Many companies sponsor sports as a way of advertising themselves. Some people think this is good for the world of sport, while others think it is a negative. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Many believe that the influence of multinational companies on sports through sponsorship deals has a harmful effect. In my opinion, while advertising creates potential conflicts of interest, this a positive situation overall as it funds the sports industry.
The growing primacy of sponsorships in sports can be problematic when it precipitates an ethical dilemma. In recent years, many Middle Eastern corporate entities linked closely to governments with poor human rights records such as Saudi Arabia and Qatar have purchased and are now endorsed by major footballing leagues and teams. This raises the question of whether such leagues should accept morally bankrupt ownership. A similar example was seen in the NBA recently, which has signed various lucrative sponsorships with Chinese companies and was put in a difficult position when a league executive expressed support for the independence movement in Hong Kong. The league was forced to backtrack amid pressure of boycotts from China.
Nonetheless, advertising is a key part of the viewing experience fans have come to expect. The advertisements themselves are slightly annoying at best, but they allow leagues to make games widely available to watch and guarantees the salaries of the best players. Most games, whether it be football, basketball, tennis or another sport, can be viewed for free on major television networks or online. Advertising allows the distributors and owners to earn enough for this to be a viable option. Moreover, leagues do not operate in a vacuum. If one league banned all advertising, then players would simply switch to play somewhere else where salaries are higher. Advertising is therefore an unavoidable, crucial prerequisite to having the top players.
In conclusion, the fan benefits outweigh the pernicious impact of sponsorship deals in sport. It is regardless important for leagues to balance competing ethical, economic, and entertainment priorities.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add missing verb Original: this a positive situation Suggested revision: this is a positive situation Why it matters: The clause requires the linking verb 'is' after the subject.
- 2. Correct the collocation Original: amid pressure of boycotts Suggested revision: under pressure from threatened boycotts Why it matters: This phrasing expresses the source and nature of the pressure clearly.
- 3. Match the subject Original: guarantees Suggested revision: guarantee Why it matters: The plural subject 'they' requires the base-form verb 'guarantee'.
- 4. Remove redundancy Original: widely available to watch Suggested revision: widely available Why it matters: 'Available' already conveys that viewers can watch the games.
- 5. Clarify the construction Original: whether it be football, basketball, tennis or another sport Suggested revision: whether in football, basketball, tennis, or another sport Why it matters: The revised prepositional structure links the examples more naturally to 'games'.
- 6. Use natural phrasing Original: switch to play somewhere else Suggested revision: move elsewhere to play Why it matters: This is a more natural way to describe players changing leagues.
- 7. Improve the collocation Original: prerequisite to having the top players Suggested revision: prerequisite for attracting the top players Why it matters: 'Prerequisite for' combines more naturally with the intended outcome.
- 8. Use a clear transition Original: It is regardless important Suggested revision: Nevertheless, it is important Why it matters: 'Nevertheless' correctly signals the concluding qualification.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: In recent years, many Middle Eastern corporate entities linked closely to governments with poor human rights records such as Saudi Arabia and Qatar have purchased and are now endorsed by major footballing leagues and teams. Suggested revision: In recent years, major football leagues and teams have accepted sponsorship or ownership from Middle Eastern corporate entities closely linked to governments with poor human rights records, such as those of Saudi Arabia and Qatar. Why it matters: The rewrite fixes the unclear agent relationships and makes the examples modify the governments rather than their records.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: A similar example was seen in the NBA recently, which has signed various lucrative sponsorships with Chinese companies and was put in a difficult position when a league executive expressed support for the independence movement in Hong Kong. Suggested revision: A similar example can be seen in the NBA, which signed various lucrative sponsorship deals with Chinese companies and then faced a difficult situation when a league executive expressed support for the independence movement in Hong Kong. Why it matters: The rewrite aligns the verb sequence and makes the progression of events clearer.
- 11. Strengthen the progression Suggested revision: Link the revenue from sponsorship more explicitly to free access and player salaries so the benefits form one continuous chain of reasoning. Why it matters: The paragraph moves among viewing, distribution, and salaries without fully signalling how each point follows from the previous one.
Suggested Rewrites
- this a positive situation this is a positive situation
- amid pressure of boycotts under pressure from threatened boycotts
- guarantees guarantee
- widely available to watch widely available
- whether it be football, basketball, tennis or another sport whether in football, basketball, tennis, or another sport
- switch to play somewhere else move elsewhere to play
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is fluent, logically organised, and supported by a strong range of vocabulary and complex structures. Its main limitation is task precision: the negative case partly shifts from sponsorship to ownership and geopolitical controversy, while the positive case treats advertising more broadly than sports sponsorship. Make each example explicitly show how a sponsorship arrangement helps or harms sport, then connect it directly to the stated judgement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear opinion are presented, but parts of the discussion broaden from sports sponsorship into ownership and advertising generally.
Use examples that directly demonstrate the effects of sponsorship on sport and explicitly link each one to the relevant view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion with well-managed cohesion.
Refine a few transitions so the movement from individual examples to the paragraph's central claim is even more explicit.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide-ranging and precise overall, with sophisticated choices used naturally despite a few awkward collocations.
Replace expressions such as 'pressure of boycotts' and 'regardless important' with idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is controlled well, although occasional agreement and missing-word errors remain.
Proofread clause-level accuracy, especially omitted verbs and agreement in coordinated verb phrases.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many companies sponsor sports as a way of advertising themselves. Some people think this is good for the world of sport, while others think it is a negative. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.