Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
The issue of the present is the issue of the arrangement of the school. Generally, some people espouse the notion that teaching boys and girls in different schools are imperative. I opine that it is prominent to educate both boys and girls on the same campus or same class. This essay will scrutinize both aspects of the quandary in the ensuing paragraphs.
To begin with, proponents believe that girls and boys educate separately because of their safety so that they learn more independently without any fear. Furthermore, separating both genders in school is cardinal as they can not distract during some other activities. In addition, females feel more comfortable with females, and boys feel more convenient with boys, so this leads to a better atmosphere at schools, and learners easily concentrate more on their studies. For example, in Australia, the government separated boys’ and girls’ schools because of safety, and these things positively impacted education students were more intelligent than in the past.
Secondly, I vehemently believe that males and females should educate in the same class to bring harmony to schools, which positively impacts students. Also, they can get to know each other and acquire collaborating skills if they educate in the same schools. Moreover, boys and girls are educated in the same schools because it is a win-win situation for both, for they can fathom their opposite gender, and in the future, this will help if they work at the office. To exemplify, in the survey of 2012, which was conducted by an educational authority, 70% of students learned about how to cooperate with another gender.
In conclusion, considering these points from a personal perspective, without a shadow of a doubt. I am inclined to believe that it is suitable for boys and girls to educate at the same schools.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix subject agreement Original: are Suggested revision: is Why it matters: The gerund phrase is singular and therefore requires 'is'.
- 2. Choose accurate adjective Original: prominent Suggested revision: preferable Why it matters: 'Prominent' describes importance or visibility, whereas 'preferable' expresses a choice.
- 3. Add parallel preposition Original: on the same campus or same class Suggested revision: on the same campus or in the same class Why it matters: The second location needs its own appropriate preposition.
- 4. Use precise noun Original: quandary Suggested revision: issue Why it matters: 'Issue' is a more natural description of the educational debate here.
- 5. Use passive form Original: girls and boys educate separately Suggested revision: girls and boys are educated separately Why it matters: The students receive the education, so a passive verb is required.
- 6. Improve collocation Original: because of their safety Suggested revision: for their safety Why it matters: 'For their safety' states the intended protective purpose more naturally.
- 7. Remove unsupported comparison Original: learn more independently Suggested revision: learn independently Why it matters: 'More' lacks a stated point of comparison in this clause.
- 8. Clarify the group Original: both genders in school Suggested revision: the two genders at school Why it matters: This wording is more precise in the context of boys and girls.
- 9. Use passive construction Original: they can not distract Suggested revision: they cannot be distracted Why it matters: Students are affected by distractions, so the passive form is needed.
- 10. Remove vague wording Original: during some other activities Suggested revision: during other school activities Why it matters: Naming these as school activities makes the reference clearer.
- 11. Correct adjective choice Original: convenient Suggested revision: comfortable Why it matters: People feel comfortable, while situations or objects are convenient.
- 12. Place adverb correctly Original: learners easily concentrate more Suggested revision: learners can concentrate more easily Why it matters: The revised order gives the adverb a clear and grammatical relationship to the verb.
Suggested Rewrites
- are is
- prominent preferable
- on the same campus or same class on the same campus or in the same class
- quandary issue
- girls and boys educate separately girls and boys are educated separately
- because of their safety for their safety
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response has a clear preference for mixed schooling and covers both viewpoints with relevant reasons, giving it a recognisable argumentative structure. Its main limitation is that support is often general or questionable, while frequent awkward word choices and grammar errors reduce precision. Prioritise clearer explanation of each claim and edit sentences for accurate verb forms, collocations, and boundaries.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear opinion are presented, but several supporting claims and examples are general, implausible, or insufficiently explained.
Develop each main reason through a clear cause-and-effect explanation and use a specific, credible example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a logical four-paragraph structure, although linking is mechanical and some long or fragmented sentences interrupt the flow.
Use fewer formulaic connectors and ensure each sentence leads clearly from the preceding claim to its explanation.
Lexical Resource
There is a reasonable range of vocabulary, but frequent inappropriate collocations and imprecise choices make the expression unnatural.
Prefer accurate common phrases such as attend school together, study separately, and understand the opposite sex over forced formal vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex forms is attempted, but recurring errors with verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries reduce control.
Proofread each sentence for a complete clause and correct active or passive verb construction before adding complex detail.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.