Many schools face severe problems with student behaviour and day by day this is getting even worse. What do you think are the reasons for this problem? What can be done to solve it? Give your own opinion on the issue. Use your own experience or an example to support your idea.
Sample Response
In most countries, lack of proper student behaviour is causing us some severe problems. Mainly this type of anarchy will only occur where lack of support, camaraderie and attention exist.
To start with, in today's world, most parents are busy with their jobs or businesses. Most probably they do not have enough time to spend with their children. Furthermore, they become unable to provide good manner and habits to their offspring. Thus, children get attracted to television and computer, where both good and nasty things are shown. Even in this case, their parents are not around them to provide some parental guidance about conscience. So as a consequence, children may end up watching everything which is broadcasted over the television. Another reason for such chaotic behaviour among students is, lack of training between teachers dealing with children from diverse backgrounds. In the same phase, the way teacher reacts aggressively to student's flaws which may light a dark spark in them to become a rebel in future
In order to cope with these negative repercussions, government, schools and parents need to join collaboratively. Firstly, despite the intense and severe load of work, parents need to take some time from their hectic schedule to accompany their children. Secondly, no matter what a student must be either at home or in school. Teachers should be more responsible for students and keep them under critical scrutiny for the purpose of their well-being. It is significant for a teacher to be in touch with the parents to keep them on the right track. Thirdly, governments have to work out a strategy to keep young and immature students out from inapt issues.
In conclusion, I would maintain that there are both reasons and solutions with which we can solve the problem of aggravated student's behaviour. In my opinion, I strongly believe that each individual or community should take their duty more seriously to nullify this phenomenon.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Natural problem label Original: lack of proper student behaviour Suggested revision: poor student behaviour Why it matters: The concise phrase is more idiomatic.
- 2. Avoid exaggeration Original: this type of anarchy Suggested revision: such behaviour Why it matters: Anarchy greatly overstates ordinary school misconduct.
- 3. Agreement and article Original: where lack of support, camaraderie and attention exist Suggested revision: where a lack of support, belonging, and attention exists Why it matters: The head noun lack is singular and requires an article.
- 4. Parenting collocation Original: provide good manner and habits Suggested revision: teach good manners and habits Why it matters: Parents teach manners; manner should be plural here.
- 5. Plural general noun Original: television and computer Suggested revision: television and computers Why it matters: Computer is a count noun used generally, so it should be plural.
- 6. Academic contrast Original: good and nasty things Suggested revision: positive and harmful content Why it matters: The replacement is more precise and formal.
- 7. Clear moral guidance Original: guidance about conscience Suggested revision: guidance about right and wrong Why it matters: Conscience is not something parents give guidance about in this phrasing.
- 8. Verb and preposition Original: everything which is broadcasted over the television Suggested revision: everything that is broadcast on television Why it matters: Broadcast is unchanged in the past participle, and on television is idiomatic.
- 9. Remove incorrect comma Original: reason for such chaotic behaviour among students is, Suggested revision: reason for such behaviour among students is Why it matters: A comma must not separate the complement from is.
- 10. Correct relationship Original: lack of training between teachers Suggested revision: lack of training for teachers Why it matters: Training is provided for teachers, not between them.
- 11. Logical transition Original: In the same phase Suggested revision: Similarly Why it matters: The original transition is not idiomatic.
- 12. Article and agreement Original: the way teacher reacts aggressively Suggested revision: the way a teacher reacts aggressively Why it matters: A singular count noun requires an article.
Suggested Rewrites
- lack of proper student behaviour poor student behaviour
- this type of anarchy such behaviour
- where lack of support, camaraderie and attention exist where a lack of support, belonging, and attention exists
- provide good manner and habits teach good manners and habits
- television and computer television and computers
- good and nasty things positive and harmful content
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay identifies relevant causes of poor student behaviour, particularly limited parental attention, harmful media exposure, and insufficient teacher preparation, and it proposes shared action by families, schools, and government. However, several solutions remain vague or excessively controlling, and no concrete personal example supports the opinion as requested. Develop feasible interventions such as parent-school communication, teacher training, counselling, and clear behaviour policies, supported by one specific example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The task is addressed with relevant ideas, though development and precision are uneven.
Develop each main point with a specific explanation or consequence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is generally organized, though some progression and paragraph focus need improvement.
Give each paragraph one clear controlling purpose.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient for the task, but inaccurate collocations and word choices recur.
Prefer precise, natural topic vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains clear overall, but recurring sentence-level errors reduce accuracy.
Proofread agreement, articles, prepositions, and clause structure.