More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in a foreign country. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks?
Sample Response
Nowadays, more students choose to study abroad than ever before. While there are good benefits in studying in a foreign country, I believe that the drawbacks outweigh the positive impacts this trend has. On the one hand, there are many benefits of studying abroad. Firstly, overseas students become more independent by living alone in foreign country. For instance, they are responsible for cleaning, cooking, and paying bills. Secondly, moving to other countries can broaden students’ horizons. They get exposed to different cultures and customs and gain knowledge about them. Also, overseas students learn foreign languages to cope with the new culture they involved in. Finally, foreign institutions offer better courses for students.The qualification gained open the door to get better job opportunities with high salaries. On the other hand, I would argue that studying abroad has more negative impacts than the positive one. One problem is that it can affect students psychologically. Studying alone in an unfamiliar culture can lead to homesickness or even depression. Also, this different culture may lead to culture shock which may affect the student’s performance. Another drawback of studying overseas is that students can experience some problems with paperwork like visa permit and may struggle to find suitable accommodation and paying their bills. This may add more pressure on the students and interrupt their studying. Furthermore, the language barrier may exacerbate the situation. Studying in a foreign language is a difficult task to many students and if they failed to master the language and communication skill, this may lead to the isolation from the community and might cause a failure in studying. In conclusion, the drawback of studying abroad outweighs the benefit and this decision needs more assessment from the students.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix benefit collocation Original: good benefits in studying Suggested revision: clear benefits to studying Why it matters: Benefits are described as “clear” and linked to an activity with “to”, not “in”.
- 2. Use concise effect phrase Original: positive impacts this trend has Suggested revision: positive effects of this trend Why it matters: The revised noun phrase expresses the same idea more directly and naturally.
- 3. Add missing article Original: in foreign country Suggested revision: in a foreign country Why it matters: The singular count noun “country” requires an article.
- 4. Fix adaptation clause Original: cope with the new culture they involved in Suggested revision: adapt to the new culture in which they are immersed Why it matters: The revision supplies the missing verb and uses the natural collocation for adjusting to a culture.
- 5. Insert sentence space Original: students. Suggested revision: students. Why it matters: A space is required after the full stop before the next sentence.
- 6. Use plural qualification Original: The qualification gained Suggested revision: The qualifications gained Why it matters: The general claim needs a plural noun so it agrees with the following verb “open”.
- 7. Fix door-to pattern Original: open the door to get better job opportunities Suggested revision: open the door to better job opportunities Why it matters: In this expression, “to” is a preposition followed directly by a noun phrase.
- 8. Fix comparison number Original: more negative impacts than the positive one Suggested revision: more negative effects than positive ones Why it matters: The plural negative effects must be compared with the plural pronoun “ones”.
- 9. Use clear culture reference Original: this different culture Suggested revision: this unfamiliar culture Why it matters: “Unfamiliar” expresses the relevant quality more precisely than the vague adjective “different”.
- 10. Use plural possessive Original: the student’s performance Suggested revision: students’ performance Why it matters: The general statement concerns overseas students collectively, so the possessive should be plural.
- 11. Use plural example Original: paperwork like visa permit Suggested revision: paperwork such as visa permits Why it matters: “Such as” formally introduces the example, and the countable permit should be plural in a general claim.
- 12. Make verbs parallel Original: to find suitable accommodation and paying their bills Suggested revision: to find suitable accommodation and pay their bills Why it matters: The coordinated verbs after “struggle” must share the infinitive form.
Suggested Rewrites
- good benefits in studying clear benefits to studying
- positive impacts this trend has positive effects of this trend
- in foreign country in a foreign country
- cope with the new culture they involved in adapt to the new culture in which they are immersed
- students. students.
- The qualification gained The qualifications gained
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear judgement and develops a broad range of relevant benefits and drawbacks, with the psychological, administrative, and language difficulties receiving the strongest explanation. Its main weaknesses are the single-paragraph presentation and recurrent grammatical and collocational errors, while the comparative weighting remains more asserted than demonstrated. Prioritise separating the two sides into distinct paragraphs and explaining why the negative effects are more severe or less manageable than the benefits.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both sides are addressed with relevant development and a consistent position, but the reasons that the drawbacks outweigh the benefits are not compared explicitly enough.
Compare the duration, severity, and manageability of the strongest benefit and drawback before reaching the final judgement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a clear benefits-to-drawbacks sequence with useful signposting, but the entire response is one paragraph and some ideas become crowded.
Use separate introduction, benefits, drawbacks, and conclusion paragraphs, with one central theme in each body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for independence, culture, education, and psychological pressure, though frequent awkward collocations and word-form choices reduce precision.
Use natural phrases such as live independently, adapt to a new culture, earn a recognised qualification, visa requirements, and academic isolation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence structures conveys the argument, but agreement, article, infinitive, parallelism, tense, and punctuation errors recur frequently.
Check noun-verb agreement and parallel structures, especially in sentences listing benefits, practical problems, and possible consequences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in a foreign country. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.