Nowadays many students have the opportunity to study for part or all of their courses in foreign countries. While studying abroad brings many benefits to individual students, it also has a number of disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
In the recent years, there has been a vast increase in the number of students going abroad to pursue their studies. While studying abroad appears to be an appealing option for many, it is argued that studying abroad does not come without a number of drawbacks. Apropos of the statement, I am in consummate accord with it. One of the advantages of studying abroad is that students will be allowed to learn to live independently as family and relatives are far away and will not be available to aid and abet them if problems arise. Thus, they will learn to settle the problems by themselves while at the same time growing as an independent individual. Furthermore, students studying abroad will be constantly exposed to a second language and hence, will be proficient in the language if given enough time. Also, it might serve as a useful ability for prospective careers in their future. However, some disadvantages that stem from studying abroad are not to be overlooked. For instance, without a grant of scholarship, students of less affluent families might deem the living cost and school fee too expensive comparing to studying in one’s local universities. Moreover, students who are not serious about pursuing their studies and are only interested in the excitement living abroad can offer them will have put in their money and invested their time ineffectively and fruitlessly. To conclude, I believe that studying abroad doesn't come without drawbacks. However, with enough effort put in and serious commitment, it will bring many benefits to individual students.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Article error Original: In the recent years Suggested revision: In recent years Why it matters: No article is needed in this time expression.
- 2. Over-formal phrase Original: Apropos of the statement Suggested revision: Regarding this statement Why it matters: 'Apropos' sounds unnatural in this essay and may be misused.
- 3. Unnatural opinion phrase Original: I am in consummate accord with it Suggested revision: I agree with it Why it matters: The original is overly ornate and not idiomatic.
- 4. Concise verb phrase Original: will be allowed to learn to live independently Suggested revision: can learn to live independently Why it matters: This is more direct and natural.
- 5. Avoid repetition Original: family and relatives Suggested revision: family members Why it matters: 'Family' and 'relatives' overlap in meaning.
- 6. Wrong legal idiom Original: aid and abet them Suggested revision: support them Why it matters: 'Aid and abet' usually means help someone commit a crime.
- 7. Wrong collocation Original: settle the problems Suggested revision: solve problems Why it matters: People usually 'solve' problems; 'settle' is used for disputes or bills.
- 8. Parallel verb form Original: at the same time growing Suggested revision: at the same time grow Why it matters: This keeps the verb form parallel with 'learn'.
- 9. Comma placement Original: will be constantly exposed to a second language and hence, will be proficient Suggested revision: will be constantly exposed to a second language and, hence, will become proficient Why it matters: The adverb needs clearer punctuation, and 'become' shows development over time.
- 10. Wrong noun choice Original: serve as a useful ability Suggested revision: be a useful skill Why it matters: Language proficiency is a skill, not something that 'serves as an ability'.
- 11. Natural phrase Original: without a grant of scholarship Suggested revision: without a scholarship Why it matters: The shorter phrase is standard.
- 12. Plural noun Original: school fee Suggested revision: tuition fees Why it matters: This is the natural phrase for university costs.
Suggested Rewrites
- In the recent years In recent years
- Apropos of the statement Regarding this statement
- I am in consummate accord with it I agree with it
- will be allowed to learn to live independently can learn to live independently
- family and relatives family members
- aid and abet them support them
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay addresses both benefits and drawbacks and gives a final view, but the position is not fully aligned with the agree/disagree wording. Development is quite brief, especially for disadvantages, and examples are general.
State clearly whether you agree that studying abroad has disadvantages, then explain whether the benefits outweigh them or not.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has logical sequencing, but it is written as one paragraph and relies on simple transitions. This reduces clarity even though the ideas are mostly connected.
Use four paragraphs and make the contrast between benefits and disadvantages visually clear.
Lexical Resource
There is some higher-level vocabulary, but several choices are unnatural or over-formal, such as 'Apropos', 'consummate accord', and 'aid and abet'. Word choice sometimes distracts from meaning.
Use accurate academic phrasing over memorised expressions: 'I agree with this view', 'support them', 'solve problems', and 'living abroad'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence control is generally adequate, but long sentences contain clause and preposition errors. Meaning is usually clear, with some awkward patterns around comparison and relative clauses.
Shorten long sentences and check verb patterns after 'learn to', 'serve as', and 'compared with'.