One way to solve the problem of congestion is to increase the tax on private vehicles. Do the advantages of this solution outweigh its disadvantages?
Sample Response
It goes without saying that due to the rapid growth of population increase, the intensity of traffic congestion has become the most prominent issue globally. It can plunge with higher taxes imposed on personal drives and overcome this severe scenario. Although many may see a positive phenomenon, it is not a trend without drawbacks. Therefore, hiking the taxes on transport has more benefits than drawbacks.
The first disadvantage is that if taxes would not be increased, so the total consumption of cars gradually surged, which led to the number of private vehicles on the road having a direct impact on air quality because exhaust fumes are a major contributor to air pollution. Other criticism of taxes on independent vehicles will discourage the manufacturing companies from investing in the country, which directly impacts the economy of the nation, thus leading to the individual would deprive of massive amenities. For instance, major companies always give clear intention towards fulfilling the amp and necessity of consumers and provide all possible sophisticated attributes in a reasonable range, with the certain changes in taxes and companies would pull back their services from the market immediately. To add to it, higher taxes will only affect lower-income families.
Despite the demerits above, the main practical benefits as well. First of all, with the scale-up of taxes, most people drop the idea of owning new vehicles, so they give interest towards public transport in lieu of independent vehicles. Access to them, they are likely to save their money and prefer other modes of transport, such as intercity terms that are highly energy-efficient or use sustainable energy vehicles. However, increasing taxes would sort out the crisis of traffic jams. The added advantage is that the consumption of fossil fuels would be reduced, which tends to take the small initiative to preserve the precious elements for further generation and it could be possible when fares of taxes inclined and people should avoid using their personal vehicles in their day to day life. For instance, last year Delhi government announced the rule of Odd-Even and increased the range of taxes on ownership of new cars. Afterwards, the problem of traffic congestion was immediately reduced, and this law was also implemented by local residents. In addition, with the rise in taxes helps to change the infrastructure of the country and improve the condition of roads and build parking facilities, which makes an easier lifestyle for the community.
In conclusion, the congestion problem can be comfortably solved if appropriate precautions are taken by the government. Above all, the public should also follow the road signs and contribute to nature.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundant wording Original: due to the rapid growth of population increase Suggested revision: due to rapid population growth Why it matters: Growth and increase duplicate the same idea in the original phrase.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: intensity Suggested revision: severity Why it matters: Severity collocates more naturally with traffic congestion.
- 3. Add missing object Original: many may see a positive phenomenon Suggested revision: many may see this as a positive development Why it matters: See requires an object here, and see something as is the correct pattern.
- 4. Use precise wording Original: hiking the taxes on transport Suggested revision: increasing taxes on private vehicles Why it matters: The revision names the proposed tax precisely and uses a more formal verb.
- 5. Fix conditional form Original: if taxes would not be increased Suggested revision: if taxes were not increased Why it matters: The conditional clause requires a past form rather than would.
- 6. Correct tense and phrasing Original: so the total consumption of cars gradually surged Suggested revision: car use would gradually increase Why it matters: The revision gives the result clause a consistent conditional tense and a natural subject.
- 7. Keep tense consistent Original: which led to Suggested revision: which would lead to Why it matters: The modal form is needed to match the hypothetical condition earlier in the sentence.
- 8. Use formal connector Original: To add to it Suggested revision: In addition Why it matters: In addition is a clearer academic transition for another drawback.
- 9. Restore main clause Original: the main practical benefits as well Suggested revision: there are also practical benefits Why it matters: The sentence needs a finite verb and an explicit subject after the introductory phrase.
- 10. Use natural noun phrase Original: scale-up of taxes Suggested revision: increase in taxes Why it matters: Increase in taxes is the standard expression in this context.
- 11. Correct verb phrase Original: give interest towards public transport Suggested revision: become more interested in public transport Why it matters: Give interest towards is not a natural English collocation.
- 12. Clarify the reference Original: Access to them Suggested revision: By using public transport Why it matters: The revision replaces an unclear pronoun reference with the intended mode of travel.
Suggested Rewrites
- due to the rapid growth of population increase due to rapid population growth
- intensity severity
- many may see a positive phenomenon many may see this as a positive development
- hiking the taxes on transport increasing taxes on private vehicles
- if taxes would not be increased if taxes were not increased
- so the total consumption of cars gradually surged car use would gradually increase
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response presents a clear initial judgement and offers several relevant benefits of taxing private vehicles, including reduced car ownership, congestion, and fuel use. However, the disadvantages are inconsistently framed, several explanations become unclear, and the conclusion does not explicitly reaffirm the required comparison. Prioritise a direct advantages-versus-disadvantages evaluation, supported by accurately explained evidence and a conclusion that clearly states why one side carries more weight.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response discusses both sides and initially states that benefits outweigh drawbacks, but some disadvantages are confused or underdeveloped and the conclusion loses that judgement.
Compare the importance of the strongest advantage and disadvantage explicitly, then restate the resulting judgement in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing separates the main stages appropriately, but overlong sentences and occasionally illogical linking weaken progression within ideas.
Organise each paragraph around one clear claim and use connectors only when their logical relationship is accurate.
Lexical Resource
There is a reasonably broad vocabulary for transport, economics, and the environment, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word substitutions obscure meaning.
Choose familiar, precise terms and check collocations such as private vehicles, tax rates, public transport, and future generations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted throughout, but frequent errors in clause formation, agreement, tense, and sentence boundaries often reduce clarity.
Use shorter sentence patterns with one main clause, then proofread each for a subject, finite verb, and correct tense.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
One way to solve the problem of congestion is to increase the tax on private vehicles. Do the advantages of this solution outweigh its disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.