Some people prefer shopping in shopping centres while others prefer local markets. What are the advantages of each? Which shopping experience do you prefer?
Sample Response
People have different preferences in term of shopping places and shopping experience. Many people choose to shop atfrom a mall or plaza while others like to buy goods atfrom a traditional market. The following paragraphs outline the benefits of both settings. My preference, however, is a traditional market because I like to bargain over pricesbargain price and buy fresh products. For several reasons, some people decide to purchase goods from a large shopping centre. Firstly, shopping in a shopping mall is safer than that of local markets. Malls and plazas are equipped with surveillance systemsequipped with a surveillance system, while security guards ensure that no thefts or robberies take placemake sure no snatching and robbery take place. Secondly, shopping in a large retail complexshopping in a mega-complex is more convenient and comfortable as most shopping malls are equipped with air conditioning that maintains a comfortable temperatureair conditioners that make the temperature soothing. Facilities like a play zone for children, credit card payment, cineplex, food court etc. attract many customersmany more customers. However, some people still prefer local markets for various reasons. It is a fact that product prices in a traditional market are generally lowerare comparatively cheaper. Besides, many unique and traditional products are not sold in modern shopping complexes but are available in local markets. For exampleexamples, many traditional and handmade crafts are only sold in local markets, and each item is unique because it is a custom made product. Finally, the freshness of fishfishes, fruits and vegetables in a local market is perhaps the most significant advantage offor choosing it over a large shopping centre. In conclusion, it is undeniable that shopping in modern shopping centres and traditional markets hashave itstheir own positive aspects. I personally like to shop at a local market because I cancould buy things at better pricesat a better price and get fresh fruits and vegetables whenever I want.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response answers both questions clearly, presenting several relevant advantages for shopping centres and local markets while maintaining a definite preference for freshness and negotiable prices. Its strongest feature is the balanced range of practical comparisons, but the entire essay appears as one paragraph and recurring language errors reduce polish. The highest-priority improvement is to separate the two settings into focused paragraphs and correct common shopping-related collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Advantages of both settings are relevant and adequately developed, and the preference for local markets is clear and supported by reasons.
Explain more explicitly why freshness and lower prices outweigh the safety and convenience offered by shopping centres.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas move logically from shopping-centre benefits to local-market benefits and the preference, but the lack of paragraph breaks weakens organization.
Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, each shopping setting, and the conclusion, with one controlling comparison in each body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The response has adequate vocabulary for facilities, security, products, and prices, but several inaccurate collocations and word forms are noticeable.
Use natural phrases such as bargain over the price, shop at a mall, examples, fresh fish, and custom-made products.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains clear through a mix of sentence forms, although recurring errors in comparison, agreement, articles, number, and modal tense reduce accuracy.
Check comparative structures and subject-verb agreement, especially when comparing shopping at a mall with shopping at local markets.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people prefer shopping in shopping centres while others prefer local markets. What are the advantages of each? Which shopping experience do you prefer?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.