You have approximately 40 minutes to complete this task. You need to write an essay addressing the topic below In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Your essay should comprise a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Response
In numerous countries today, consumers have the convenience of purchasing food from various parts of the globe in local supermarkets. This trend presents both positive and negative aspects.
On the positive side, the availability of international food products significantly enhances consumer choice and variety. For instance, people can enjoy exotic fruits like kiwis from New Zealand or spices from India, which would otherwise be unavailable locally. This access not only enriches the culinary experience but also allows consumers to maintain a diverse and nutritious diet. Another advantage is the economic benefit derived from global trade. By importing food, countries can support farmers and producers from different regions, boosting the global economy and creating job opportunities in the logistics and retail sectors. Thus, the international food market in supermarkets greatly benefits both consumers and the economy.
Conversely, this development also brings about several drawbacks. One significant concern is the environmental impact of transporting food over long distances. For example, the carbon footprint associated with shipping fruits from one continent to another is substantial, contributing to climate change and environmental degradation. Another issue is the potential threat to local agriculture. Local farmers may find it challenging to compete with cheaper imported goods, leading to a decline in local food production and loss of agricultural heritage. These negative effects highlight the importance of considering environmental sustainability and the well-being of local producers when evaluating this trend.
In conclusion, while the global availability of food in supermarkets offers increased variety and economic benefits, it also poses environmental challenges and risks to local agriculture.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a concise phrase Original: the convenience of purchasing Suggested revision: convenient access to Why it matters: The revision expresses the same idea more directly and concisely.
- 2. Simplify the wording Original: food from various parts of the globe Suggested revision: food from around the world Why it matters: This phrase is more natural while preserving the global scope.
- 3. Use precise evaluation terms Original: presents both positive and negative aspects Suggested revision: has both advantages and disadvantages Why it matters: “Advantages and disadvantages” states the two evaluative categories more precisely.
- 4. Avoid overlapping terms Original: consumer choice and variety Suggested revision: the variety available to consumers Why it matters: “Choice” and “variety” overlap here, so the revision conveys the benefit without repetition.
- 5. Use a formal example marker Original: fruits like kiwis Suggested revision: fruits such as kiwis Why it matters: “Such as” introduces the example in a more formal academic register.
- 6. Clarify whose experience Original: enriches the culinary experience Suggested revision: enriches consumers' culinary experiences Why it matters: The possessive noun makes the people experiencing the benefit explicit.
- 7. Make the phrase direct Original: economic benefit derived from global trade Suggested revision: economic benefits of global trade Why it matters: The revision is more direct and accommodates the several benefits described afterward.
- 8. Clarify the noun phrase Original: international food market in supermarkets Suggested revision: availability of international food in supermarkets Why it matters: The revision focuses clearly on the supermarket availability discussed in the paragraph.
- 9. Remove redundant linking Original: Conversely, this development also brings about Suggested revision: Conversely, this development brings Why it matters: “Conversely” already marks the contrast, so “also” is unnecessary.
- 10. Strengthen parallel structure Original: a decline in local food production and loss of agricultural heritage Suggested revision: a decline in local food production and a loss of agricultural heritage Why it matters: Repeating the article makes the two coordinated consequences clearer and more parallel.
Suggested Rewrites
- the convenience of purchasing convenient access to
- food from various parts of the globe food from around the world
- presents both positive and negative aspects has both advantages and disadvantages
- consumer choice and variety the variety available to consumers
- fruits like kiwis fruits such as kiwis
- enriches the culinary experience enriches consumers' culinary experiences
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay is especially strong in organization and language, presenting well-developed advantages and drawbacks through precise examples and controlled complex sentences. Its central weakness is task fulfillment: it never states whether the development is positive or negative, and the conclusion only restates both sides. The highest-priority improvement is to establish a clear overall judgment and use the discussion to demonstrate why one side outweighs the other.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Relevant benefits and drawbacks are well developed, but the response does not answer the required positive-or-negative judgment.
State a clear evaluation in the introduction and conclusion, then explain why the chosen side carries greater weight.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced, with focused paragraphs and cohesive links that guide the reader smoothly through both sides.
Use the conclusion to complete the argumentative progression by resolving the comparison rather than merely summarizing it.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and flexible, particularly when discussing trade, sustainability, and local agriculture.
Refine occasional broad expressions such as benefits the economy to specify the exact economic effect intended.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are varied and consistently well controlled, with sentences remaining clear and virtually error-free.
Continue refining sentence rhythm and concision so that dense explanations remain as direct as they are accurate.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
You have approximately 40 minutes to complete this task. You need to write an essay addressing the topic below In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Your essay should comprise a minimum of 250 words.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.