Once children start school, teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development than parents do. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is often argued that once formal education begins, educators exert a greater impact on a child's academic and interpersonal growth than family members.Some people believe that after children start school, teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development than parents. While I agree that educators shape critical thinking and peer interaction, I believe parents retain a stronger, foundational influence.I partly agree with this idea, but I think parents are still very important.
On the one hand, teachers play a crucial roleplay an important role in children’s education. At school, children learn a wide range of academic disciplinesdifferent subjects such as math, science, and languageslanguage. Teachers also help students improve their thinking skills and learn how to solve problems. Beyond academic instruction,In addition, children spend a lot of time at school, so teachers can influence parents' behaviortheir behavior and social skills, such as teamwork and communication through group projects and structured social interaction.such as teamwork and communication.
On the other hand, parents exert a profound impact onhave a strong influence on children’s development too. Parents teach their children core moral values, etiquette, and worldviewbasic values, manners, and attitudes from a young age. Throughout a child's school years,Even when children go to school, parents still support them with homework and offer emotional and personal guidance.give advice. Children also learn by watching their parents, so their behavior can affect children’s personality and social development.
In conclusion, although teachers are important for children’s learning and interpersonal skills in an educational setting,social life at school, parents still have a big influence on their overall development. Therefore, I believe both teachers and parents play important roles.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay presents a clear position and logically structures the main points regarding the roles of teachers and parents. However, the response is significantly under the expected length requirement, which limits the depth of main idea development and supporting examples. To improve, expand on specific supporting examples and detail each argument to comfortably exceed 250 words.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
You presented a clear, relevant position, but your ideas are underdeveloped due to being under the 250-word minimum.
Elaborate on each main point with concrete examples and deeper explanation to meet the required word count.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is logical and ideas progress clearly across the response using basic transition phrases.
Use a wider variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas within paragraphs more smoothly.
Lexical Resource
Your vocabulary is accurate and appropriate for the topic, though it remains quite simple and repetitive in places.
Incorporate more varied, less common lexical items and collocations related to child development and education.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
You demonstrate good grammatical control with mostly error-free simple and compound sentences.
Attempt a wider range of complex sentence structures, such as conditional clauses and relative clauses, to boost your score.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Once children start school, teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development than parents do. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.