Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
Sample Response
In recent years, there has been a noticeable trend towards self-employment, with many individuals choosing to work for themselves rather than for a company or organisation. There are several reasons why this may be the case, and there are also a number of potential disadvantages to being self-employed.
One reason why more and more people are opting for self-employment is the desire for greater autonomy and control over their work. Working for oneself allows for more flexibility and the ability to pursue one's own goals and projects, rather than those of a larger organisation. For instance, freelancers may prefer to work from home and set their own hours, allowing them to balance their work with other commitments, such as family or personal interests. Self-employment also offers the potential for greater financial rewards, as profits are not shared with an employer.
However, being self-employed also comes with its own set of challenges. One of the main disadvantages is the lack of job security and benefits such as health insurance and paid time off. Self-employed individuals are also responsible for all aspects of their work, from accounting to marketing to customer service, which can be overwhelming and time-consuming. Additionally, there may be less opportunity for career advancement or professional development compared to working for a company with established training programmes and career paths.
In fine, despite these potential drawbacks, the trend towards self-employment is likely to continue as technology and the gig economy create more opportunities for independent work. Governments and policymakers can help mitigate some of the risks and disadvantages of self-employment by offering support such as access to healthcare, retirement savings plans, and training programmes.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use formal phrasing Original: more and more people Suggested revision: an increasing number of people Why it matters: This replacement expresses the trend more concisely and formally.
- 2. Tighten the phrase Original: allows for more flexibility Suggested revision: provides greater flexibility Why it matters: The replacement is more concise and natural in formal writing.
- 3. Clarify the reference Original: those of a larger organisation Suggested revision: a larger organisation's priorities Why it matters: Naming the priorities removes the slightly unclear pronoun reference.
- 4. Use precise categories Original: family or personal interests Suggested revision: family responsibilities or personal interests Why it matters: Adding "responsibilities" makes the two examples more precise and parallel.
- 5. State the idea directly Original: as profits are not shared with an employer Suggested revision: because the individual retains the profits Why it matters: This wording states the proposed source of the financial benefit more directly.
- 6. Reduce wordiness Original: comes with its own set of challenges Suggested revision: presents distinct challenges Why it matters: The replacement conveys the same idea with fewer words.
- 7. Clarify the coordination Original: the lack of job security and benefits such as health insurance and paid time off Suggested revision: a lack of job security and employer-provided benefits, such as health insurance and paid time off Why it matters: This revision makes clear that the listed examples are employment benefits and improves the coordination.
- 8. Streamline the list Original: from accounting to marketing to customer service Suggested revision: including accounting, marketing and customer service Why it matters: The revised list is more concise and avoids repeating "to".
- 9. Remove redundancy Original: risks and disadvantages Suggested revision: disadvantages Why it matters: The two nouns overlap in meaning here, so one is sufficient.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: There are several reasons why this may be the case, and there are also a number of potential disadvantages to being self-employed. Suggested revision: Several factors explain this shift, although self-employment also has potential disadvantages. Why it matters: The rewrite removes repetitive existential phrasing and links the two parts more directly.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: Additionally, there may be less opportunity for career advancement or professional development compared to working for a company with established training programmes and career paths. Suggested revision: Additionally, self-employed people may have fewer opportunities for career advancement or professional development than employees in companies with established training programmes and career paths. Why it matters: The rewrite corrects the faulty comparison between opportunities and the act of working for a company.
Suggested Rewrites
- more and more people an increasing number of people
- allows for more flexibility provides greater flexibility
- those of a larger organisation a larger organisation's priorities
- family or personal interests family responsibilities or personal interests
- as profits are not shared with an employer because the individual retains the profits
- comes with its own set of challenges presents distinct challenges
Why this response received Band 8.0
This is a well-developed response that answers both parts directly, with relevant explanations and examples and consistently clear, controlled language. Its main limitation is that the conclusion shifts towards predicting future trends and proposing government support rather than tightly synthesising the reasons and disadvantages discussed; prioritise a more task-focused final synthesis and replace the non-idiomatic closing phrase to sharpen precision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both questions are fully addressed through clearly developed reasons and disadvantages supported by relevant examples.
Make the conclusion more directly synthesise the reasons and disadvantages already discussed instead of introducing policy responses.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used naturally and effectively.
Use a more conventional concluding transition so the final paragraph connects seamlessly with the preceding discussion.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, with only a rare awkward phrase such as “In fine”.
Replace the non-idiomatic “In fine” with a natural alternative such as “Overall” or “In conclusion”.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, and sentences remain consistently clear and fluent.
Continue refining punctuation and clause balance in longer sentences to preserve this high level of control.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.