In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard on their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Sample Response
There is no doubt that having some leisure time during studying reenergizes the brain to continue working efficiently. However, students in some countries are under extreme pressure to study hard and therefore, they have minimal leisure time. The possible reasons for this trend as well as suggested solutions will be discussed in details.
One possible reason for students to face a lot of pressure to work hard on their education with no time off would be the high cost of education. For instance, expensive courses put a financial burden on families and students which forces the students to try hard to complete these courses successfully and quickly. As a result, these students ignore the need for some spare time and focus on their study work. Another possible reason would be the amount of study materials which is becoming extensive for a short semester. Consequently, this pressure leaves no choice for students except to study as hard as possible to be able to finish this material on time. Thus, it is obvious that these students have no time left to have some leisure activities.
However, some solutions could be suggested to help solve this problem. One possible solution would be reducing the cost of educational courses in these countries by government fundings. By doing this, both the students and their families would have less financial pressure and therefore the students could be less stressed during their studies which might enable them to have some free time. Another solution would be study groups, if students study in groups, then each one of the group members could summarize part of the curriculum and shares it with the rest of the group. This would save a lot of time for all of the students in the group and as a result the amount of pressure would be reduced. These suggestions could help the students to have some leisure time which is important for them to stay focused.
In conclusion, there are many reasons that put the students in some countries under stress and pressure to study hard and leave them no time for leisure activities, however, the above suggested solutions could tackle this problem and allow the students to have some study free time which is essential for them to recharge their energy.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix time clause Original: during Suggested revision: while Why it matters: A finite time clause is required to express what students do during this period.
- 2. Use singular expression Original: details Suggested revision: detail Why it matters: The fixed expression is 'in detail', with the noun in the singular.
- 3. Simplify clause pattern Original: reason for students to face Suggested revision: reason students face Why it matters: The shorter noun-clause structure is more natural in this context.
- 4. Improve collocation Original: work hard on their education Suggested revision: work hard at their studies Why it matters: Students normally work hard 'at their studies' rather than 'on their education'.
- 5. Use natural noun Original: study work Suggested revision: studies Why it matters: 'Study work' is not a natural collocation for a student's academic activity.
- 6. Improve quantity phrase Original: amount of study materials Suggested revision: volume of study material Why it matters: This phrasing handles the quantity of material more naturally.
- 7. Choose correct adjective Original: extensive Suggested revision: excessive Why it matters: 'Excessive' means too great, whereas 'extensive' mainly means broad in scope.
- 8. Use correct preposition Original: for Suggested revision: within Why it matters: 'Within' correctly expresses the limited period available for completing the material.
- 9. Fix choice construction Original: leaves no choice for students except to study Suggested revision: leaves students no choice but to study Why it matters: The standard construction is 'leave someone no choice but to do something'.
- 10. Use study collocation Original: finish Suggested revision: cover Why it matters: Students generally 'cover' course material rather than 'finish' it.
- 11. Fix activity collocation Original: to have some leisure activities Suggested revision: to take part in leisure activities Why it matters: People take part in activities rather than 'have' them in this context.
- 12. Fix solution structure Original: would be reducing Suggested revision: would be to reduce Why it matters: The complement after 'solution would be' requires the infinitive construction here.
Suggested Rewrites
- during while
- details detail
- reason for students to face reason students face
- work hard on their education work hard at their studies
- study work studies
- amount of study materials volume of study material
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response has a clear cause-and-solution structure, develops two ideas for each part, and maintains an easy-to-follow line of argument. Its main limitation is that the link between expensive education and reduced leisure time is not fully convincing, while recurring collocation, agreement, and sentence-boundary errors weaken precision. The highest-priority improvement is to strengthen causal reasoning and edit complex sentences for cleaner grammatical control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both causes and solutions with relevant explanation, although the first causal argument is only partly convincing.
Explain more plausibly how each cause directly creates study pressure and connect each solution to that precise mechanism.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and overall progression are clear, though cohesive markers are sometimes mechanical and a few long sentences blur relationships.
Use fewer formulaic transitions and separate or subordinate linked clauses so the logical connections remain crisp.
Lexical Resource
The response shows adequate range for the topic, but recurring awkward collocations and word-form errors reduce precision.
Correct combinations such as in detail, government funding, extensive course material, and study-free time, and check countability carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex forms communicates meaning clearly, but agreement errors and comma splices recur across the response.
Focus on subject-verb agreement and use full stops or accurate subordination instead of joining independent clauses with commas.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard on their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.