Some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Whether children should be required to study all subjects in school or focus solely on those they excel at or find intriguing is a matter of ongoing debate. This essay will explore both perspectives and provide reasons in favour of allowing young learners to study subjects that they feel passionate about or are good at.
On the one hand, proponents of a comprehensive curriculum argue that exposing children to a wide range of subjects is essential for their intellectual development and future success. They contend that a well-rounded education equips students with a broad skill set and knowledge base, enabling them to adapt to various challenges and opportunities in the future. For instance, a student who excels in mathematics but neglects humanities may miss out on valuable critical thinking and communication skills that are crucial in many professions.
Conversely, there is a valid argument for allowing students to concentrate on subjects of personal interest or aptitude. Tailoring the curriculum to individual preferences can foster a deeper passion for learning and result in higher academic achievement. When students are genuinely engaged in a subject, they are more likely to excel and pursue related careers. For example, a student with a natural talent for music who is permitted to specialize in this area may become a virtuoso musician, enriching their own life and the cultural landscape.
In my opinion, it is more advantageous for children to focus primarily on subjects they excel in or have a keen interest in. This approach not only fosters a sense of enthusiasm for learning but also allows students to develop their unique talents and strengths more effectively.
In conclusion, children should predominantly study subjects in which they excel or have a genuine passion. This tailored approach to education can significantly enhance their learning experience, motivation, and overall academic and personal development.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Strengthen parallel structure Original: those they excel at or find intriguing Suggested revision: subjects at which they excel or which they find intriguing Why it matters: Repeating the relative structure makes the two alternatives more formally parallel.
- 2. Make phrasing more concise Original: provide reasons in favour of allowing Suggested revision: explain the case for allowing Why it matters: The revision states the essay's purpose more directly and economically.
- 3. Avoid nearby repetition Original: future success Suggested revision: later success Why it matters: Later avoids repeating future in the following sentence while preserving the time reference.
- 4. Improve verb collocation Original: adapt to various challenges and opportunities Suggested revision: respond to various challenges and opportunities Why it matters: Respond to works naturally with both challenges and opportunities, whereas adapt to is less suitable for opportunities.
- 5. Remove repeated time reference Original: in the future Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The preceding sentence has already established that these benefits concern students' future.
- 6. Add subject article Original: neglects humanities Suggested revision: neglects the humanities Why it matters: Humanities normally takes the definite article when referring to the field of study.
- 7. Clarify student connection Original: subjects of personal interest or aptitude Suggested revision: subjects that match their interests or aptitudes Why it matters: The revision makes the relationship between each student and the relevant subjects explicit.
- 8. Use natural intensity word Original: foster a deeper passion for learning Suggested revision: foster a stronger passion for learning Why it matters: Stronger is the more natural adjective for describing the intensity of passion.
- 9. Improve grammatical parallelism Original: subjects they excel in or have a keen interest in Suggested revision: subjects in which they excel or take a keen interest Why it matters: The revision gives both alternatives clear, parallel verb structures.
- 10. Remove unnecessary wording Original: a sense of enthusiasm Suggested revision: enthusiasm Why it matters: Enthusiasm alone conveys the same meaning more concisely.
- 11. Complete parallel prepositions Original: subjects in which they excel or have a genuine passion Suggested revision: subjects in which they excel or for which they have a genuine passion Why it matters: Have a passion requires for, so the second relative clause needs its own preposition.
Suggested Rewrites
- those they excel at or find intriguing subjects at which they excel or which they find intriguing
- provide reasons in favour of allowing explain the case for allowing
- future success later success
- adapt to various challenges and opportunities respond to various challenges and opportunities
- in the future Delete
- neglects humanities neglects the humanities
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response addresses both perspectives with a consistently clear preference, and its strongest feature is the controlled, logical development of relevant examples. Its main limitation is that the case for specialization is somewhat idealized and the final two paragraphs repeat the position more than they extend it. The highest-priority improvement is to explore practical limits or risks of early specialization and then qualify the recommendation accordingly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both views and a clear personal position are directly addressed with relevant, well-supported ideas.
Develop the preferred view more critically by acknowledging practical risks or limits of allowing early specialization.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used naturally and effectively.
Avoid using separate opinion and conclusion paragraphs that largely repeat the same claim.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary conveys educational arguments fluently, with only occasional conventional phrasing.
Use more nuanced language when discussing aptitude and specialization to avoid presenting the benefits too absolutely.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, and sentences remain consistently clear.
Refine stylistic variety by varying sentence openings and reducing repeated relative-clause patterns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.