Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others. Students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
There is no doubt that some students in schools behave badly and their behaviour causes difficulty for others either because it has a negative effect on the group or because ordinary students find it difficult to study with them.
One solution is to take these students away and teach them on their own. However, if we simply have them removed after one or two warnings, we are limiting their educational opportunities because it seems to me that a school which caters for difficult students is a sort of "prison" whatever name you give it and the people who go there may never recover from the experience. This can then cause problems for the wider society.
Perhaps we need to look at why the disruptive students behave badly before we separate them. Disruptive students may be very intelligent and find the classes boring because the work is too easy. Perhaps these students need extra lessons rather than separate lessons. Or perhaps the teachers are uninspiring and this results in behavioural problems so we need better teachers. On the other hand, most students put up with this situation rather than cause trouble, and some people argue that we have to learn to suffer bad teachers and boring situations and that students who can't learn this lesson need to be taught separately.
So before we condemn the students to a special school, we should look at factors such as the teaching, because once the children have been separated, it is very unlikely that they will be brought back.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use neutral comparison Original: ordinary Suggested revision: other Why it matters: “Other students” makes the contrast without implying that disruptive students are abnormal.
- 2. Specify the action Original: take these students away Suggested revision: remove these students from mainstream classes Why it matters: The revision states clearly where the students would be removed from.
- 3. Clarify the reference Original: This can then Suggested revision: Such separation can then Why it matters: Naming the preceding action makes the cause of the wider problems explicit.
- 4. Use formal transition Original: Or perhaps Suggested revision: Alternatively, Why it matters: This transition marks the second possible explanation more clearly.
- 5. Make wording precise Original: so we need better teachers Suggested revision: so schools need more effective teachers Why it matters: The revision identifies the responsible institution and replaces the vague adjective “better.”
- 6. Use academic wording Original: bad teachers Suggested revision: poor teaching Why it matters: This phrasing focuses more precisely on teaching quality.
- 7. Use formal form Original: can't Suggested revision: cannot Why it matters: The uncontracted form is more appropriate for a formal essay.
- 8. Name the factor precisely Original: factors such as the teaching Suggested revision: factors such as teaching quality Why it matters: “Teaching quality” identifies the relevant aspect more precisely.
- 9. Clarify reintegration Original: brought back Suggested revision: reintegrated into mainstream classes Why it matters: The revision states clearly what returning the children would involve.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: However, if we simply have them removed after one or two warnings, we are limiting their educational opportunities because it seems to me that a school which caters for difficult students is a sort of "prison" whatever name you give it and the people who go there may never recover from the experience. Suggested revision: However, removing them after only one or two warnings would limit their educational opportunities because a school for difficult students may feel like a prison, whatever its name, and attendees may never recover from the experience. Why it matters: The revision reduces the overloaded structure and punctuates the parenthetical phrase correctly.
- 11. Separate the counterargument Suggested revision: Move the final counterargument into a distinct section after the possible causes and alternatives have been presented. Why it matters: The paragraph shifts abruptly from explaining disruptive behaviour to defending separation, which weakens its progression.
Suggested Rewrites
- ordinary other
- take these students away remove these students from mainstream classes
- This can then Such separation can then
- Or perhaps Alternatively,
- so we need better teachers so schools need more effective teachers
- bad teachers poor teaching
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response’s strongest feature is its nuanced and well-developed argument against automatic segregation, supported by plausible causes and consequences. Its main limitation is that the position remains somewhat indirect until the conclusion, while one body paragraph carries several competing ideas. The highest-priority improvement is to state the qualified stance earlier and group the alternative explanations into a more sharply controlled progression.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly engages with segregation, develops a clear qualified disagreement, and supports it with relevant causes and social consequences.
State the qualified disagreement explicitly in the opening so the position is immediately unmistakable.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through the problem, risks of separation, possible causes, and a consistent conclusion, with cohesive devices used effectively.
Divide the longest body paragraph or tighten its internal grouping so each alternative receives a more distinct role.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, natural, and precise, with effective expressions for education, behaviour, and social consequences.
Refine occasional broad labels such as ordinary students by choosing more exact neutral terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a wide variety of complex structures with strong control and only minor punctuation or sentence-length issues.
Lightly streamline the longest multi-clause sentence to preserve clarity without reducing grammatical range.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others. Students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.