Some cities create housing areas by providing taller buildings. Others create housing by building houses on a wider area of land. Which solution is better?
Sample Response
While the government in a number of cities decide to construct high-rise buildings to provide housing for their citizens, that in other cities expand their housing areas horizontally. In my opinion, building a vertical city is a better option because it makes better use of land, a limited resource on the planet, and it is also more eco-friendly than a horizontal one.
A vertical city can better optimize the land use because land on earth will not grow any bigger, while the human population is ever-increasing. If tall apartments are erected and chosen as a place of residence, a unit of land can accommodate a larger number of residents. For instance, instead of allocating 100 miles square of land for the construction of houses for a population of only 100 households, the government can provide accommodation for ten times as many when constructing a ten-story apartment. Then, more land can be available for other purposes, such as cultivating crops to meet the growing food demands or expanding streets to alleviate traffic congestion, which can address critical issues associated with the overpopulation.
Meanwhile, housing areas enlarged in a horizontal direction place a high pressure on the environment and people’s life. As a result of the increasing population of humans, wildlands may be encroached to make room for residential areas. For example, in Brazil, a major part of forests are cleared to build more houses for citizens, which not only endangers wildlife but also puts human civilization at higher risk of natural disasters. With narrowed forests, floods and droughts have taken place more often, damaging the agriculture, the economy and other important sectors of this country.
In conclusion, employing the same area of land, vertical cities can house more citizens than horizontal cities which are not only environmentally damaging but also unsustainable in the long run. Personally, municipal leaders should develop their city in a vertical way as soon as possible.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove unnecessary article Original: optimize the land use Suggested revision: optimize land use Why it matters: Land use is normally used without the definite article when discussed generally.
- 2. Capitalize proper noun Original: earth Suggested revision: Earth Why it matters: Earth is capitalized when it names the planet.
- 3. Use natural phrasing Original: chosen as a place of residence Suggested revision: used as housing Why it matters: Used as housing expresses the intended function more directly.
- 4. Correct area expression Original: 100 miles square of land Suggested revision: 100 square miles of land Why it matters: English places square before the unit when expressing an area.
- 5. Correct counting unit Original: for a population of only 100 households Suggested revision: for only 100 households Why it matters: A population consists of people, so households should be counted directly here.
- 6. State comparison noun Original: ten times as many Suggested revision: ten times as many households Why it matters: Naming households makes the comparison unambiguous.
- 7. Show means clearly Original: when constructing a ten-story apartment Suggested revision: by constructing a ten-story apartment building Why it matters: By correctly introduces the means, while building supplies the required countable noun.
- 8. Use natural collocation Original: the growing food demands Suggested revision: growing food demand Why it matters: Food demand is normally uncountable when referring to general societal need.
- 9. Remove unnecessary article Original: the overpopulation Suggested revision: overpopulation Why it matters: Overpopulation is used without the definite article when referring to the general problem.
- 10. Make phrasing concise Original: housing areas enlarged in a horizontal direction Suggested revision: horizontally expanded housing areas Why it matters: The revision expresses the same idea more directly.
- 11. Correct pressure collocation Original: a high pressure Suggested revision: great pressure Why it matters: Pressure is uncountable in this expression and does not take a.
- 12. Use plural noun Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The plural possessive people’s requires lives when referring to multiple individuals.
Suggested Rewrites
- optimize the land use optimize land use
- earth Earth
- chosen as a place of residence used as housing
- 100 miles square of land 100 square miles of land
- for a population of only 100 households for only 100 households
- ten times as many ten times as many households
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is strongest in its clear position and well-developed comparison, with each body paragraph explaining a distinct advantage of vertical housing. The main limitation is language control: several grammatical faults and awkward collocations interrupt an otherwise persuasive argument. The highest-priority improvement is careful sentence-level editing, especially for clause structure, agreement, count expressions, and natural noun phrases.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the choice directly and develops two relevant, well-supported reasons for preferring taller buildings.
Strengthen the comparison further by acknowledging a plausible advantage of low-rise expansion before showing why vertical development still prevails.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a clear progression from land efficiency to environmental impact, with effective paragraphing and reference across sentences.
Polish a few transitions and references so links such as 'Meanwhile' and the final relative clause express their relationships more precisely.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and suitably topic-specific, though several combinations such as '100 miles square' and 'place a high pressure' are inaccurate.
Review noun patterns and common collocations, using forms such as '100 square miles' and 'place considerable pressure on' consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses varied complex sentences successfully, but noticeable errors in clause construction, agreement, articles, and modifiers remain.
Rewrite the opening comparison as two complete parallel clauses and check every long sentence for clear subjects and correctly attached modifiers.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some cities create housing areas by providing taller buildings. Others create housing by building houses on a wider area of land. Which solution is better?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.