Some people think that it is wrong for humans to search for new worlds in space when we have so many problems on our own planet. Others believe such searches help mankind to develop. Which viewpoint do you agree with?
Sample Response
Only a few percentages of people on earth are affluent while a majority of the world population is suffering from hunger, malnutrition, diseases, scarcity of housing, lack of pure drinking water and this list would go on and on. A group of people think that researching outer space is totally unjustified while people on earth have so many problems. On the contrary, the second group of people believe that outer world research is important for our own advancement. I agree with the second group of people who believe space research is necessary and justified. First and foremost, only a few developed countries like the USA, Australia, Japan, Russia and the UK spend money and resources for the space analysis. If they stop this exploration and research, they are not going to give this fund to poor countries to fight their housing, crime, diseases, and hunger issues. To put in other words, practically it is not possible to use the space research fund to solve pressing issues of all the countries. Furthermore, poor and developing nations should utilise their own resources to address their problems rather than taking donations or loans from rich nations. Another key thing to remember, space exploration is necessary to understand the universe and life on earth. This could open a whole new window of development. So far we have not been able to trace any intelligent species on other plant but who knows when we meet them what development and information they might share with us. IT might be the best next solution for the pressing issues we have on our small planet. We should not stop studying the universe we live in and concentrating on earthly issues is not a viable solution for the overall development of the mankind. In conclusion, space research is purely scientific works and can bring unimaginable development for us. Since only a few developed countries invest on space exploration and research, it should be carried on.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use an uncountable measure Original: a few percentages of people Suggested revision: a small percentage of people Why it matters: “Percentage” is singular when referring to one proportion of a population.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: pure Suggested revision: clean Why it matters: “Clean drinking water” is the conventional expression in this context.
- 3. Use concise wording Original: this list would go on and on Suggested revision: the list goes on Why it matters: The shorter expression is more direct and appropriately formal.
- 4. Use precise terminology Original: researching outer space Suggested revision: conducting space research Why it matters: “Conducting space research” is the natural phrase for scientific investigation.
- 5. Use the correct contrast Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: “By contrast” introduces the opposing group, whereas “on the contrary” directly refutes a preceding claim.
- 6. Use standard terminology Original: outer world research Suggested revision: space research Why it matters: “Space research” is the established term for the activity being discussed.
- 7. Improve the collocation Original: spend money and resources for the space analysis Suggested revision: devote money and resources to space research Why it matters: The verb pattern is “devote resources to,” and “space research” is more precise than “space analysis.”
- 8. Use the plural noun Original: give this fund Suggested revision: give these funds Why it matters: The reference is to money and resources collectively, so the plural noun is more appropriate.
- 9. Use a natural verb Original: fight their housing, crime, diseases, and hunger issues Suggested revision: address their housing, crime, disease, and hunger problems Why it matters: Problems are “addressed” rather than “fought,” and the revised list is more idiomatic.
- 10. Correct the linking phrase Original: To put in other words Suggested revision: In other words Why it matters: The standard reformulation marker is “in other words.”
- 11. Use precise phrasing Original: practically it is not possible Suggested revision: in practice, it is not possible Why it matters: “In practice” clearly distinguishes practical feasibility from theory.
- 12. Complete the clause opening Original: Another key thing to remember, Suggested revision: Another key point is that Why it matters: The original introductory phrase lacks a verb that can connect it grammatically to the clause.
Suggested Rewrites
- a few percentages of people a small percentage of people
- pure clean
- this list would go on and on the list goes on
- researching outer space conducting space research
- On the contrary By contrast
- outer world research space research
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay states a clear preference for continued space research and offers two relevant lines of support: national budgets would not automatically be redirected abroad, and exploration can expand human knowledge. Its main limitation is that the development case becomes highly speculative, especially the claim about intelligent life, while the one-paragraph structure and frequent language errors reduce clarity. Prioritise a concrete, evidence-based benefit such as satellite technology or medical innovation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A clear pro-exploration position is maintained and supported by relevant funding and development arguments, though the main development example is speculative.
Replace the hypothetical alien-contact point with a developed real-world benefit of space research, such as communications, climate monitoring, or materials science.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument has a broadly logical sequence and uses clear transitions, but the entire response is one paragraph and several points repeat the position.
Separate the introduction, funding argument, scientific-development argument, and conclusion into focused paragraphs with distinct functions.
Lexical Resource
The response shows adequate topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision despite generally clear meaning.
Use natural terms such as ‘a small percentage’, ‘safe drinking water’, ‘space research’, ‘research funding’, ‘another planet’, and ‘invest in’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of structures is attempted, but agreement, article, number, clause-linking, capitalization, and sentence-boundary errors occur frequently.
Correct forms such as ‘scientific work’, ‘a fund’, ‘on another planet’, and divide the long sentence joining study of the universe with earthly problems.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that it is wrong for humans to search for new worlds in space when we have so many problems on our own planet. Others believe such searches help mankind to develop. Which viewpoint do you agree with?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.