A group of people say that increasing the number of sports facilities would ensure the improvement in public health. Others, however, disagree with this view and say that this would have very little effect on promoting public health and other initiatives should be taken. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
These days, people argue that providing the facilities for physical activity is the best option to enhance their fitness but other side claims that it has very little impact and also different point of views should be outweighed considering public health status. In this essay, I will discuss these views in detailelaborate the topic into several discussions underneath.
Nowadays, in their daily routine sedentary people is not include their working days and leisure time for physical activity. They tend to devote all their time toBecause they tend to use all their time to focus on important matters related to work, family and other responsibilitiesthe important thing related to their job, family and the other. A lack of time and facilitiesLacking time and facilities could discourage them from exercisingcould be the reason to alter their mood to conduct the sports session. But the situation will be differentthe condition not will be the same if sports facilities are widely availableseveral facilities are well-fulfilled in society. For example, the government can provide affordable access to parksbuild the cheap access to a park so people can reach them easilyso the people could easily reach them.
However, to focus on sports interests is not universal. Some people have already adaptedare already adapt their lifestyles to include exercisetheir lifestyle to exercise. So, promoting sports facilities would not greatly influence their behaviour. To participate in sportBecause to do sports activity, people should understand how to exercise properlysomeone should understand how to do in proper ways.
As well as physical activity, high taxeshigh tax penalties could be imposed on high-fat food products, tobacco and alcohol. The reason is reliance on their daily habitual, to do so, could decrease the consumer. This obviously will improve public-health statisticslead to influences statistics level on public health.
By way of conclusion, I think people should think differently and focus on sports. It should be understoodIt is should be understood that governments should also encourage people in several waysencourage people from many aspects.
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response recognises both the potential value and limitations of sports facilities and mentions taxation as an alternative health measure. However, its position is unclear, the arguments remain thin or confusing, and frequent language errors sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to recover. The highest-priority improvement is to state a direct opinion and build two clearly explained arguments—one about facility access and one about broader public-health initiatives.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response touches on both views and another initiative, but development is limited and the writer's final opinion is ambiguous.
State whether facilities alone are sufficient and support that judgement with clear reasons and concrete examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphs identify separate aspects of the topic, but progression is uneven and several links between claims and reasons are unclear.
Give each paragraph one topic sentence followed by a cause, an effect, and an example.
Lexical Resource
Some relevant health vocabulary appears, but frequent inaccurate word choices and collocations often obscure the message.
Use straightforward phrases such as accessible sports facilities, exercise habits, discourage consumption, and improve health outcomes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in sentence formation, agreement, word order, articles, and verb forms make several passages difficult to understand.
Write shorter complete sentences and verify that each has a clear subject and correctly formed verb.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
A group of people say that increasing the number of sports facilities would ensure the improvement in public health. Others, however, disagree with this view and say that this would have very little effect on promoting public health and other initiatives should be taken. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.