-border commerce.
- 8. Fix research phrase Original: research for its vaccines and medication Suggested revision: research into vaccines and treatments Why it matters: Research is conducted “into” a subject, and the pandemic itself does not possess vaccines.
- 9. Clarify causal wording Original: determinants of international health issues Suggested revision: contributing factors in global health problems Why it matters: The revision expresses the causal relationship more naturally and precisely.
- 10. Improve method phrase Original: Tackling these serious issues by intensive studies Suggested revision: Addressing these serious issues through intensive research Why it matters: “Through intensive research” is the natural phrase for describing the proposed method.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: In addition, economic issues such as poverty or inflation result in poor living conditions, lack of healthcare accessibility, and resources for healthcare advancements. Suggested revision: In addition, economic issues such as poverty and inflation can lead to poor living conditions, limited access to healthcare, and insufficient resources for medical advances. Why it matters: The rewrite fixes the faulty list, which currently says economic problems result in healthcare resources.
Suggested Rewrites
- some opponents others
- prime mission of research primary purpose of scientific research
- studying researching
- adequate sufficient
- dedicate more time and effort to researching devote more time and effort to research
- the government can better prevent governments can better prevent
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay fully engages with both perspectives, sustains a clear preference, and develops each side through relevant health, environmental, and economic consequences. Its argument is logically sequenced and expressed with a strong range of complex language. The main limitation is occasional imprecision in collocation and causal phrasing, so the highest-priority improvement is to refine word choice and make a few claims more exact.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are directly addressed, the opinion is clear throughout, and the main ideas are extended with relevant explanations and an effective example.
Refine the economic argument by explaining more precisely how research into poverty or inflation would reduce health crises.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information and arguments progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used clearly and consistently.
Make transitions slightly less formulaic by relying more on the logical relationship between sentences than on introductory signposts.
Lexical Resource
A wide academic vocabulary conveys nuanced ideas effectively, though a few combinations such as 'research for its vaccines' and 'intensive studies' are imprecise.
Choose more natural research-related collocations and check that each abstract noun expresses the intended causal relationship.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses varied complex structures with strong control, while a small number of awkward constructions and agreement choices remain.
Polish clauses involving hypothetical outcomes, reference, and noun modification to make already complex sentences fully natural and exact.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think scientific research should focus on solving world health problems. Others think that there are more important issues. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.