These days, in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this? How could more people be encouraged to come into the teaching profession?

Same questionCompare 2 different answers (Band 6.5–7.5)

Sample Response

1

Recently, in many countries, there has been a steady decline in the number of people willing to become teachers, especially in secondary schools. This essay will look at the reasons for this declinedownfall and propose some solutions.

2

One of the main problems contributing to the lack of interest in pursuing a career in teaching is lowlower remuneration. In other words, salaries earned by teachers are lower thanlower compared to other professions. For example, a school teacher in Bangladesh earns a salary of 10,000 taka per month compared to other professions where the salary is at least 25,000 taka. Raising the salaries for teachersminimum wage for teachers will significantly encourage people to take up teaching as a profession.

3

Another cause that magnifies the problem is the challenging behaviourdifficult behaviours exhibited by secondary school studentssecondary-level students. That is to say, adolescents these daysadolescents, these days behave disrespectfullyindecently by showing disrespectfulbrash attitudes towards teachers. Such misbehaviour and misdemeanours do little to motivate a teacher to continue teaching in a high schoolpursue the profession in a high school. According to Psychology Today, 60 per cent of teachers feel indignant and dejected while teaching high school students. Which causes current teachers to quit and un-appeals prospective teachers. Rectifying student behaviourbehaviours will encourage more peopleemployees to pursue the teaching profession.

4

The final cause is the amount is workload; both during and outside school hourson and off school hours. To elaborate, teachers often have to sacrifice their personal time to check student copies and exam papersstudent copies, and exam papers at home. Doing so does not allow a teacher to rest and recover from stress, which is hazardous to both the psychological and physical well-being of the teacher. An ideal solution to curb this effectkerb such an effect is to improveimprovise work-life balance by the relevantrespective school authorities. This will attract more people to this profession.

5

In conclusion, we need excellent teachers to build a better nation as their contribution as teachers is unparalleled. So we need to solve problems that deter talented and motivated individuals from becoming teachersdeter talented and motivated individuals to become teachers, especially in high schools.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts directly and is strongest in its clear cause-and-solution structure, with each body paragraph focused on a distinct obstacle to entering teaching. Its main weakness is imprecise language, including several unsuitable word choices and sentence-level errors that occasionally make otherwise sensible points awkward. The highest priority is to revise collocations and sentence boundaries so the well-organised ideas are expressed more naturally and accurately.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

7.0
Scoring rule

Both questions are answered through three relevant causes paired with practical solutions, though some solutions could be explained in greater depth.

Next step

Show more precisely how each proposed measure would be implemented and why it would attract prospective secondary-school teachers.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Scoring rule

Ideas progress logically through focused body paragraphs, and the cause-and-solution pairing makes the response easy to follow despite one sentence fragment.

Next step

Strengthen cohesion by attaching dependent clauses to their main sentences and making the conclusion summarise the proposed solutions more specifically.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Scoring rule

The response demonstrates a good topical range, but several inaccurate collocations and word choices make parts of the argument sound unnatural.

Next step

Check unfamiliar vocabulary in context and replace phrases such as un-appeals and improvise work-life balance with precise, established collocations.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0
Scoring rule

A range of complex structures is used and meaning remains clear, although recurring errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, and phrasing limit accuracy.

Next step

Focus revision on eliminating fragments and checking the grammatical structure of each complex sentence before adding further detail.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

These days, in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this? How could more people be encouraged to come into the teaching profession?

Your response

Words0
40:00

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