Shopping habits depend more on your age group than anything else. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Many would argue that an individual’s shopping habits depend more on age demographics than other factors. In my opinion, age is relevant in terms of a person’s tastes, however social class is a greater determiner.
Those who would argue in favor of age point out how a person’s preferences are largely fixed. The past several decades have witnessed seismic changes in culture, particularly related to technology. A person who grew up before the digital age is more inclined to spend money on books, holidays, furniture, and other non-digital items. The style of these items is also likely to be more traditional and less modern. However, someone under the age of 40, is more likely to spend on a new phone, electronic vehicle such as a Tesla, or clothing and furniture that is more modern and minimalist. These disparities widen when considering the youngest generations who are even more inclined to value the virtual world through purchases such as NFTs and cryptocurrencies.
However, for the majority of major purchases, wealth determines what a person can afford and therefore buy. This is evident for a variety of products ranging from food and wellness items to technology and fashion. For instance, most individuals would love to buy the newest smartphone when it is released, drive in a luxury car and shop for expensive and healthy organic products at the supermarket. However, one’s financial status will either allow a person to express these desires or force them to live frugally. The best evidence for this is the lack of discretion children show when it comes to shopping. They are uninhibited by financial concerns and therefore attempt to buy whatever they like.
In conclusion, despite the clear differences in taste present in individuals or different generations, financial flexibility is the clearest factor influencing a person’s shopping habits. This has been true for most of history and still remains the case today.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise category Original: demographics Suggested revision: group Why it matters: Age group is the more natural term for the category described here.
- 2. Use that-clause Original: how Suggested revision: that Why it matters: A that-clause more directly introduces the proposition being asserted.
- 3. Remove stray comma Original: under the age of 40, Suggested revision: under the age of 40 Why it matters: The comma incorrectly separates the subject phrase from its verb.
- 4. Complete the collocation Original: spend on a new phone Suggested revision: spend money on a new phone Why it matters: Spend money on is the complete and natural collocation in this context.
- 5. Use correct term Original: electronic Suggested revision: electric Why it matters: Electric vehicle is the standard term for a vehicle powered by electricity.
- 6. Clarify the group Original: the youngest generations Suggested revision: younger generations Why it matters: Younger generations is a clearer general reference to the age groups being contrasted.
- 7. Improve the phrasing Original: value the virtual world through purchases Suggested revision: engage with the virtual world through purchases Why it matters: Engage with more clearly expresses participation through virtual purchases.
- 8. Remove unnecessary preposition Original: drive in a luxury car Suggested revision: drive a luxury car Why it matters: Drive takes the vehicle directly as its object in this meaning.
- 9. Use natural collocation Original: express Suggested revision: fulfil Why it matters: Fulfil desires more accurately conveys being able to make the desired purchases.
- 10. Choose precise noun Original: discretion Suggested revision: restraint Why it matters: Restraint more precisely describes children's difficulty limiting what they try to buy.
- 11. Correct the preposition Original: or Suggested revision: of Why it matters: Of correctly links individuals to the generations they belong to.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: In my opinion, age is relevant in terms of a person’s tastes, however social class is a greater determiner. Suggested revision: In my opinion, age is relevant to a person’s tastes; however, social class is a greater determinant. Why it matters: The rewrite fixes the comma splice and uses the standard noun determinant.
Suggested Rewrites
- demographics group
- how that
- under the age of 40, under the age of 40
- spend on a new phone spend money on a new phone
- electronic electric
- the youngest generations younger generations
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear, nuanced position and develops a persuasive comparison between age-related preferences and financial capacity, with fluent progression throughout. Its main limitation is that a few supporting claims, particularly the generalisations about fixed tastes and children's behaviour, are broader or less convincing than the central argument. The highest-priority improvement is to qualify these claims and use more precise evidence to strengthen the reasoning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and fully sustained, with both age and wealth examined through relevant, well-developed ideas.
Qualify broad generational claims and replace the weaker children example with more direct evidence about purchasing behaviour.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically across well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the comparison without distracting from it.
Make the transition from general affordability to the final children example more explicit so the supporting logic remains seamless.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, with only occasional awkward choices such as 'electronic vehicle' and 'greater determiner'.
Refine less natural collocations and favour exact terms such as 'electric vehicle' and 'more important determinant'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with only minor punctuation and phrasing slips.
Remove unnecessary commas after introductory subjects and check parallel phrasing in the conclusion for complete precision.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Shopping habits depend more on your age group than anything else. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.