The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
Over the last century, humankind got huge thrives in applied science. These days, usage of social media has become part of our routine lives, which is replacing physical contact with others in the community. I believe that the given notion carries more pros than drawbacks; my inclination will be justified in the following paragraphs, along with the logical conclusion.
There are various advantages of social media usage. First and foremost, social networking is the platform that synchronizes all people together without geographical boundaries. In other words, in this contemporary era, the majority of people have a hectic work schedule, so there are very few occasions where they can socialize. By using social sites, they can interconnect with friends and relatives by chatting or video call. Secondly, social media is also the platform for becoming a famous person by making unique content or post. In India, for instance, a number of content creators became famous via Facebook and Tiktok kinds of social sites. Thus, it also yields frame and fortune in any case. Finally, this is a good platform for receiving information and news; additionally, it is free of cost and aid in being up to date.
However, over-limit use of the social platform is deleterious for a person. After starting the use of social websites, myriad of people become addicted to it because it allure people easily. In 2016, For example, as per a survey conducted by ‘Times of New York’, 42% of American children were addicted to social sites, which resulted in their bad performance in the final exam. Another disadvantage is that when they do not meet others face to face periodically, it affects their relationship even sometimes spoil it.
In conclusion, since the usage of social media is rising day by day, it is observed that it was reducing face to face conversation. I believe that the advantages of it outweigh the cons, social media has put all people under one roof, and it saves time and resources while it also spoils people and their relationships sometimes.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct word choice Original: got huge thrives Suggested revision: made huge advances Why it matters: 'Make advances' is the correct collocation for substantial scientific progress.
- 2. Name the trend Original: given notion Suggested revision: trend Why it matters: 'Trend' accurately identifies the growing replacement of direct interaction by social media.
- 3. Use academic phrasing Original: carries more pros than drawbacks Suggested revision: has more advantages than drawbacks Why it matters: 'Has more advantages' is clearer and more formal than 'carries more pros'.
- 4. Use direct wording Original: inclination Suggested revision: view Why it matters: 'My view' states the writer's position more naturally in this context.
- 5. Correct article Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: Use the indefinite article because social networking is being presented as one kind of platform.
- 6. Use natural collocation Original: synchronizes all people together Suggested revision: connects people Why it matters: 'Connects people' expresses the intended social function naturally and without redundancy.
- 7. Use infinitive structure Original: occasions where they can Suggested revision: opportunities to Why it matters: 'Opportunities to socialize' is the natural grammatical construction here.
- 8. Use parallel nouns Original: by chatting or video call Suggested revision: through chats or video calls Why it matters: Parallel plural nouns are required to name the two methods consistently.
- 9. Correct article and phrasing Original: social media is also the platform for becoming a famous person Suggested revision: social media is also a platform for becoming famous Why it matters: Use an indefinite article and the concise adjective phrase 'becoming famous'.
- 10. Fix number agreement Original: post Suggested revision: posts Why it matters: The countable noun 'post' should be plural when referring generally to content creation.
- 11. Clarify examples Original: Facebook and Tiktok kinds of social sites Suggested revision: Facebook, TikTok, and similar social media platforms Why it matters: The revision correctly names the platform and replaces the unnatural phrase 'kinds of social sites'.
- 12. Correct expression Original: frame Suggested revision: fame Why it matters: The fixed expression is 'fame and fortune'.
Suggested Rewrites
- got huge thrives made huge advances
- given notion trend
- carries more pros than drawbacks has more advantages than drawbacks
- inclination view
- the a
- synchronizes all people together connects people
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response states a clear position, covers advantages and disadvantages, and follows an easy-to-recognize paragraph structure. However, the claimed superiority of the advantages is only partly demonstrated, while frequent awkward word choices and grammatical errors weaken precision and fluency. The highest priority is to compare the two sides explicitly and then edit each sentence for accurate collocation, agreement, and sentence boundaries.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is addressed with a consistent opinion and relevant ideas, but the advantages are not explicitly weighed against the disadvantages in depth.
Explain why the benefits are more significant than relationship damage rather than merely listing more advantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear overall progression and appropriate paragraphing, though linking is sometimes mechanical and the conclusion becomes loosely coordinated.
Use fewer formulaic connectors and divide the final comma-spliced sentence into clearly related claims.
Lexical Resource
There is enough range to discuss the topic, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce naturalness and precision.
Replace phrases such as 'huge thrives,' 'over-limit use,' and 'frame and fortune' with accurate, idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex forms are attempted, but recurring errors in agreement, articles, tense, and punctuation limit control.
Edit systematically for subject-verb agreement and sentence boundaries, especially in the disadvantage paragraph and conclusion.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.