In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays people store knowledge on the internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
In the past, various knowledge was stored in books, preserved over time. Recent times prove that the Internet has gradually substituted books for this purpose. Although storing information online has some drawbacks, I believe the upside of this trend outweighs the downside.
The Internet is advantageous as a major medium of knowledge from various perspectives. First and foremost, the existence of ebooks terminated people’s need to carry heaps of printed books around while also allowing easy access anytime, anywhere from their compact devices. Secondly, searching for information has never been easier with the enormous amount of knowledge available online. The search engine technology also allowed people to quickly find the information they needed with a few clicks of hand, a drastic improvement in comparison with the tedious activity of searching through paper books contents. The most obvious example of such a search engine would be Google. Wikipedia, on the other hand, is an example of an open-source encyclopedia that provides the expertise of all fields. The quality of information on websites, however, is still an unsolved problem as the number of viruses and fake news keeps on increasing.
In comparison, using printed books also has its own merits. Firstly, they’re easier on the eyes whereas electronic books can cause screen fatigue as our eyes are strained for a long period of time. Moreover, It is scientifically proven that people are less likely to get distracted while reading paper books, and thus absorb more information. Plus, with a print book, it’s easier to go back and confirm details you may be unsure of without losing your place and having to scroll back on your device. Many readers will also miss the feel of books that they can hold and touch and leaf through whenever they please.
All in all, the internet outweighs books as a means of knowledge storage. Even then, we should not ignore the benefits brought by paper books and continue to distribute knowledge by both means.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use uncountable noun Original: various knowledge Suggested revision: knowledge Why it matters: Knowledge is generally uncountable, so various is unsuitable here.
- 2. Use precise phrasing Original: Recent times prove Suggested revision: Recent developments show Why it matters: Developments can show a trend, whereas times cannot logically prove it.
- 3. Correct verb choice Original: substituted Suggested revision: replaced Why it matters: Replace directly expresses that the Internet has taken the former role of books.
- 4. Fix noun relationship Original: paper books contents Suggested revision: the contents of paper books Why it matters: The of-phrase correctly expresses the relationship between the contents and the books.
- 5. Clarify meaning Original: provides the expertise of all fields Suggested revision: provides information across many fields Why it matters: An encyclopedia provides information rather than the expertise of fields.
- 6. Match countability Original: the number of viruses and fake news Suggested revision: the number of viruses and the amount of fake news Why it matters: Number fits countable viruses, while amount fits uncountable fake news.
- 7. Fix capitalization Original: It Suggested revision: it Why it matters: The pronoun should not be capitalized after the introductory adverb and comma.
- 8. Standardize capitalization Original: internet Suggested revision: Internet Why it matters: Capitalizing Internet keeps the term consistent with its earlier uses in the response.
- 9. Make claim concise Original: advantageous as a major medium of knowledge from various perspectives Suggested revision: valuable as a major source of knowledge in several ways Why it matters: The revision expresses the same claim more directly and uses the natural source of knowledge collocation.
- 10. Remove unnecessary article Original: The search engine technology Suggested revision: Search-engine technology Why it matters: Technology is used generally here, so it does not need the definite article.
- 11. Keep present tense Original: allowed Suggested revision: allows Why it matters: The present tense matches the paragraph's discussion of a continuing general benefit.
- 12. Use concise comparison Original: drastic improvement in comparison with Suggested revision: drastic improvement over Why it matters: Improvement over states the comparison more concisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- various knowledge knowledge
- Recent times prove Recent developments show
- substituted replaced
- paper books contents the contents of paper books
- provides the expertise of all fields provides information across many fields
- the number of viruses and fake news the number of viruses and the amount of fake news
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear comparative position and develops both the convenience of online storage and the continuing merits of printed books with relevant explanation. Its main limitation is that some supporting claims are asserted rather than fully examined, while recurring awkward collocations reduce precision. The priority is to make the weighing more explicit and express each comparison in consistently natural, accurate language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained, and both advantages and disadvantages are addressed with relevant, generally developed support.
Make the comparative judgement explicit within the body by explaining why the online benefits carry greater weight than each drawback.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through focused paragraphs, with generally effective sequencing and referencing.
Use linking phrases more precisely, especially where an example is being added rather than contrasted.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic vocabulary conveys nuanced ideas, though several unnatural collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Replace awkward combinations such as references to clicks, expertise, and knowledge distribution with standard academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are generally controlled, and errors in articles, capitalization, and possessive forms rarely impede meaning.
Proofread noun phrases and sentence-level punctuation so complex comparisons remain consistently accurate.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays people store knowledge on the internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.