Some people prefer to work for themselves or own a business. Others prefer to work for an employer. Would you rather be self-employed, work for someone else, or own a business? Use specific reasons to explain your choice.
Sample Response
Several people choose to be self-employed rather than becoming a professional employee, while others decide to be a professional or an entrepreneur. Each of the choices has its own positive and negative things, but in my personal opinion, I prefer to be an employee, since it has the lowest risk.
To begin with, some people have decided to be self-employed. They prefer to do that because they do not like to be regulated by any procedures, or being governed by under companies' regulation. Examples of the self-employed jobs are professional actors, athletes, freelancers, or other kinds of art performers. While others prefer to be an entrepreneur because they feel that by opening a new business, it brings a lot benefits for themselves and societies. Should the new business run smooth and in accordance with the business plan, the owner should get a lot of profits. And then, it will create job opportunities for the communities as well. However, these two choices have their own weaknesses. As a self-employed person, there is no guarantee that they will get a sustainable income, as they are paid in accordance with their performances. While as a business owner, it is obvious that there are a lot of risks for them such as the risk of bad debt, foreign exchange fluctuation and bankruptcy.
On the other hand, some people dislike being a professional worker. They feel that they have limited and restricted time, and sometimes the workload is also unreasonable. However, many people do not realise that becoming an employee has the lowest risk ever. They will have steady income through their monthly salaries, despite that their companies might be performing poorly. And then they would have additional benefits from the company such as medical allowance, annual leaves and company cars as well. Lastly, companies are also paying the retirement fund for their employees as well. Therefore, the advantages of being an employee outweighed the disadvantages.
In conclusion, it is a fact that people have different options about work. Some people choose to open their own business, while others prefer to be self-employed or work in an organisation. After measuring the benefits and drawbacks, I personally prefer to be a professional employee, since it has the lowest risk.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural job term Original: becoming a professional employee Suggested revision: becoming an employee Why it matters: “Employee” already conveys professional employment, so the modifier is unnecessary.
- 2. Name the role clearly Original: a professional or an entrepreneur Suggested revision: an employee or an entrepreneur Why it matters: “A professional” is too vague here and does not clearly contrast employment with entrepreneurship.
- 3. Use precise contrast Original: positive and negative things Suggested revision: advantages and disadvantages Why it matters: This formal pair expresses the intended contrast more precisely.
- 4. Remove redundancy Original: in my personal opinion Suggested revision: in my opinion Why it matters: “Personal” is redundant because an opinion is inherently personal.
- 5. Clarify the meaning Original: regulated by any procedures Suggested revision: required to follow any procedures Why it matters: People follow procedures rather than being regulated by them.
- 6. Use natural category Original: other kinds of art performers Suggested revision: other kinds of performers Why it matters: “Art performers” is not a natural occupational category in this context.
- 7. Use an adverb Original: smooth Suggested revision: smoothly Why it matters: The verb “run” needs the adverb “smoothly” to describe how the business operates.
- 8. Use business collocation Original: the owner should get a lot of profits Suggested revision: the owner could make substantial profits Why it matters: Businesses “make profits,” and “could” appropriately expresses a possible outcome.
- 9. Remove loose linker Original: And then, it will create Suggested revision: It will also create Why it matters: “Also” links this additional benefit more directly than the conversational sequence marker.
- 10. Use natural reference Original: communities Suggested revision: community Why it matters: The singular collective noun is more natural for the general social group meant here.
- 11. Clarify payment basis Original: in accordance with their performances Suggested revision: according to their performance Why it matters: The singular mass noun “performance” is the natural form when referring generally to work results.
- 12. Remove unclear redundancy Original: limited and restricted time Suggested revision: limited free time Why it matters: “Limited” and “restricted” duplicate each other, while “free time” states what employees lack.
Suggested Rewrites
- becoming a professional employee becoming an employee
- a professional or an entrepreneur an employee or an entrepreneur
- positive and negative things advantages and disadvantages
- in my personal opinion in my opinion
- regulated by any procedures required to follow any procedures
- other kinds of art performers other kinds of performers
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response has a clear, consistent preference for employment and supports it with a useful comparison of income stability, benefits, and the risks attached to the alternatives. Its main limitation is uneven language control, with awkward collocations, sentence fragments, and recurring agreement or form errors. The highest-priority improvement is to express the same well-organised ideas through complete sentences and more natural workplace vocabulary.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response answers the choice directly, maintains a clear preference, and supports it with several relevant comparative reasons.
Develop the central risk argument more precisely by explaining how particular employment protections compare with the uncertainties of each alternative.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a clear four-paragraph progression, although repetitive linking and several sentence fragments weaken the flow.
Integrate contrast clauses into complete sentences and replace repeated connectors such as "And then" and "While" with more natural transitions.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of work-related vocabulary, but inaccurate collocations and word choices recur.
Prioritise natural combinations such as "advantages and disadvantages," "company regulations," and "stable income" when discussing employment.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument clearly, but fragments, agreement errors, and faulty forms occur regularly.
Check that every contrast clause has a main clause and proofread subject-verb agreement, articles, and singular-plural forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people prefer to work for themselves or own a business. Others prefer to work for an employer. Would you rather be self-employed, work for someone else, or own a business? Use specific reasons to explain your choice.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.