Some people think the qualities a person needs to become successful in today’s world cannot be learned at a university or similar academic institution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Many people believe that universities and other academic institutions cannot equip students with qualities necessary for their success in life. Nevertheless, I think that these qualities can be admittedly learned at school as long as the student is conscious of self-improvement.
Students can acquire qualities that are necessary for their life success such as time-management and leadership skills through doing assignments at school. First, they can learn how to successfully manage their time budget by attempting to finish all the homework assigned before the deadline. Second, they can also better their ability to lead a team thanks to group projects in which they are provided a chance to practice being a leader. After many years, students are enabled to become better-organized with improved leadership abilities so that they can better deal with deadlines and get used to working as a team leader, which increases their chances of promotion at work and success in life.
However, only proactive students who have a thirst for improvement can make good use of their school life to equip themselves with necessary qualities for their success. When understanding that it is necessary for them to enhance their abilities of managing their time as well as leading their team, they will have more motivation to make progress. However, if students are unaware of how important being adept at organizing their time is, they tend to procrastinate and fail to meet the deadline, so they can hardly excel at time management. Also, some of them who avoid taking the role of a leader due to their passiveness and laziness can ruin their own chance of honing their leadership skills.
In conclusion, academic institutions including universities are good places for students to gain qualities essential for their successful life. However, only those who are active enough can seize such opportunities and stand a better chance of future success.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Place adverb naturally Original: can be admittedly learned Suggested revision: can admittedly be learned Why it matters: Place the stance adverb before the passive verb phrase for more natural word order.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: life success Suggested revision: success in life Why it matters: The phrase 'success in life' is the standard collocation for this meaning.
- 3. Use concise phrasing Original: through doing assignments Suggested revision: by completing assignments Why it matters: This replacement expresses the means more directly and naturally.
- 4. Fix time collocation Original: manage their time budget Suggested revision: manage their time Why it matters: People manage their time rather than a 'time budget' in this context.
- 5. Choose precise verb Original: better Suggested revision: improve Why it matters: 'Improve' is the natural verb to describe developing an ability.
- 6. Use natural passive Original: provided Suggested revision: given Why it matters: 'Are given a chance' is the more idiomatic passive construction here.
- 7. Simplify passive form Original: students are enabled to become Suggested revision: students can become Why it matters: The modal form states the resulting possibility more directly.
- 8. Add explicit subject Original: When understanding that Suggested revision: When they understand that Why it matters: The finite clause needs an explicit subject to sound natural with the stative verb 'understand'.
- 9. Fix parallel structure Original: abilities of managing their time as well as leading their team Suggested revision: ability to manage their time and lead a team Why it matters: Use one governing noun followed by parallel infinitive verbs.
- 10. Add phrasal preposition Original: taking the role of a leader Suggested revision: taking on the role of a leader Why it matters: The expression requires 'take on' when someone assumes a role.
- 11. Use natural collocation Original: ruin their own chance Suggested revision: lose their chance Why it matters: 'Lose their chance' is more idiomatic for a missed opportunity.
- 12. Keep number consistent Original: the student is conscious Suggested revision: students are conscious Why it matters: A plural reference agrees more consistently with the essay's repeated use of 'students'.
Suggested Rewrites
- can be admittedly learned can admittedly be learned
- life success success in life
- through doing assignments by completing assignments
- manage their time budget manage their time
- better improve
- provided given
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response maintains a clear position and develops a coherent explanation of how university work can build time-management and leadership skills. Its main limitation is that the discussion stays within two closely related qualities and relies on fairly general examples, while several awkward collocations reduce precision. Strengthen the argument by adding a more specific real-world illustration and revising unnatural phrases so each point sounds more idiomatic and exact.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained, and the two selected qualities are explained with relevant links to future success.
Develop one point with a specific real-world example and address a wider range of qualities to deepen the response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, with generally clear sequencing and referencing.
Use a less repetitive range of transitions and streamline a few long sentences to make progression more natural.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a good range of topic vocabulary, but several awkward collocations reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace phrases such as time budget, life success, and better their ability with more idiomatic combinations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is used with generally good control, and errors rarely impede meaning.
Refine cumbersome passive and clause structures so complex sentences remain concise and consistently natural.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think the qualities a person needs to become successful in today’s world cannot be learned at a university or similar academic institution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.