There is little difference in the shops now operating in various nations. Some people think this is a positive development, while others believe it is a negative one. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
In the current scenario, a considerable difference could be seen in the running of the shops in various countries. A few argue that it is advantageous if all the shops produce similar products; however, others disagree, who say that it will enhance complete control of giant firms. In my perspective, it is advantageous for the people who migrate overseas as well as travel in their home country and find it convenient to get their basic requirements in any corner of their country.
To commence with, those, who embrace the idea of having similarity in the product, are beneficial for the shoppers in different countries. They consider that buyers can access any product while travelling to any part of the world. They will not struggle in choosing their desirable products. Also, they will feel at ease by getting the same things that they usually bought in their native land. Thus, it is convenient for them. For example, if people of the traditional nation visit alien countries either for work or study, they find the necessities also in their host country. If it is talked about ethnic wear, traditional food, and holy books; then, these can be attained in foreign countries. Thus it has reduced the burden of people and has made their stay comfortable in any corner of the world.
On the other hand, those who consider it is a negative development say that producing the same items can give rise to thorough possession of a company. This can lead to shutting down the business of local shop owners. Ultimately, they will have to bear the financial loss. Thus this monopoly can create problems for the shoppers as well. For instance, affluent people can access branded clothes and other requisite things. Local shops do not compel the customers to pay because people have a chance to make payments in instalments. This privilege they cannot have while doing shopping from patent firms. Thus, it is not beneficial for the buyers as well as shop owners. Moreover, complete possersorship can make the entrepreneurs hike the prices and manufacture only those mostly sold products. Thus, profit-seekers will not consider people’s choices. First, they will be focused more on generating more income. Therefore, it will lead the consumers to comprise with the things.
In conclusion, Thus, producing similar items are beneficial for the customers to make them feel at home even from another land. They will be able to buy any product at their whim. On the contrary, it is disadvantageous because it will lead to thorough ownership of particular firms, and there are chances of rising inflation. I consider that although it is disadvantageous, buyers find it easy to purchase desirable products while sitting in any corner of the world, and they do not need to struggle against selecting a thing because everything will be available at a fixed rate so that it will make their shopping hassle-free.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: scenario Suggested revision: context Why it matters: This phrase is more natural and appropriately formal for an academic introduction.
- 2. Choose precise noun Original: running of the shops Suggested revision: operation of shops Why it matters: “Operation” accurately describes how shops function, whereas “running” is awkward here.
- 3. Clarify the subject Original: A few argue Suggested revision: Some people argue Why it matters: Naming people directly makes the reference clearer and more natural.
- 4. Use accurate verb Original: produce Suggested revision: sell Why it matters: Shops normally sell products rather than produce them.
- 5. Repair relative clause Original: others disagree, who say Suggested revision: others disagree, saying Why it matters: The relative pronoun incorrectly attaches to “others disagree” and should be replaced by a participle.
- 6. Fix word combination Original: enhance Suggested revision: give Why it matters: “Enhance complete control” is not a natural collocation for describing corporate dominance.
- 7. Correct preposition Original: In Suggested revision: From Why it matters: The fixed expression uses “from,” not “in.”
- 8. Use precise vocabulary Original: their basic requirements Suggested revision: basic necessities Why it matters: “Necessities” refers more naturally to essential products that people need.
- 9. Use natural transition Original: commence Suggested revision: begin Why it matters: This is a more conventional transition for introducing the first argument.
- 10. Remove wrong comma Original: those, who Suggested revision: those who Why it matters: A defining relative clause beginning with “who” should not be separated from “those” by a comma.
- 11. Improve noun phrase Original: having similarity in the product Suggested revision: product similarity Why it matters: The original expression is wordy and uses “product” imprecisely.
- 12. Clarify the claim Original: buyers can access any product Suggested revision: buyers can find familiar products Why it matters: This wording matches the paragraph’s point about finding the same products abroad.
Suggested Rewrites
- scenario context
- running of the shops operation of shops
- A few argue Some people argue
- produce sell
- others disagree, who say others disagree, saying
- enhance give
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response covers both perspectives at substantial length and offers a consistent preference for the convenience created by similar shops. Its main limitation is imprecise development: several examples are difficult to follow, while frequent grammar and word-choice problems weaken otherwise clear arguments. The highest priority is to express each supporting point in accurate, direct language and ensure that every example clearly demonstrates the claim it follows.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and an opinion are presented, but some supporting ideas and examples are unclear or only partly convincing.
Develop each view through one precise claim, explanation, and directly relevant example before restating the position.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a recognizable progression and appropriate paragraphing, although repetitive linking and some loosely connected sentences reduce fluency.
Use fewer mechanical connectors such as 'Thus' and make the logical relationship between consecutive sentences explicit.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss convenience and commercial control, but frequent inaccurate choices and collocations reduce precision.
Replace unclear expressions such as 'patent firms' and 'comprise with the things' with simple, accurate business and consumer vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms is attempted, but recurring agreement, article, clause, and punctuation errors frequently disrupt control.
Prioritize accurate subject-verb agreement and complete clause structures before attempting long, multi-clause sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
There is little difference in the shops now operating in various nations. Some people think this is a positive development, while others believe it is a negative one. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.