In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays, people store knowledge on the internet. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
These days, books have been superseded by the Internet when it comes to knowledge storage. In my opinion, the drawbacks of this trend are greater than its benefits.
On the one hand, storing knowledge on the Internet is greatly beneficial. To begin with, the Internet allows people to access knowledge from an immense number of sources. With the help of search engines like Google or Firefox, internet users can explore content on various topics with a couple of mouse clicks. Therefore, they can get access to information immediately anywhere, which is cheaper, much more convenient and time-saving compared to looking for the same amount of knowledge from printed books. In addition, knowledge on the Internet is stored in different formats, which helps learners absorb the information more effectively. Unlike books, which present information in the form of texts or images only, the Internet provides learners with knowledge in both texts and digital forms like audio or videos. Auditory learners, for example, would find learning via podcasts, which are common on many websites, more useful than reading books.
On the other hand, I believe that storing knowledge on the Internet brings about more significant disadvantages. First, the reliability of information on the web is not guaranteed. Since anything can be posted on the Internet without verification, there are many unreliable sources which deliver inaccurate knowledge, making it hard for an average user to differentiate between true and false information. Moreover, digital piracy is another problem when it comes to online knowledge storage. The Internet has paved the way for the boom in copyright infringements in the last decade. Tons of websites are distributing pirated, free electronic books to increase their web traffic, which can help them earn money from running online advertisements. Such illegal distribution is difficult to control and causes the publishing industry to lose millions of dollars every year.
In conclusion, I believe that the advantages of storing knowledge online are outweighed by its drawbacks.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Improve the collocation Original: greatly Suggested revision: highly Why it matters: “Highly beneficial” is the more natural intensifier-adjective combination.
- 2. Use precise phrasing Original: an immense number of sources Suggested revision: a vast range of sources Why it matters: “A vast range” better emphasizes the variety of available sources.
- 3. Make wording concise Original: in the form of texts or images only Suggested revision: only as text or images Why it matters: The revision expresses the same contrast more concisely and uses uncountable “text” for the medium.
- 4. Clarify format categories Original: both texts and digital forms like audio or videos Suggested revision: multiple formats, including text, images, audio, and video Why it matters: The original mixes text with digital formats and uses “both” for a list containing more than two forms.
- 5. Use direct wording Original: brings about more significant disadvantages Suggested revision: has more significant disadvantages Why it matters: The simpler verb states the comparison more naturally.
- 6. Fix the collocation Original: sources which deliver inaccurate knowledge Suggested revision: sources that provide inaccurate information Why it matters: Sources provide information; they do not normally “deliver knowledge.”
- 7. Refine the collocation Original: the boom in copyright infringements Suggested revision: a surge in copyright infringement Why it matters: “A surge in copyright infringement” is more natural and concise in formal writing.
- 8. Use a formal quantifier Original: Tons of websites Suggested revision: Many websites Why it matters: “Tons of” is informal for an academic essay.
- 9. Clarify modifier order Original: pirated, free electronic books Suggested revision: pirated electronic books for free Why it matters: The revision makes clear that the books are pirated and distributed without charge.
- 10. Use precise wording Original: running Suggested revision: displaying Why it matters: Websites normally “display” advertisements, making this verb more precise.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: Therefore, they can get access to information immediately anywhere, which is cheaper, much more convenient and time-saving compared to looking for the same amount of knowledge from printed books. Suggested revision: Therefore, they can access information immediately from anywhere, making this method cheaper, more convenient, and less time-consuming than finding the same amount of information in printed books. Why it matters: The original has awkward word order and an unclear relative clause whose antecedent is not explicit.
Suggested Rewrites
- greatly highly
- an immense number of sources a vast range of sources
- in the form of texts or images only only as text or images
- both texts and digital forms like audio or videos multiple formats, including text, images, audio, and video
- brings about more significant disadvantages has more significant disadvantages
- sources which deliver inaccurate knowledge sources that provide inaccurate information
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear comparative judgement and develops both benefits and drawbacks through specific, logically connected explanations. Its main limitation is occasional imprecision, such as treating Firefox as a search engine and describing online formats somewhat awkwardly, which weakens an otherwise authoritative discussion. Verify examples and sharpen a few lexical choices so that every supporting detail is accurate and precisely expressed.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the comparative question directly, maintains a clear position, and develops both sides with relevant support.
Check the factual accuracy of supporting examples so that every detail strengthens rather than distracts from the comparison.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses clearly through a conventional but effective structure, with cohesive devices used smoothly and paragraphs well focused.
Make the final conclusion slightly more substantive by briefly synthesising why reliability and piracy outweigh convenience and format variety.
Lexical Resource
A broad and mostly precise vocabulary supports detailed discussion, although a few choices such as texts and digital forms are imprecise or awkward.
Use sharper distinctions such as written, audio, and video formats, and verify technical labels such as browser and search engine.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are varied and well controlled, with the great majority of clauses and punctuation handled accurately.
Polish occasional reference and comparison structures to make already accurate sentences even more concise and natural.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays, people store knowledge on the internet. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.