Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem?
Sample Response
Trees, from all over the world, are diminished and are continues to be reduced by mankind, with many serious perils to our nature and people should not connive at this deforestation. We need oxygen for our survival and trees provide us this most important element for our living. Immediate individual and governmental steps should be taken to save our most trusted friends, trees. Forests are the essential source of oxygen and trees encourages the soil and keep the ground from erosion. Furthermore, forests are habitats of a lot of animals and are home to myriad insects. People should take these aspects of forests into account and reform some regulations. The government should be more strict to control the unauthorised chop down activities. Namely, Amazon rainforest has been felled and used commercially and has already caused a huge damage to the wildlife and the environment. Consequently, proper legislations are very vital for preventing deforestation. In addition to legislations informing people might help to slow down saw down of forests. In spite of the legislations are oppose to people who remove trees, people will not perceive how perilous these actions are and they will continue to cut trees without realising the danger. Due to their benefit from the trade, the most efficient way to prevent deforestation is to inform people. For instance, governments might make some advertisement to show on the TVs and also on the roads. Furthermore, making some interviews by experts in the news may be another solution.
More forest securities should be in place to prevent people from cutting down trees. Logging should be banned in areas where the percentage or forest is low and alternative ways of cooking should be introduced. Finally artificial and metal furniture should be used instead of using woods. To sum up, in spite of the vital roles forests play in our life people do not stop to cut down trees and use them for luxury. In this case, governments should reform legislations and inform people about logging danger. Without information people deforestation will continue for commercial use and array of animals and insects will get extended and we will endanger our mother planet.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add the preposition Original: provide us this most important element Suggested revision: provide us with this essential element Why it matters: Provide someone with something is the correct construction.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: for our living Suggested revision: for life Why it matters: For life is the natural expression in this context.
- 3. Correct verb and meaning Original: encourages Suggested revision: enrich Why it matters: The plural subject needs a plural verb, and enrich expresses the intended effect on soil.
- 4. Correct the collocation Original: habitats of a lot of animals Suggested revision: habitats for many animals Why it matters: Habitats for is the natural construction, and many is more formal.
- 5. Use a precise action Original: reform some regulations Suggested revision: strengthen relevant regulations Why it matters: Strengthen specifies how existing regulations should change.
- 6. Use the comparative Original: more strict Suggested revision: stricter Why it matters: The one-word comparative form of strict is stricter.
- 7. Use a natural term Original: the unauthorised chop down activities Suggested revision: unauthorised tree-cutting Why it matters: Tree-cutting is the concise noun phrase for this activity.
- 8. Remove the article Original: a huge damage Suggested revision: huge damage Why it matters: Damage is uncountable here and does not take a.
- 9. Correct number and emphasis Original: proper legislations are very vital Suggested revision: proper legislation is vital Why it matters: Legislation is uncountable, and vital already expresses strong importance.
- 10. Correct number and punctuation Original: In addition to legislations Suggested revision: In addition to legislation, Why it matters: Legislation is uncountable, and the introductory phrase needs a comma.
- 11. Repair the expression Original: slow down saw down of forests Suggested revision: slow the destruction of forests Why it matters: The original phrase uses an incorrect verb form and an unnatural construction.
- 12. Clarify the subject Original: Due to their benefit from the trade Suggested revision: Because people profit from the trade Why it matters: The revision removes the unclear pronoun and expresses the cause grammatically.
Suggested Rewrites
- provide us this most important element provide us with this essential element
- for our living for life
- encourages enrich
- habitats of a lot of animals habitats for many animals
- reform some regulations strengthen relevant regulations
- more strict stricter
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response proposes several relevant solutions, including stronger laws, public education, enforcement, alternative fuels, and substitute materials, and it shows clear concern for environmental consequences. However, development is uneven and frequent grammar and word-choice errors sometimes strain meaning; the priority is to organise two or three main solutions into separate paragraphs and explain clearly how each would reduce deforestation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Several relevant solutions are offered, but many are briefly stated, repeated, or only loosely explained in terms of their practical effect.
Choose the strongest solutions and develop each with an implementation method, responsible actor, and likely outcome.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall direction is understandable, but the very long first paragraph, uneven grouping, and mechanical connectors weaken progression.
Separate regulation, education, and alternative-resource measures into focused paragraphs with clear topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
There is enough environmental vocabulary to discuss the issue, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce clarity and precision.
Use established phrases such as illegal logging, public awareness campaigns, forest rangers, and become extinct.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some sentence variety is attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, clauses, and sentence construction cause regular difficulty.
Build shorter complete sentences first, checking subject-verb agreement and verb forms before combining clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.