Some people believe it is better for governments to spend any available money for sports on providing facilities for the general population. Others believe that instead, they should invest in training top athletes to win major competitions. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
The first opinion of the debate is to spending money on providing facilities for the commoners by the government while the second one argues that the investment should be for the top athletes only. This is a well-debated topic and deserves some attentions. In my opinion both the schools are correct in some senses and they have some reasons to believe so. Firstly, it should be considered that the number of ordinary people is considerably higher than the top athletes. So, they are in need of some sports facilities where they could have the chance of physical activities. In fact, we all are aware of the importance of physical activities and how they benefit us all. In my locality, there are no public parks available where the people can take some exercises in morning or evening hours. So, the number of patients with physical disorders like diabetes, obesity, heart disease etc. is on the rise in my locality here in Jakarta and the issue got covered on the local dailies as well. The government in a county should be more focused on improving the public health than winning some trophies. On the contrary, top athletes are assets for a nation. Their failure in any competition is the disgrace for the entire state. Unless they are trained in a perfect manner, they would be unable to participate in major competitions and bring the desired fame for the country. So, a proper training is a must for them. It would really be a humiliation when media will cover stories over their failures in international sporting events and if that happens for lack of government appreciation. Therefore, considering both the arguments, I think the government should make a balance between the two. Usually, physical activities make people fit and help to be an effective workforce. So, if the mass people turn physically inactive, an economic disaster is a must. Further, if the top athletes are ignored, it will be a disgrace for the nation. Hence, the I believe the government should pay attention in both the case equally.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use an uncountable noun Original: attentions Suggested revision: attention Why it matters: “Attention” is uncountable in this meaning and does not take a plural ending.
- 2. Complete the expression Original: both the schools Suggested revision: both schools of thought Why it matters: “Schools of thought” is the correct expression for two competing viewpoints.
- 3. Use natural phrasing Original: senses Suggested revision: respects Why it matters: “In some respects” is the natural phrase for partial agreement with each view.
- 4. Make the comparison parallel Original: than the top athletes Suggested revision: than the number of top athletes Why it matters: The sentence must compare the number of ordinary people with the number of top athletes.
- 5. Correct the collocation Original: chance of physical activities Suggested revision: chance to engage in physical activity Why it matters: The revised phrase uses the natural verb pattern and an appropriate uncountable form.
- 6. Correct word order Original: we all are aware Suggested revision: we are all aware Why it matters: With the verb “be,” the quantifier “all” normally follows the verb.
- 7. Use the correct verb Original: where the people can take some exercises Suggested revision: where people can exercise Why it matters: English uses “exercise” as a verb here, without “take” or the unnecessary article.
- 8. Add the article Original: in morning or evening hours Suggested revision: in the morning or evening Why it matters: These time expressions require “the” before “morning” and “evening.”
- 9. Correct voice and preposition Original: got covered on the local dailies Suggested revision: was covered in the local newspapers Why it matters: The passive form “was covered” and the preposition “in” are required for newspaper reporting.
- 10. Correct the word choice Original: county Suggested revision: country Why it matters: “Country” is intended here; “county” refers to a smaller administrative area.
- 11. Use the correct contrast Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: On the other hand Why it matters: The sentence introduces the second viewpoint rather than directly contradicting the previous statement.
- 12. Correct the article Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: “Disgrace” is a singular countable noun here and requires the indefinite article.
Suggested Rewrites
- attentions attention
- both the schools both schools of thought
- senses respects
- than the top athletes than the number of top athletes
- chance of physical activities chance to engage in physical activity
- we all are aware we are all aware
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its direct coverage of both spending priorities and its clear preference for a balanced allocation, with a relevant public-health example. Its main limitation is uneven control: the elite-athlete case relies on exaggerated assertions, and the single-block presentation weakens readability. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the argument into clear paragraphs and develop the second view through realistic explanation rather than repeated claims about national disgrace.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are discussed and a consistent balanced opinion is given, although the case for elite-athlete funding is less convincingly developed.
Support the elite-athlete view with a realistic benefit, such as participation, funding, or national sporting development, instead of relying mainly on disgrace.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a discernible sequence and uses clear linking expressions, but presenting the entire essay as one paragraph substantially weakens organisation.
Separate the introduction, each viewpoint, and the conclusion into purposeful paragraphs while reducing mechanical links such as repeated 'So'.
Lexical Resource
The response shows adequate range for public health and sport, but frequent awkward collocations and inappropriate choices reduce precision.
Use natural combinations such as 'exercise,' 'the general public,' and 'government support,' and avoid loaded terms such as 'commoners'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex forms communicates the argument clearly, though recurring errors in articles, agreement, complements, and conditionals limit control.
Prioritise correcting verb patterns and article use, then check complex conditional sentences for consistent tense and complete clause structure.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe it is better for governments to spend any available money for sports on providing facilities for the general population. Others believe that instead, they should invest in training top athletes to win major competitions. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.