The users of social media, such as Facebook, Twitter, are replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this way outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
It is claimed that modern technological tools for communication, including social media, are gradually replacing direct contact among people. From my perspective, the drawbacks of this trend totally overshadow its merits.
To begin with, it is true that the emergence of social networking websites and applications such as Facebook have revolutionized the way people contact one another. To be more specific, nowadays, regardless of geographical distance, people from most places on the planet can send messages or make use of video calls to keep in touch with their loved ones, eliminating the need for people to gather in one place for face-to- face conversations. In terms of business, thanks to the invention of online-based communication tools, including Facebook and Viber, people working in enterprises can conduct their meetings via the internet, also eliminating the need for people to be in the one place to conduct a meeting. As a result, face-to-face conversations are gradually being replaced by virtual communication exchanges.
However, the aforementioned merits are totally eclipsed by the potential negative drawbacks of this trend. Firstly, in this technological era, with the development of online communication tools, it can be seen that many people are substituting their real-life relations with digital communication. In fact, a large number of young people nowadays tend to prefer making friends via means of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, to gathering at a real place. In the long term, this would gradually alienate people from communities, which could even lead to social isolation and a lack of many interpersonal skills. Secondly, literacy skills of many people could also be negatively affected due to the lack of social interaction and ways to transmit formal messages. It is true that most individuals, especially teenagers, often use informal language with several emoticons when communicating on social networking. Consequently, their ability to read and write in situations that require formality is greatly reduced.
In conclusion, although social media has brought some benefits for society, the drawbacks of overusing such advanced technology to replace real-life communication is much more significant.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix subject agreement Original: have Suggested revision: has Why it matters: The singular head noun “emergence” requires the verb “has.”
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: make use of video calls Suggested revision: make video calls Why it matters: “Make video calls” is the more concise and natural collocation.
- 3. Remove redundant wording Original: online-based Suggested revision: online Why it matters: “Online” already expresses the idea conveyed by “based.”
- 4. Correct article use Original: in the one place Suggested revision: in one place Why it matters: The general expression “in one place” does not take the definite article.
- 5. Avoid lexical redundancy Original: potential negative drawbacks Suggested revision: potential drawbacks Why it matters: A drawback is inherently negative, so “negative” is redundant.
- 6. Use precise collocation Original: substituting their real-life relations with digital communication Suggested revision: replacing their real-life relationships with digital communication Why it matters: “Replace relationships with” is more idiomatic and precise in this context.
- 7. Fix preposition phrase Original: via means of social media Suggested revision: through social media Why it matters: “Via means of” is an incorrect blend of two prepositional expressions.
- 8. Use idiomatic phrasing Original: gathering at a real place Suggested revision: meeting in person Why it matters: “Meeting in person” states the intended contrast with online interaction more naturally.
- 9. Correct quantity phrase Original: a lack of many interpersonal skills Suggested revision: a lack of interpersonal skills Why it matters: “A lack of” already expresses an insufficient quantity, making “many” inappropriate here.
- 10. Name the platform type Original: networking Suggested revision: networks Why it matters: “Social networking” describes an activity, while “social networks” names the platforms used.
- 11. Use correct collocation Original: for Suggested revision: to Why it matters: “Benefits to society” is the standard collocation for advantages received by society.
- 12. Fix plural agreement Original: is Suggested revision: are Why it matters: The plural subject “drawbacks” requires the plural verb “are.”
Suggested Rewrites
- have has
- make use of video calls make video calls
- online-based online
- in the one place in one place
- potential negative drawbacks potential drawbacks
- substituting their real-life relations with digital communication replacing their real-life relationships with digital communication
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response maintains a clear position and supports it with logically developed benefits and drawbacks, particularly the consequences for social connection and formal literacy. Its main limitation is that the advantages are sometimes described as communication mechanisms rather than explicitly weighed benefits, while several repetitive or awkward expressions reduce precision; make the comparative evaluation more explicit throughout and use more natural collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is fully addressed with a clear position and relevant, generally developed ideas on both sides.
Explicitly explain why each stated benefit is less significant than the disadvantages instead of leaving some comparison implicit.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through a clear four-paragraph structure, with cohesive devices supporting the argument.
Reduce repeated transitions and phrasing so connections between ideas feel less mechanical and more economical.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently wide vocabulary conveys the argument clearly, though several collocations are awkward or redundant.
Replace combinations such as redundant descriptions of drawbacks and unnatural references to relationships with more idiomatic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is used with generally strong control, despite occasional agreement and article errors.
Proofread subject-verb agreement and article choice, especially in long sentences with plural subjects.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The users of social media, such as Facebook, Twitter, are replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this way outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.