Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

Same questionCompare 3 different answers (Band 7–9)

Sample Response

1

It is undeniable that human actionshuman's deeds are harming the environment. This essay will discuss how the damage is caused, as well as the actions the governmentGovernment and individuals can take to protect our world. There are some ways in which people damagecontaminate the environment. People worsen air pollution by usingmaking cars as their primary mode of transportation. After all, the more cars are driven, the more carbon dioxide is produced. Factories are also the major sources of pollutionmain perpetrators of pollution by producing so much waste. In addition, there are individuals who dump rubbish in inappropriate places, such as the river. Unfortunately, their reckless actions make the river a toxic place to live for fish and other river inhabitants, eventually killingkill them. the government can addressThe Government can solve environmental problems with a number of actions. One of them is to implement a pollution threshold for factories. If a company produces more pollution than the permitted threshold, it will be fined. Therefore, industrial companies would take necessary measures to reduce their waste. Another way is to improve public transporttransportations. Reliable, clean, and safe mass transittransports will encourage people to use them, instead of using private cars. Apart from the Government, individuals, too, can take partindividuals too can partake in protecting the environment. Firstly, individuals can reduce household waste. For instance, people can use cloth bagscloth-made-bags instead of plastic bagsplastic-made-bags when shopping. After all, plastic cannot decompose easilycan not be decomposed and its build up will harm the Earth. Secondly, people should use more public transportation and if possible, walk more. That way, pollution that comes from vehicles can be minimised. In conclusion, people damage the environment with the high usage of private cars and industrial waste, and also by throwing rubbish irresponsibly. the Government can solve these problems by implementing waste limitslimit and enhancing public transport system. Individuals can also help by lessening their household waste and travelling by public transporttravelling by mass transports and walking.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response addresses every part of the task with relevant, practical examples and a logical sequence from environmental damage to government and individual action. Its main limitation is that several ideas are only briefly explained, and the single-paragraph presentation makes the organisation less visible. Develop each major solution by explaining how it reduces harm, and separate the stages of the argument into clear paragraphs.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

7.0
Scoring rule

The response covers all three parts of the task: types of environmental damage, government action and individual action. Ideas are relevant and practical, though some points could be developed in more depth.

Next step

For a higher band, extend each main point with one more sentence explaining the environmental consequence or the mechanism behind the solution.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Scoring rule

The essay progresses logically through causes, government measures and individual measures. Because it is written as one long paragraph, the structure is less visible than it should be.

Next step

Use four paragraphs: introduction, human damage, government action, individual action and conclusion, or combine the short conclusion with the final action paragraph.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Scoring rule

Vocabulary is clear and topic-related, with effective words such as "threshold", "reckless" and "minimised". There are still collocation and word-form errors such as "public transportations" and "mass transports".

Next step

Use standard environmental collocations: "public transport", "household waste", "emissions limits", "reusable cloth bags" and "decompose".

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5
Scoring rule

The candidate uses a mix of simple and complex sentences and generally controls meaning. Errors with articles, capitalisation, plurals and verb forms occur but rarely block comprehension.

Next step

Focus editing on plural/uncountable nouns and sentence-final verb forms, especially after participle phrases.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

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