A new shopping center is going to open in your town. at present, nobody knows what kind of shops or facilities are going to be provided for customers. what shops and facilities would you like to see made available to the shopping public?
Sample Response
I am glad that a new shopping center is going to open in our town. we badly need a good place to shop and meet up with our friends. in my opinion, we need many different kinds of shops, but the center should also provide us with a number of community facilities.
To begin with, there should be a large food supermarket within the center. people must have a good and cheap place to buy their weekly food supplies. however, we must also have specialty food shops that supply foods that are hard to get in a supermarket. a large delicatessen would be a good idea. and perhaps we can have an Asian food store since Asian food is very popular nowadays.
next, we need an all-purpose store such as K-Mart. if possible, I would like this store to be quite large and with a lot of checkout aisles because it is boring when you have to wait a long time to be served. homeware stores are a good idea, too, since there are many young homemakers in our area.
Of course, we must have all the usual shops such as a hairdressers’, a butchers’, a chemist’, a post office, and various clothing shops. but most importantly we need a lot of places to sit down and eat. mothers with small children will require special areas for them to play in, and there should be plenty of clean restrooms as well.
In conclusion, I would like to see a lot of free activities and product demonstrations in the new center because this will attract customers and make the shopping center a great success. if the center contains a lot of office space, it will be a big mistake.
Most young people without a partner would prefer to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. yet being in a relationship when you are young is not always a good idea. as part of a class project, write about whether you agree or disagree. give reasons for your answer.
A new shopping center is going to open in your town. at present, nobody A new shopping center is going to open in your town. at present, nobody A new shopping center is going to open in your town. at present, nobody
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Capitalize sentence start Original: we Suggested revision: We Why it matters: A new sentence must begin with a capital letter.
- 2. Capitalize sentence start Original: in Suggested revision: In Why it matters: A new sentence must begin with a capital letter.
- 3. Capitalize sentence start Original: people Suggested revision: People Why it matters: A new sentence must begin with a capital letter.
- 4. Capitalize sentence start Original: however Suggested revision: However Why it matters: A new sentence must begin with a capital letter.
- 5. Capitalize sentence start Original: a Suggested revision: A Why it matters: A new sentence must begin with a capital letter.
- 6. Improve sentence opening Original: and perhaps we can Suggested revision: Perhaps we can Why it matters: Capitalizing the sentence and removing the unnecessary coordinator creates a clear transition.
- 7. Capitalize sentence start Original: next Suggested revision: Next Why it matters: A new sentence must begin with a capital letter.
- 8. Capitalize sentence start Original: if Suggested revision: If Why it matters: A new sentence must begin with a capital letter.
- 9. Capitalize sentence start Original: homeware Suggested revision: Homeware Why it matters: A new sentence must begin with a capital letter.
- 10. Fix sentence opening Original: but most importantly we need Suggested revision: But most importantly, we need Why it matters: The sentence needs initial capitalization and a comma after the introductory phrase.
- 11. Capitalize sentence start Original: mothers Suggested revision: Mothers Why it matters: A new sentence must begin with a capital letter.
- 12. Capitalize sentence start Original: if Suggested revision: If Why it matters: A new sentence must begin with a capital letter.
Suggested Rewrites
- we We
- in In
- people People
- however However
- a A
- and perhaps we can Perhaps we can
Why this response received Band 6.5
The main shopping-centre essay is well organised and gives a broad, relevant set of shops and facilities with practical reasons, showing confident vocabulary and generally controlled sentence structures. However, an unrelated relationship prompt and repeated fragments are appended after the conclusion, seriously weakening focus and final coherence. The highest-priority improvement is to remove all extraneous copied material and proofread sentence openings and punctuation before submission.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The core response answers the question thoroughly with relevant suggestions and reasons, but the unrelated appended prompt and repeated rubric materially weaken task focus.
Submit only the completed shopping-centre essay and remove every copied or unrelated line after the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The relevant paragraphs follow a clear sequence and each develops a distinct group of facilities, although the appended material breaks the overall progression.
End after the focused conclusion and verify that every paragraph contributes to the same central topic.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise across retail, food, community facilities, and customer needs, with only occasional awkward wording.
Refine a few imprecise phrases and avoid repeating prompt language that adds no meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex and simple structures with generally good control, but pervasive missing capitals and some punctuation and noun-form errors remain.
Capitalise every sentence opening and proofread apostrophes, plural forms, and coordination in longer sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
A new shopping center is going to open in your town. at present, nobody knows what kind of shops or facilities are going to be provided for customers. what shops and facilities would you like to see made available to the shopping public?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.