Some people think to solve traffic and transportation problems people should be encouraged to live in the suburbs or the countryside rather than in cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Traffic congestion is one of the major complications in most metropolitan cities. Many personages say that the antidote to resolving this issue is to motivate citizens to relocate to the suburban arena. I necessarily disagree with the given statement, because moving to the countryside will not be the feasible remedy rather improving transportation services in the city and encouraging people to use that will help to a certain extent.
To begin with, because of the industrial developments and opportunities available, individuals tend to move to the urban area and the density of the population in such areas is more. This caused increased traffic congestion in cities. To resolve this issue, encouraging folks to live on the outskirts of the town will not be an effective solution, rather this will increase travel time for them and the question will remain the same. As an illustration, Brampton and Mississauga are the suburbs area around Toronto city, many individuals prefer to live here since the house prices and rents are comparatively less than the downtown prices, but it takes around one and half hours to reach work. Hence, this treatment will not help to solve the jam and transportation issues.
On the other hand, improving conveyance facilities can tackle the vehicle problem to a great extent. Firstly, The population should be encouraged to use public transit, the government can declare some discounts on bus or train tickets and monthly passes, so everyone will start to use public transit. Secondly, another viable solution could be changing struggle hours, for example, if one company starts their work at 8 am, another company in the same area can ask their employees to start tasks at 9 am. This variation will help to manage the crowd on the road at peak times. For criterion, in the USA, taking a variety of time, more corporations have been decreasing their log jam drastically.
To conclude, forcing the public to move to the suburbs and the village will not help to address the problem of traffic blockage. I believe, encouraging to practice public transit may help along with variation in job hours to manage the crowd.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the right noun Original: complications Suggested revision: problems Why it matters: 'Problems' is the natural noun for describing traffic congestion.
- 2. Choose a natural noun Original: personages Suggested revision: people Why it matters: 'Personages' refers to notable figures and is inappropriate for people in general.
- 3. Fix the collocation Original: antidote to resolving Suggested revision: solution to Why it matters: 'Solution to' is the correct collocation for a proposed remedy.
- 4. Use natural wording Original: suburban arena Suggested revision: suburbs Why it matters: 'Suburbs' is the standard term for the residential areas outside a city centre.
- 5. Correct the tense Original: This caused Suggested revision: This has caused Why it matters: The present perfect connects the continuing development with its current result.
- 6. Use formal vocabulary Original: folks Suggested revision: people Why it matters: 'People' is more appropriate than the informal 'folks' in an academic essay.
- 7. Link the contrast clearly Original: rather this will increase Suggested revision: as this would instead increase Why it matters: The revised connector makes the cause-and-effect relationship grammatical and clear.
- 8. Express the outcome clearly Original: the question will remain the same Suggested revision: the problem will remain unresolved Why it matters: The original phrase does not clearly name the continuing traffic problem.
- 9. Fix noun form Original: the suburbs area Suggested revision: suburban areas Why it matters: The adjective 'suburban' must modify the plural noun 'areas'.
- 10. Fix the comma splice Original: around Toronto city, many Suggested revision: around Toronto; many Why it matters: A semicolon correctly separates the two independent clauses.
- 11. Use comparative form Original: comparatively less than the downtown prices Suggested revision: comparatively lower than those downtown Why it matters: Prices are described as 'lower', and 'those' avoids repeating the noun.
- 12. Add the article Original: one and half hours Suggested revision: one and a half hours Why it matters: The fixed quantity phrase requires 'a' before 'half'.
Suggested Rewrites
- complications problems
- personages people
- antidote to resolving solution to
- suburban arena suburbs
- This caused This has caused
- folks people
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear disagreement and offers a generally logical alternative approach through improved public transport and staggered working hours. Its main limitation is that frequent inaccurate vocabulary and grammatical errors sometimes make examples awkward or obscure, especially the final supporting sentence; prioritize precise, natural word choice and controlled sentence boundaries so the otherwise relevant argument is consistently clear.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported with relevant reasons and alternatives, though some support is insufficiently explained or unclear.
Develop each example with a precise explanation of how it proves the proposed relocation policy would fail.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear paragraph structure and broadly logical progression, but some linking is mechanical and several run-on sentences weaken flow.
Separate major claims and examples into well-punctuated sentences and use connectors only where the logical relationship is clear.
Lexical Resource
There is an adequate range of topic vocabulary, but frequent inappropriate choices such as personages, struggle hours, and criterion reduce precision.
Prefer common, accurate collocations such as residents, staggered working hours, and for example over forced or unfamiliar substitutes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, clause control, and sentence boundaries reduce accuracy.
Prioritize complete sentence structures and systematically check articles, subject-verb agreement, and verb patterns after encouraging.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think to solve traffic and transportation problems people should be encouraged to live in the suburbs or the countryside rather than in cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.