Air traffic is increasingly leading to more noise, pollution and airport construction. One reason for this is the growth in low-cost passenger flights, often to holiday destinations. Some people might say that governments should try to reduce air traffic by taxing it more heavily. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The proclivity for air travel has seen a substantial increase over the recent years, and the number of frequent flyers is perpetually on the rise. The advent of inexpensive flights has granted benefits like low-cost travel to vacation spots but it has also led to first-hand issues like noise and air pollution and several other indirect consequences owing to a hike in air traffic. Consequently, it has been a matter of debate whether or not this occurrence should be curbed by increasing taxation. In my opinion, this solution is precarious in the least, and I will elaborate on my views in the following paragraphs.
It is a well-known fact that the airline industry is booming, and commercial activity in and around this sector is following an upwards trend. At the same time, the number of individuals employed by this industry has also grown. More jobs are being created, and the demand for human resources in this area is expanding. However, the implementation of stringent tax obligations will hike the overall operational costs, which will be detrimental to these developments and the livelihoods of numerous people working for the airlines.
Furthermore, the adversities experienced will not be limited to air companies alone but will have a trickle-down effect on nearly every segment of the global economy. For instance, the tourism industry will suffer tremendously because air travel is the most common and preferred means to reach holiday destinations. Apart from that, businesses that depend on air transportation for the import and export of commodities will also face losses on a huge scale leading to a decline in economic growth worldwide.
Nevertheless, issues like increased noise pollution around airports, rising emissions from plane engines and turbines, and the scarcity of land due to the construction of massive airports and terminals cannot be ignored. That being said, simply increasing taxes and reducing business for the airlines might seem to improve the situation but, in reality, has unfavourable after-effects.
In conclusion, the negative outcomes of growing air traffic are evident and have to be acknowledged. However, restraining the growth of this field is not a feasible remedy, and alternatives have to be found to tackle the situation.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix the subject choice Original: The proclivity for air travel has seen a substantial increase Suggested revision: Air travel has increased substantially Why it matters: A proclivity cannot naturally experience an increase in air travel.
- 2. Use the correct phrase Original: over the recent years Suggested revision: in recent years Why it matters: 'In recent years' is the standard time expression.
- 3. Use formal phrasing Original: granted benefits like Suggested revision: provided benefits such as Why it matters: 'Provided benefits such as' is more natural and formal in this context.
- 4. Choose the right term Original: first-hand issues Suggested revision: direct problems Why it matters: 'First-hand' describes personal experience rather than an immediate consequence.
- 5. Use formal wording Original: owing to a hike in air traffic Suggested revision: owing to increased air traffic Why it matters: The revision expresses the cause more concisely and formally.
- 6. Clarify the reference Original: occurrence Suggested revision: trend Why it matters: 'This trend' refers more clearly to the continuing growth in air traffic.
- 7. Correct the idiom Original: precarious in the least Suggested revision: questionable, to say the least Why it matters: The original wording combines an unsuitable adjective with an incorrect idiomatic phrase.
- 8. Use adjective form Original: upwards Suggested revision: upward Why it matters: 'Upward' is the adjective required before the noun 'trend'.
- 9. Name the policy directly Original: stringent tax obligations Suggested revision: heavy taxation Why it matters: The revision refers directly to the proposed higher taxes without unnecessary abstraction.
- 10. Use formal collocation Original: hike the overall operational costs Suggested revision: increase overall operating costs Why it matters: 'Increase operating costs' is more natural and formal than 'hike operational costs'.
- 11. Avoid vague wording Original: the adversities experienced Suggested revision: the negative effects Why it matters: The revision identifies the consequences more directly.
- 12. Use the standard term Original: air companies Suggested revision: airlines Why it matters: 'Airlines' is the conventional term for these businesses.
Suggested Rewrites
- The proclivity for air travel has seen a substantial increase Air travel has increased substantially
- over the recent years in recent years
- granted benefits like provided benefits such as
- first-hand issues direct problems
- owing to a hike in air traffic owing to increased air traffic
- occurrence trend
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay presents a clear position and develops a logical, well-organised case around employment, tourism, and trade, supported by a strong range of language and controlled complex sentences. Its main limitation is that the environmental counterpoint and proposed need for alternatives are acknowledged rather than fully evaluated. Deepen that evaluation by explaining a credible alternative policy and directly comparing its likely effects with heavier taxation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and relevant reasons are extended, but the environmental counterargument and proposed alternatives remain comparatively underdeveloped.
Evaluate one realistic alternative to taxation and show why it would address the stated harms more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used clearly despite occasional formulaic transitions.
Make links between the economic case and the environmental concession more implicit and analytical rather than relying on paragraph-opening connectors.
Lexical Resource
A wide vocabulary conveys precise economic and environmental ideas, although several collocations are slightly strained or overly emphatic.
Prefer natural combinations such as rising operating costs and harmful consequences over less idiomatic or inflated phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, and the few minor lapses do not impede communication.
Refine punctuation around longer modifying phrases to make already strong sentence control even cleaner.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Air traffic is increasingly leading to more noise, pollution and airport construction. One reason for this is the growth in low-cost passenger flights, often to holiday destinations. Some people might say that governments should try to reduce air traffic by taxing it more heavily. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.