People in senior positions should be compensated with significantly higher salaries than people in lower positions in the same company. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Give your own opinion and include relevant examples.
Compensation is a critical element in employee performance and retention. Senior positions in companies often come with higher salaries, but the extent of this gap has been a source of debate. While some argue that senior executives should be given significantly higher salaries than their lower-level colleagues, others believe in creating a more equitable compensation system that values employee contributions irrespective of their rank in the company. In my opinion, rather than a rank or title, compensation should be based on the value that a person delivers to the organisation.
One argument for compensating senior executives with higher salaries is that they carry more significant responsibilities and accountability than lower-level employees. Moreover, senior executives have often accrued years of experience and developed a unique set of skills that are not found in lower-level employees, which again supports compensation based on the seniority of employees in the company. In many companies there are managers who worked their way up and have contributed many years until they were promoted to the positions they are currently in; it is reasonable that they earn more than junior employees who are just starting out.
On the other hand, there are those who believe that excessive compensation gaps lead to inequality and can cause lower-level employees to lose morale and productivity. While it is true that senior executives carry a larger load of responsibilities, massive gaps in compensation can lead to resentment and dissatisfaction among the workforce. Furthermore, lower-level employees are often the ones responsible for the day-to-day operations of a company, which means that they contribute to the company’s overall success, and therefore, they should also receive fair compensation.
To conclude, there are compelling arguments for both sides of the compensation debate. Senior executives should be compensated fairly for the unique skills and increased responsibilities that come with their position, and to attract top-level talent to companies. However, this does not mean that lower-level employees should be denied the opportunity to earn a fair wage. Compensation, therefore, should be based on the value that an employee brings to the organization, rather than their rank or title.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Improve collocation Original: element Suggested revision: factor Why it matters: Factor in is the more natural collocation for something that influences performance and retention.
- 2. Use precise wording Original: extent Suggested revision: size Why it matters: Size directly and naturally describes the difference between salary levels.
- 3. Use uncountable responsibility Original: more significant responsibilities and accountability Suggested revision: greater responsibility and accountability Why it matters: Responsibility is uncountable when referring generally to the burden of a senior role.
- 4. Avoid absolute claim Original: skills that are not found in lower-level employees Suggested revision: skills that are less common among lower-level employees Why it matters: This wording preserves the comparison while avoiding an unnecessarily absolute formulation.
- 5. Fix collocation Original: lose morale and productivity Suggested revision: experience lower morale and productivity Why it matters: People can have lower morale, whereas lose morale is not a natural collocation.
- 6. Use natural phrasing Original: larger load of responsibilities Suggested revision: greater level of responsibility Why it matters: This is a more concise and natural expression of the burden attached to senior roles.
- 7. Tighten coordination Original: success, and therefore, they should also Suggested revision: success and should therefore Why it matters: Sharing the subject removes the unnecessary clause break and misplaced comma pair.
- 8. Restore parallel structure Original: position, and to attract top-level talent to companies Suggested revision: position and at a level that attracts top-level talent to companies Why it matters: The revision makes both complements depend grammatically on should be compensated.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: Give your own opinion and include relevant examples. Why it matters: Remove this copied task instruction because it interrupts the candidate's essay opening.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: In my opinion, rather than a rank or title, compensation should be based on the value that a person delivers to the organisation. Suggested revision: In my opinion, compensation should be based on the value a person delivers to the organisation rather than on their rank or title. Why it matters: Moving the comparison beside based on removes the misplaced introductory modifier.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: In many companies there are managers who worked their way up and have contributed many years until they were promoted to the positions they are currently in; it is reasonable that they earn more than junior employees who are just starting out. Suggested revision: In many companies, managers have worked their way up and contributed for many years before reaching their current positions; it is reasonable for them to earn more than junior employees who are just starting out. Why it matters: The rewrite corrects the tense sequence, time expression, and awkward promotion clause while preserving the comparison.
Suggested Rewrites
- element factor
- extent size
- more significant responsibilities and accountability greater responsibility and accountability
- skills that are not found in lower-level employees skills that are less common among lower-level employees
- lose morale and productivity experience lower morale and productivity
- larger load of responsibilities greater level of responsibility
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay offers a clear, nuanced position and develops both the case for higher executive pay and the risks of excessive salary gaps with strong logical control. Its main limitation is that the supporting examples remain fairly general, while a few sentences contain slight awkwardness. The highest-priority improvement is to add one precise real-world illustration and polish the few lapses in parallel structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly addresses the salary-gap issue, sustains a clear value-based position, and develops both sides convincingly.
Add a more specific example showing how value-based compensation could operate in practice.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses smoothly through well-focused paragraphs with cohesive devices used clearly and flexibly.
Make the link between the qualified position and the final recommendation even more explicit throughout the body.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and well suited to the topic, with only occasional slightly awkward combinations.
Replace phrases such as carry a larger load of responsibilities with more idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, and the few errors do not hinder communication.
Polish parallel structure, particularly in the conclusion's sentence about fair compensation and attracting talent.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People in senior positions should be compensated with significantly higher salaries than people in lower positions in the same company. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.