Many people use social media every day to get in touch with other people and news events. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
Beyond daily communication, social media has also been used as a platform of spreading news events. Owing to this development, many people now have instant access to current issues. Despite the convenience and efficiency, I personally believe there are more disadvantages in such excessive use of social media.
It is true that the current technology and social media make news available to the public sooner than any conventional media like newspapers. This not only enables a faster coverage of news, but reduces the use of printed materials to some extent. What also needs to be acknowledged is the significance of social media in promoting interpersonal communication and information exchange. In extreme cases, like during Corona virus prevention and control, social media has proved its liability as an alternative for offline activities, such as family gatherings and school orientations.
However, many people are so tied up with social network that they tend to overlook the long-term side effects. The major problem with using social media in news reporting is that there tends to be a lack of fact verification before the sharing process happens. People are easily overwhelmed by the political arguments, posted selfies, shared links, and brand videos that enter the average news feed every day. When reading current events on social media, many people are found just scrolling past headlines and not wanting to read them, either because of information overload or the suspicion of fake news.
The notion that social media improves communication also tends to be simplistic and idealized. Very often, the quality of an online conversation is unfavorable because one cannot sense the emotion from the other person. Reliance on social media could hurt a person’s ability to have a face-to-face conversation, since it is unusual to convey a thoughtful message through spoken word or instant texting. Thus, the dependence on social network has in fact reduced communication quality.
To conclude, my view is that the benefits of using social media as a mean of daily contact and news events are tiny, compared with the negative repercussions in the long run. The excessive use has caused an unhealthy environment in society.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix the collocation Original: platform of spreading news events Suggested revision: platform for sharing news Why it matters: A platform is used ‘for’ an activity, and news is shared rather than news events spread.
- 2. Correct the preposition Original: in such excessive use Suggested revision: to this excessive use Why it matters: ‘Disadvantages to’ correctly links the drawbacks with this type of use.
- 3. Remove the article Original: the current technology and social media Suggested revision: current technology and social media Why it matters: ‘Technology’ is uncountable here and does not take the definite article.
- 4. Complete paired structure Original: but reduces Suggested revision: but also reduces Why it matters: The correlative structure requires ‘not only ... but also’.
- 5. Correct the spelling Original: Corona virus Suggested revision: coronavirus Why it matters: The standard spelling is the single word ‘coronavirus’.
- 6. Replace the wrong word Original: liability Suggested revision: value Why it matters: ‘Liability’ means a disadvantage or legal responsibility, so it reverses the intended meaning.
- 7. Use the plural noun Original: network Suggested revision: networks Why it matters: The general reference requires the plural count noun ‘networks’.
- 8. Use the standard term Original: fact verification Suggested revision: fact-checking Why it matters: ‘Fact-checking’ is the conventional term for verifying news claims.
- 9. Avoid awkward passive Original: many people are found just scrolling Suggested revision: many people simply scroll Why it matters: The active construction states the observed behaviour more directly and naturally.
- 10. Improve the collocation Original: sense the emotion from the other person Suggested revision: sense the other person’s emotions Why it matters: This possessive construction is the natural way to express perceiving another person’s feelings.
- 11. Use the fixed phrase Original: mean Suggested revision: means Why it matters: The fixed expression is ‘a means of’, with ‘means’ retaining the final s.
- 12. Use direct wording Original: before the sharing process happens Suggested revision: before content is shared Why it matters: This revision expresses the timing of sharing more naturally and concisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- platform of spreading news events platform for sharing news
- in such excessive use to this excessive use
- the current technology and social media current technology and social media
- but reduces but also reduces
- Corona virus coronavirus
- liability value
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response takes a clear position and develops both the benefits and the longer-term drawbacks of social media in a logical, well-paragraphed argument. Its main weakness is imprecise language, with several unnatural or incorrect collocations weakening otherwise sophisticated points; the highest-priority improvement is to choose natural noun-preposition combinations and verify that advanced vocabulary conveys the intended meaning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay directly evaluates the relative advantages and disadvantages and sustains a clear view with relevant development on communication and news.
Strengthen the final judgement by briefly weighing the most important benefit against the most serious drawback rather than describing the benefits as simply tiny.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument is logically sequenced, with focused paragraphs and cohesive links that make the progression easy to follow.
Use slightly less formulaic opening transitions so the connections between claims arise more naturally from the reasoning.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a broad vocabulary, but recurrent collocational problems such as platform of spreading and proved its liability reduce precision.
Prioritise accurate, natural collocations over ambitious substitutions, especially with prepositions and abstract nouns.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are varied and mostly controlled, though article, number, and noun-form errors recur without obscuring the message.
Proofread noun phrases systematically for articles, singular-plural agreement, and correct forms such as means rather than mean.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people use social media every day to get in touch with other people and news events. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.