Some people say that talent is the most important factor for being an expert in a field while others say that motivation is the key to that. If you want to become an expert in a certain field, do you need to have more talent or more motivation?
Sample Response
While growing up, we've always heard tales about successful people; Ludwig Van Beethoven, Albert Einstein, William Shakespeare, and even president Lincoln. In regards of the virtues of a champion, I stand side-by-side with Muhammad Ali. I think that in order to be revered as an expert in your field, you need to set yourself apart from everyone else who are also trying to reach that goal. As Muhammad Ali put it, you need to be “a little better”- with more stamina, better speed, and a stronger will. Some people might have talent, but one thing that is imperative for a champion to have is motivation. People are more motivated to be successful in a field they like. When people have certain hobbies or jobs they like, they will not work on them out of obligation or with extraordinary goals in mind. They simply do those activities because they are entertaining or interesting; they are motivated. A friend of mine has an experience just like this one. Wilson has been obsessed with the piano since he was a child. Playing makes him happy and he wants to make a living out of it. Hence, he practices all the time- because he likes it anyway- and as a result, he was accepted to Juilliard on a merit scholarship. Another reason why motivation is so important is because people do not decide to become experts on a whim. Determination and a strong purpose are required. People try, work, and think harder to achieve something when they have motives to do so. This applies to the newly-elected president of Indonesia, President Joko Widodo; having grown up as the son of a poor carpenter, President Joko Widodo- better known as Jokowi- wants to make a change. Therefore, his will to make Indonesia a better country caused him to delve into politics. In fact, he becomes the president who caters to the needs of citizens living in poverty. To conclude, the one special that would make you different from everyone else is your motivation. When you are motivated, you will try, work, and think harder than others in order to achieve expertise in your field. After all, people with talent but no motivation will not succeed. They either choose not to pursue a career in the field or they are too lazy for their talent to be of use. Successful people don’t become who they are because they have more talent, but because they try harder and have more reason to succeed than everyone else.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Introduce examples correctly Original: successful people; Ludwig Suggested revision: successful people, such as Ludwig Why it matters: A comma and "such as" correctly introduce the following examples.
- 2. Capitalise formal title Original: president Suggested revision: President Why it matters: A title directly preceding a name should be capitalised.
- 3. Fix prepositional phrase Original: In regards of Suggested revision: With regard to Why it matters: "With regard to" is the standard expression.
- 4. State agreement directly Original: stand side-by-side with Suggested revision: agree with Why it matters: The replacement clearly expresses agreement without a distracting physical metaphor.
- 5. Fix relative agreement Original: are Suggested revision: is Why it matters: The indefinite pronoun "everyone" takes a singular verb.
- 6. Use correct dash Original: better”- with Suggested revision: better” — with Why it matters: A spaced dash correctly introduces the explanatory list.
- 7. Use measurable comparison Original: better Suggested revision: greater Why it matters: "Greater" is the natural comparative for an amount of speed.
- 8. Remove wordiness Original: imperative for a champion to have Suggested revision: essential for a champion Why it matters: The shorter phrase preserves the meaning without the empty verb "have."
- 9. Use precise activity verb Original: do Suggested revision: pursue Why it matters: "Pursue" more precisely describes sustained engagement in hobbies or work.
- 10. Fix tense and phrasing Original: has an experience just like this one Suggested revision: has had a similar experience Why it matters: The present perfect and concise comparison are natural for a past experience relevant now.
- 11. Use natural collocation Original: make a living out of it Suggested revision: earn a living from it Why it matters: "Earn a living from" is the standard expression for income from an activity.
- 12. Use paired dashes Original: all the time- because he likes it anyway- Suggested revision: all the time—because he likes it anyway— Why it matters: Paired dashes correctly set off the parenthetical explanation.
Suggested Rewrites
- successful people; Ludwig successful people, such as Ludwig
- president President
- In regards of With regard to
- stand side-by-side with agree with
- are is
- better”- with better” — with
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay gives a clear, consistent preference for motivation and supports it with engaging examples of sustained practice and determined public service. Its strongest section is the pianist example, which directly shows motivation producing expertise; the political example is less relevant, and the entire response is presented as one paragraph. Prioritise a tighter comparison with talent and organise each main reason in a separate body paragraph.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The preference for motivation is clear and substantially developed, particularly through the pianist example, although the political example is only loosely connected to expertise.
Compare motivation directly with natural ability and replace the political example with a case showing prolonged deliberate practice in a specific field.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument advances logically from enjoyment-driven practice to purposeful determination, but the 420-word single paragraph makes the stages harder to distinguish.
Separate the introduction, each main reason, and the conclusion into distinct paragraphs, keeping one example with each reason.
Lexical Resource
A broad vocabulary conveys the argument effectively, though expressions such as 'in regards of', 'has an experience', and 'the one special' are inaccurate or unnatural.
Use idiomatic forms such as 'regarding', 'had a similar experience', and 'the one quality', favouring precision over rhetorical flourish.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay demonstrates varied sentence structures with generally clear meaning, but agreement, tense, punctuation, and noun-phrase errors recur.
Correct subject agreement and tense consistency, writing 'everyone else who is trying', 'he practised', and 'he became president'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that talent is the most important factor for being an expert in a field while others say that motivation is the key to that. If you want to become an expert in a certain field, do you need to have more talent or more motivation?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.