These days, many people use the Internet to search for solutions to their medical problems. Why is it so? Is it a positive or a negative development?
Sample Response
A large number of individuals nowadays surf the Internet to find remedies for their health issues. Convenience, accessibility, and privacy are the main reasons for this, and I believe this is a negative development because it can create anxiety and lead to misdiagnosis.
The convenience and accessibility have caused many people to go on the internet to find information about their health conditions. The Internet offers easy access to a wealth of health-related information from the comfort of one’s home. With just a few clicks, for example, individuals get access to a plethora of medical resources, including medical journals, medical blogs and medical websites. Another compelling reason for this trend is privacy and anonymity. Many people prefer searching for information online due to maintaining privacy and anonymity. They feel more comfortable researching sensitive health conditions on the Internet without the fear of stigma or judgment. This is particularly true for a person dealing with mental health concerns that is considered a social taboo.
However, the excessive searching of health-related topics online may prove to be dangerous for individuals. The Internet is filled with an extensive range of health-related information, although not all of it is reliable or accurate. Many individuals neither verify the source to ensure accuracy nor do they conduct any checks to ensure that the information they found is reliable. Consequently, exposure to misinformation may cause acute anxiety and panic, and this can change the behavioural patterns of individuals. Cyberchondria is a case in point. It is a disorder in which people fear that they are severely ill, which is caused by reading about illness online. Moreover, not all information found on the internet is reliable and authentic. Therefore relying on the information found on the Internet for self-diagnosis can be dangerous and fatal.
In conclusion, although the Internet has revolutionized access to health-related information, providing convenience and privacy, I believe this is a negative development because health-related online searches can lead to sheer panic, causing behavioural changes and misdiagnosis.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove unnecessary article Original: The convenience and accessibility Suggested revision: Convenience and accessibility Why it matters: The definite article is inappropriate when these abstract nouns are used generally.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: go on the internet Suggested revision: go online Why it matters: This is a more natural expression for accessing online information.
- 3. Improve verb choice Original: get Suggested revision: gain Why it matters: The verb “gain” forms a more precise academic collocation with “access.”
- 4. Express purpose correctly Original: due to maintaining Suggested revision: to maintain Why it matters: An infinitive is needed to express the purpose of searching online.
- 5. Use idiomatic expression Original: without the fear Suggested revision: without fear Why it matters: The uncountable noun is more idiomatic without an article in this expression.
- 6. Correct preposition Original: the excessive searching of Suggested revision: excessive searching for Why it matters: The verb-derived noun “searching” takes “for” before the object sought.
- 7. Tighten word choice Original: filled with an extensive range Suggested revision: contains a wide range Why it matters: This replacement expresses the same idea more directly and naturally.
- 8. Keep structure parallel Original: neither verify the source to ensure accuracy nor do they conduct any checks Suggested revision: neither verify the source for accuracy nor conduct any checks Why it matters: The two coordinated verbs should use parallel forms after “neither” and “nor.”
- 9. Maintain present tense Original: found Suggested revision: find Why it matters: The present tense matches the paragraph’s general statements about habitual behaviour.
- 10. Make wording concise Original: behavioural patterns of individuals Suggested revision: individuals’ behaviour Why it matters: The possessive construction conveys the intended meaning more directly.
- 11. Avoid overstatement Original: dangerous and fatal Suggested revision: dangerous and potentially fatal Why it matters: Adding “potentially” makes the claim appropriately qualified without changing its direction.
- 12. Use formal wording Original: surf Suggested revision: use Why it matters: “Use” is more neutral and appropriate for a formal academic response.
Suggested Rewrites
- The convenience and accessibility Convenience and accessibility
- go on the internet go online
- get gain
- due to maintaining to maintain
- without the fear without fear
- the excessive searching of excessive searching for
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear position and develops relevant reasons and consequences with strong control of structure and vocabulary. Its main limitation is repetition, especially around the unreliability of online information, alongside a few awkward grammatical and collocational choices. The highest-priority improvement is to make each supporting point distinct and precise, particularly by explaining the pathway from unreliable advice to misdiagnosis rather than restating the same danger.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers both questions clearly and develops relevant reasons and negative consequences with suitable explanation and an example.
Develop misdiagnosis as a distinct consequence instead of repeating the broader point that online information may be unreliable.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, focused body paragraphs, and a consistent conclusion, although some content is repeated.
Reduce repeated claims about unreliable information and use each sentence to advance the argument with a new link or consequence.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently wide vocabulary supports precise discussion of healthcare information, privacy, anxiety, and self-diagnosis, despite several awkward collocations.
Replace unnatural combinations such as “due to maintaining privacy” with more idiomatic phrasing and avoid overstated wording such as “dangerous and fatal.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex structures is used with generally good control, and the occasional agreement or clause error does not impede meaning.
Check agreement and relative-clause reference carefully, especially in sentences where singular people, conditions, and social attitudes are combined.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
These days, many people use the Internet to search for solutions to their medical problems. Why is it so? Is it a positive or a negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.