As the number of private cars has increased, so too has the level of pollution in many cities. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?
Sample Response
In the past few decades, mankind has made tremendous technological advances and world has truly become a small village because of globalisation. Now, more and more people are able to afford cars. This has caused an increase in the level of noise and air pollution in large cities.
One solution would be to impose a large amount of tax on privately owned cards. This would discourage people to use their own vehicle to commute to work and utilise other means of public transport. This can definitely reduce the traffic in urban city areas. However, this only deals with a part of the population. Rich could easily afford to pay the higher tax; while, on the other hand, only poor would be affected by this law.
Another way government could tackle this problem is to encourage people to use public transportation. The legal authorities could introduce more comfortable and convenient trains, buses and metros to attract more people. As a result, more and more citizens would use public transport services and thus the level of traffic and pollution would definitely reduce.
Lastly, the government should put more money into researches to find more renewable resources such as solar power and wind instead of using coal and petrol. In addition, there could be seminars or lectures to educate people about how our ways of living are affecting the environment. This may not be a quick solution but it does help to tackle the issues at hand in a long run.
In summary, it is partly government's and partly individual's responsibility to pay attention to increasing pollution and find ways to reduce it if we want to leave a greener planet to our children.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use inclusive term Original: mankind Suggested revision: humanity Why it matters: “Humanity” is a concise gender-neutral term for people collectively.
- 2. Add definite article Original: and world has Suggested revision: and the world has Why it matters: The singular noun “world” requires the definite article.
- 3. Use concise trend phrase Original: more and more people are able to afford Suggested revision: increasing numbers of people can afford Why it matters: The revision expresses the growing trend more concisely.
- 4. Use tax collocation Original: a large amount of tax Suggested revision: a high tax Why it matters: A tax is described as high rather than as a large amount.
- 5. Correct vehicle typo Original: privately owned cards Suggested revision: privately owned cars Why it matters: The context requires “cars”, not “cards”.
- 6. Remove unnecessary article Original: reduce the traffic Suggested revision: reduce traffic Why it matters: “Traffic” is uncountable and takes no article in this general meaning.
- 7. Remove redundant location Original: urban city areas Suggested revision: urban areas Why it matters: “Urban” already means relating to a city, so “city” is redundant.
- 8. Add definite article Original: Another way government Suggested revision: Another way the government Why it matters: The specific governing institution requires the definite article.
- 9. Use concise authority term Original: The legal authorities Suggested revision: The authorities Why it matters: “Authorities” already denotes official bodies, so “legal” is unnecessary here.
- 10. Use uncountable research Original: more money into researches Suggested revision: more money into research Why it matters: “Research” is uncountable when referring generally to scientific investigation.
- 11. Name energy sources Original: more renewable resources Suggested revision: more renewable energy sources Why it matters: The paragraph contrasts energy sources, so “energy” is needed for precision.
- 12. Use parallel energy terms Original: solar power and wind Suggested revision: solar and wind power Why it matters: The coordinated terms should use a parallel structure.
Suggested Rewrites
- mankind humanity
- and world has and the world has
- more and more people are able to afford increasing numbers of people can afford
- a large amount of tax a high tax
- privately owned cards privately owned cars
- reduce the traffic reduce traffic
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear range of solutions, especially progressive taxation and improved public transport, with useful consideration of fairness and implementation. Its main limitation is that renewable energy research is not directly connected to reducing pollution from private cars, while some explanations remain general. The highest priority is to link every proposal explicitly to vehicle emissions, for example through cleaner public transport, electric cars, or reduced car use.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Several relevant solutions are proposed and generally explained, with useful recognition that a flat car tax would affect income groups unequally.
Connect renewable-energy investment directly to transport emissions and explain how taxation could be designed fairly enough to change driving behaviour.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses clearly through separate solution paragraphs and uses cohesive devices effectively, though the final body paragraph combines two loosely related measures.
Give clean-transport technology and public education distinct supporting logic or place each in the paragraph where it most directly reinforces the main solution.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate and sometimes flexible for taxation, transport, energy, and pollution, with several noticeable but non-obstructive inaccuracies.
Correct ‘privately owned cars’, ‘investment in research’, ‘renewable energy sources’, ‘urban areas’, and ‘in the long run’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is generally controlled, although errors in articles, infinitive patterns, punctuation, and noun forms recur.
Check forms such as ‘discourage people from using’, ‘the rich’, ‘the government’s responsibility’, and remove the misplaced semicolon after ‘tax’.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
As the number of private cars has increased, so too has the level of pollution in many cities. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.