Some people believe that scientists have the greatest influence on the world. Other people, however, think that the influence of politicians is greater. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
In today’s interconnected world, influence is key in shaping and reshaping the world. Many people consider politicians as those who have much sway over the general direction of society. But there are those who think scientists are the true driving force.
As the leaders of their respective nations, politicians influence the world by creating laws to govern their people. Such laws affect how their people act, how they live, and possibly even how they think. Furthermore, politicians also influence the nations around them as their actions may help countries or pull them down. That is why many pay attention to the rhetoric and actions of powerful leaders since these affect the policies of the world.
However, others believe scientists are more influential. This is primarily because the world is what it is because of what scientists have already created, seen for example in the way that people can circle the globe in less than a day and contact loved ones instantly because of high-tech devices. Another reason is that much of what the world will become depends upon the ongoing work of scientists. Issues like climate change, resource sustainability, and vaccines for pandemics can only be resolved by these scientists. So what they are doing now and what they will continue to do in the future will greatly affect the world.
Between the two, I believe that politicians have more influence. Although I acknowledge that scientific contributions have truly changed our way of life, politicians are still directly affecting people daily because of their policies. In fact, politicians often influence what scientists research as the government usually has a hand in many key research projects, especially those that may revolutionise how people live.
In conclusion, even if scientists are working toward solutions, politicians are still the ones directing which problems to solve and who should first benefit from the results. Therefore, the true power is in the politicians’ hands.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use direct contrast Original: But there are those Suggested revision: However, some people Why it matters: The revision creates a smoother formal contrast and identifies the group directly.
- 2. Use precise noun Original: how their people act Suggested revision: how citizens act Why it matters: Citizens is more precise and avoids repeating their people.
- 3. Use formal wording Original: help countries or pull them down Suggested revision: support or weaken other countries Why it matters: The revision replaces the vague phrasal wording with a clearer formal contrast.
- 4. Use formal example marker Original: Issues like climate change Suggested revision: Issues such as climate change Why it matters: Such as is the more formal phrase for introducing examples.
- 5. Clarify the comparison Original: Between the two Suggested revision: Of the two groups Why it matters: The revision explicitly identifies the two groups being compared.
- 6. Improve tense and phrasing Original: still directly affecting people daily Suggested revision: continue to affect people’s daily lives directly Why it matters: The simple construction expresses an ongoing general effect more naturally.
- 7. Use formal causal wording Original: as the government usually has a hand Suggested revision: because governments usually have a role Why it matters: The revision uses a formal expression and keeps the general reference to politicians plural.
- 8. Use accurate concession Original: even if scientists are working toward solutions Suggested revision: although scientists are working toward solutions Why it matters: Although presents an accepted contrast rather than a hypothetical condition.
- 9. State comparison formally Original: the true power is in the politicians’ hands Suggested revision: greater influence lies with politicians Why it matters: The revision states the comparison directly in a more academic register.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: In today’s interconnected world, influence is key in shaping and reshaping the world. Suggested revision: In today’s interconnected world, influence plays a key role in shaping society. Why it matters: The rewrite removes repetition of world and the redundant pairing of shaping with reshaping.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: Many people consider politicians as those who have much sway over the general direction of society. Suggested revision: Many people consider politicians to have considerable influence over the general direction of society. Why it matters: The rewrite corrects the consider construction and replaces the informal phrase much sway.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: This is primarily because the world is what it is because of what scientists have already created, seen for example in the way that people can circle the globe in less than a day and contact loved ones instantly because of high-tech devices. Suggested revision: This is primarily because scientists’ innovations have shaped modern life, enabling people to circle the globe in less than a day and contact loved ones instantly through high-tech devices. Why it matters: The rewrite removes repeated because clauses and integrates the examples into a clearer sentence.
Suggested Rewrites
- But there are those However, some people
- how their people act how citizens act
- help countries or pull them down support or weaken other countries
- Issues like climate change Issues such as climate change
- Between the two Of the two groups
- still directly affecting people daily continue to affect people’s daily lives directly
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its clear position and effective comparison of how scientists and politicians influence society, with the final argument linking political power to research priorities. Its main limitation is that several claims, especially in the politicians paragraph, remain broad or somewhat repetitive. The highest-priority improvement is to develop those claims with a more specific example and tighter, less repetitive wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are discussed directly, and the writer's preference is clear, relevant, and supported throughout.
Strengthen the politicians discussion with a concrete example showing the international effect of a policy decision.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear progression from the two views to a reasoned personal judgement and conclusion.
Tighten progression within the politicians paragraph by replacing broad claims with one clearly developed example.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is varied and effective, though repeated forms of “influence” and a few broad expressions reduce precision.
Use more precise alternatives for political power and global effects while avoiding unnecessary repetition of key task language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are frequent and generally accurate, with only occasional awkward constructions that do not impede meaning.
Refine structures such as “consider politicians as those” and simplify overextended clauses for more natural control.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that scientists have the greatest influence on the world. Other people, however, think that the influence of politicians is greater. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.