These days, in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this? How could more people be encouraged to come into the teaching profession?
Sample Response
Recently, in many countries, there has been a steady decline in the number of people willing to become teachers, especially in secondary schools. This essay will look at the reasons for this downfall and propose some solutions.
One of the main problems contributing to the lack of interest in pursuing a career in teaching is lower remuneration. In other words, salaries earned by teachers are lower compared to other professions. For example, a school teacher in Bangladesh earns a salary of 10,000 taka per month compared to other professions where the salary is at least 25,000 taka. Raising the minimum wage for teachers will significantly encourage people to take up teaching as a profession.
Another cause that magnifies the problem is the difficult behaviours exhibited by secondary-level students. That is to say, adolescents, these days behave indecently by showing brash attitudes towards teachers. Such misbehaviour and misdemeanours do little to motivate a teacher to pursue the profession in a high school. According to Psychology Today, 60 per cent of teachers feel indignant and dejected while teaching high school students. Which causes current teachers to quit and un-appeals prospective teachers. Rectifying student behaviours will encourage more employees to pursue the teaching profession.
The final cause is the amount is workload; both on and off school hours. To elaborate, teachers often have to sacrifice their personal time to check student copies, and exam papers at home. Doing so does not allow a teacher to rest and recover from stress, which is hazardous to both the psychological and physical well-being of the teacher. An ideal solution to kerb such an effect is to improvise work-life balance by the respective school authorities. This will attract more people to this profession.
In conclusion, we need excellent teachers to build a better nation as their contribution as teachers is unparalleled. So we need to solve problems that deter talented and motivated individuals to become teachers, especially in high schools.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise noun Original: this downfall Suggested revision: this decline Why it matters: Downfall usually describes ruin or a loss of power, not a numerical decrease.
- 2. Use correct comparison Original: lower remuneration Suggested revision: low remuneration Why it matters: Lower requires an explicit comparison, while low describes the salary level itself.
- 3. Fix comparison form Original: lower compared to Suggested revision: lower than Why it matters: The comparative adjective lower takes than in this construction.
- 4. Match the stated issue Original: minimum wage for teachers Suggested revision: salaries for teachers Why it matters: The paragraph discusses overall teacher pay rather than a legally defined minimum wage.
- 5. Use natural phrasing Original: difficult behaviours Suggested revision: challenging behaviour Why it matters: Behaviour is normally uncountable when referring generally to how students act.
- 6. Use standard term Original: secondary-level students Suggested revision: secondary school students Why it matters: Secondary school students is the conventional term in this context.
- 7. Remove misplaced comma Original: adolescents, these days Suggested revision: adolescents these days Why it matters: A comma should not separate the subject from this time expression.
- 8. Choose precise adverb Original: behave indecently Suggested revision: behave disrespectfully Why it matters: Disrespectfully directly describes the attitude towards teachers stated in the sentence.
- 9. Use natural collocation Original: brash attitudes Suggested revision: disrespectful attitudes Why it matters: Disrespectful attitudes is a clearer collocation for conduct directed at teachers.
- 10. Clarify intended action Original: pursue the profession in a high school Suggested revision: continue teaching in a high school Why it matters: Pursue suggests entering a career, while the sentence refers to an existing teacher remaining in it.
- 11. Use uncountable noun Original: student behaviours Suggested revision: student behaviour Why it matters: Behaviour is normally uncountable when referring to student conduct collectively.
- 12. Name the right group Original: more employees Suggested revision: more people Why it matters: Prospective teachers are not yet employees, so the noun is inaccurate.
Suggested Rewrites
- this downfall this decline
- lower remuneration low remuneration
- lower compared to lower than
- minimum wage for teachers salaries for teachers
- difficult behaviours challenging behaviour
- secondary-level students secondary school students
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response addresses both parts directly and is strongest in its clear cause-and-solution structure, with each body paragraph focused on a distinct obstacle to entering teaching. Its main weakness is imprecise language, including several unsuitable word choices and sentence-level errors that occasionally make otherwise sensible points awkward. The highest priority is to revise collocations and sentence boundaries so the well-organised ideas are expressed more naturally and accurately.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both questions are answered through three relevant causes paired with practical solutions, though some solutions could be explained in greater depth.
Show more precisely how each proposed measure would be implemented and why it would attract prospective secondary-school teachers.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through focused body paragraphs, and the cause-and-solution pairing makes the response easy to follow despite one sentence fragment.
Strengthen cohesion by attaching dependent clauses to their main sentences and making the conclusion summarise the proposed solutions more specifically.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates a good topical range, but several inaccurate collocations and word choices make parts of the argument sound unnatural.
Check unfamiliar vocabulary in context and replace phrases such as un-appeals and improvise work-life balance with precise, established collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is used and meaning remains clear, although recurring errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, and phrasing limit accuracy.
Focus revision on eliminating fragments and checking the grammatical structure of each complex sentence before adding further detail.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
These days, in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this? How could more people be encouraged to come into the teaching profession?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.