You should complete the task within 40 minutes. Many problems in schools are aroused by the attitudes of students. Where do these problems come from? What should we do to change the situation?
Sample Response
School violence has become very prominentbecomes very protrusive in many countries, and much of it is attributed to students' attitudesmost of which are caused by the attitudes of students. Some governments and authoritiesthe authorities show great concernconcerns about the problems. From my point of view, these problems arise fromare aroused by three factors:three factors, the development of society, the influence of families and the mediathe influence of family and media and the weakness of school education. The rapid development of societythe society offers more opportunities for young studentsthe young students to engage with the wider worldcontact the outside world. Due to the lack of social experience, some youngsters are not capable of distinguishing right from wrong. Curiosity drives them to imitatedrives them into imitating what they see on TV or from the people around them. Therefore, it is easy for them to be addicted to alcohol, cigarettessmoking and drugs. Some students even smoke and take drugs at school. Family violence is another major factor causing problems in schools. Family violence hurtshurt children both physically and psychologically. Physically, family violence will hurt their developing bodiestheir tender body because children are still in the stage of development. Psychologically, physical punishment will hurt children's self-confidence and make them prone to violencemake them have a tendency of violence. Recently, school shootingsgunshots have frequently made headlineshit the headlines frequently, which should partly be attributed to family violencethe family violence. Finally, the weakness of school education is another factor causing school problems. Some schools only emphasise students' academic achievementsstress students' achievements in their study, neglecting their moral education. Therefore, even some top students are apt to turn to crimestride on the criminal road. To solve these problems, I think we should take the following measures. Firstly, schools should strengthen students' moral education, giving them correct directions and cultivating their ability to tell right from wrong. Secondly, parents should spare some time to communicate with their children, resolving difficulties and troubles for them timely. If the school and family can join hands in solving these problems, I think the students will develop healthily and the environment in schools will become much clearer.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s strongest feature is its clear identification and explanation of several plausible causes, followed by relevant measures involving schools and parents. Its main limitation is uneven development: the discussion narrows the broad issue to school violence, while the proposed solutions are brief and do not fully address every cause raised. Prioritise developing each remedy with a specific explanation of how it would change students’ attitudes and reduce the identified problems.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both causes and remedies, with several relevant causes explained, although the solutions are less fully developed and the broad problem is largely narrowed to violence.
Develop each proposed measure and link it directly to every major cause, rather than treating school violence as the whole issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas progress clearly from causes to solutions and signposting is generally effective, but the single unbroken paragraph weakens logical grouping and some links feel mechanical.
Divide the response into purposeful paragraphs for distinct causes, solutions, and the conclusion, while using cohesive devices more selectively.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficiently varied to discuss social, family, and educational causes, but frequent awkward collocations and imprecise choices reduce naturalness and precision.
Replace unnatural phrases such as “protrusive,” “tender body,” and “stride on the criminal road” with precise, conventional academic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a mix of simple and complex structures, but recurring errors with agreement, articles, plurals, and clause construction prevent consistently accurate control.
Edit systematically for subject–verb agreement and article use, then simplify complex sentences whose structure is not fully controlled.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
You should complete the task within 40 minutes. Many problems in schools are aroused by the attitudes of students. Where do these problems come from? What should we do to change the situation?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.