Fewer and fewer people want to become teachers especially in secondary schools. Why this happening and what can be done to tackle this problem?
Sample Response
Education is the fundamental building block of a society. Nowadays people are not interested to become educators, especially in high schools. This essay will highlight the principal causes and the solutions to resolve them.
First and foremost, a lack of interest in becoming teachers in the present day is due to the low income of a teacher. Teachers are being paid much lesser, especially in public schools as compared to other jobs in the private sector. For example, an adult who works as a pharmacist in a private hospital can earn twice as much as a secondary school teacher. This demotivates the public from pursuing a career in the education field. Furthermore, another problem is that teenagers are very difficult to deal with, and students in secondary schools tend to disobey teachers’ orders.
However, we can take several measures to solve these issues. One practical solution to this problem is that the government can increase the wage of educators. By increasing the salary of educators, people are more likely to work as teachers. In other words, a person who is passionate about teaching will be motivated to work harder and contribute to the community. Moreover, the government can offer scholarships to students to further their studies as teachers. As a result, people with financial problems can afford to pursue higher education and become successful teachers.
In conclusion, although fewer people want to become educators in today’s world, such a challenge can be solved with proper planning. The government plays an important role to encourage the public to become educators.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add introductory comma Original: Nowadays people Suggested revision: Nowadays, people Why it matters: A comma should follow the introductory adverb nowadays.
- 2. Correct verb pattern Original: interested to become Suggested revision: interested in becoming Why it matters: Interested is followed by in and a gerund in this construction.
- 3. Remove redundant wording Original: the solutions to resolve them Suggested revision: possible solutions Why it matters: Solutions already implies resolving problems, and them has an unclear reference here.
- 4. Make wording concise Original: a lack of interest in becoming teachers in the present day Suggested revision: the current lack of interest in becoming teachers Why it matters: The revision conveys the time reference more concisely.
- 5. Use simple present Original: are being paid Suggested revision: are paid Why it matters: The simple present better describes a general employment condition.
- 6. Correct comparative form Original: lesser Suggested revision: less Why it matters: Less, not lesser, is the correct comparative for an amount of pay.
- 7. Compare like with like Original: as compared to other jobs in the private sector Suggested revision: than workers in private-sector jobs Why it matters: This revision compares teachers with workers rather than comparing their pay with jobs.
- 8. Remove unnecessary wording Original: an adult who works as a pharmacist Suggested revision: a pharmacist Why it matters: The occupation already identifies the adult worker, so the longer phrase is redundant.
- 9. Use natural collocation Original: demotivates the public Suggested revision: discourages people Why it matters: Discourages people from pursuing a career is the natural expression in this context.
- 10. Use precise term Original: education field Suggested revision: teaching profession Why it matters: Teaching profession refers more precisely to the career being discussed.
- 11. Remove redundant addition Original: Furthermore, another problem Suggested revision: Another problem Why it matters: Furthermore and another both signal addition, so using both is repetitive.
- 12. Use concise wording Original: very difficult to deal with Suggested revision: difficult to manage Why it matters: This is a more concise and formal way to express the same difficulty.
Suggested Rewrites
- Nowadays people Nowadays, people
- interested to become interested in becoming
- the solutions to resolve them possible solutions
- a lack of interest in becoming teachers in the present day the current lack of interest in becoming teachers
- are being paid are paid
- lesser less
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is well organised and gives a clear, relevant explanation of low pay together with practical salary and scholarship solutions. Its main limitation is uneven development: difficult student behaviour is introduced without explanation or a corresponding remedy, while several language and collocation errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each identified cause fully and pair it with a directly targeted solution, using more natural verb patterns and comparisons.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered with relevant ideas, but the discussion is uneven because student behaviour is barely developed and the scholarship proposal does not directly address an identified cause.
Explain every cause in comparable depth and connect each proposed measure to the specific problem it is intended to solve.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has clear paragraphing and logical overall progression, although some linking phrases are formulaic or slightly imprecise.
Use transitions that express the exact relationship between ideas and rely less on stock sequencing phrases.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary range is adequate for the topic, but recurring collocational problems such as interested to become and much lesser weaken precision.
Learn natural word partnerships for employment and education, especially verb patterns, salary comparisons, and government action.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument clearly, though errors with articles, comparisons, and infinitive patterns recur.
Proofread verb complementation and comparative forms, then revise sentences such as plays an important role to encourage for accurate structure.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Fewer and fewer people want to become teachers especially in secondary schools. Why this happening and what can be done to tackle this problem?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.