Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. - You should
Sample Response
Every four years, the whole world stops to watch international sporting events such as the Olympics and the Football World Cup in which athletes perform at their bestshow their best performance to make their countries proudmake their country proud of them. These sporting occasions have proved to be helpful in easing international tensions in difficult times when powerful leaders tryleaders were trying to control the world's economy and other governments fightother governments were fighting over land. The Olympic Games are one of the best examples ofone of the best examples which prove how sporting events can bring nations together, at least temporarily. From ancient History, when Greeks and Romans would interrupt battles to participate in the games, to the more recent international disputes, when athletes from Palestine and Israel would forget their differences, compete pacifically and even embrace each other after an event. Moreover, these popular events have drawncalled the world's attention to the terrible consequences of wars; thus some leaders have tried to reachaccept agreements to end their disputesdispute and live peacefully. Similarly, international sporting events benefit some developing countriesshow benefits in some developing countries which live in a ongoing internal conflictdaily internal civil war. For example, Brazil has high unemploymenta high rate of unemployment, lack of education, hunger, crime, poverty and corruption which leadleads to a profound sense of embarrassment about being Brazilianan immense embarrassment of being Brazilian and low self-esteema low self-esteem. However, when the Football World Cup starts, the Brazilian squad, which is considered the best team in the world, inspires an intense feeling of national prideprovokes an amazing feeling of pride in their country. Most people seem to forget all their problems and even criminal activitythe criminal activity decreases. They paint the roadspaint roads with the national colors, wearuse wear the Brazilian team shirt and buy national flags. Moreover, the competition brings families and neighbors together and even rival gangs watch the games and celebrate peacefully. In conclusion, popular sporting events play an important role in decreasing international tensions and releasingliberating patriotic feelings as History has shown.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response's strongest feature is its sustained, relevant explanation of how major sporting events can ease tensions and channel national pride, supported by historical and Brazilian examples. Its main limitation is that the presentation remains in one long block and several claims or expressions are imprecise. The highest-priority improvement is to separate the two central ideas into focused paragraphs and refine awkward wording while preserving the clear position.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response maintains a clear position and develops both international reconciliation and safe patriotic expression with relevant examples.
Make the supporting claims more measured and explicitly explain how each example proves the stated benefit.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a sensible sequence, but the absence of visible paragraph breaks weakens the organisation of a substantial response.
Use separate body paragraphs for international tensions and patriotic feeling, with each paragraph built around one controlling idea.
Lexical Resource
A varied topic-specific vocabulary conveys the argument effectively, although several collocations and word choices sound unnatural.
Replace awkward expressions such as references to peaceful competition and agreements with more idiomatic, precise alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a broad range of complex structures with generally clear control despite a fragment and several local agreement or form errors.
Proofread complex sentences for complete clause structure, subject-verb agreement, and accidental word duplication.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. - You should
Your response
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