Some people think the teacher has greater influence than parents in the development of child 's intelligence and social skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?
Sample Response
There is considerable debatetoo much debate about whether teachers or parents influence children’s social and intellectual developmentinfluence child development socially and mentally. While I agree with the idea that teachers play an indispensable role in child development, I believe that parents have an even greater impact as children growa greater impact on children growing up too.
On the one handOn one hand, teachers are the backbone of the education system. By this I mean that, in most countries children begin to attend school from 5 years old and from this point they emerge from the small family and join the whole society and being part of it, with the presence of professional teacher this could be a huge development in term of social skills such as teamwork and sharing activities. Moreover, through classes in subjects such as mathematics and sciencedifferent classes in mathematics and science, for instance, children can learn how to solve a complex problem in a short time and this is importantthis is the most important thing for brain development and intelligence. For exampleillustration, it has been estimatedcalculated that nearly 30% of overall brain developmentthe whole brain development takes place during this stage of lifeat this stage of our life.
On the other hand, parents and particularly mothers, as the child stays most of their time with them, play an important constituent in the growth of the child mentality. As a matter of fact, the preschool years are crucialthe preschool stage is a crucial stage and children absorb and retainobtain and store vast amounts of information. Hence, duringin this period children develop their own personalities within their environmentcreate their own environment and personality. For instance, children imitate their parents’ languagecopy their parents in their language and how they interact with each other. Moreover, families can boost their children inelegant and cognitive skills through video games, play, interactive discussion, advice etc. As a result, the crucial role of the familythe crucial role of family is cannot be overlookednot forgettable.
To concludeTo conclude, as we have seen. There is no easy answer to this question. However, I tend to believe that both parents and teachers influence children’schildren social skills and mental development.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay considers relevant contributions from both teachers and parents and addresses social as well as intellectual development. Its main weakness is an inconsistent position: the introduction gives parents greater influence, whereas the conclusion retreats to saying both sides matter, and frequent language errors sometimes strain clarity. The highest-priority improvement is to state one precise degree of agreement and make every paragraph support that judgement through controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Relevant arguments are presented for both influences, but the response does not maintain a consistent answer to the extent question.
Choose and sustain a clear comparative judgement, then explain why one influence is greater or why they are equal.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear contrast structure and recognisable progression, though several ideas within paragraphs are joined awkwardly.
Use shorter topic-led sentences and connect each example directly to intelligence or social skills.
Lexical Resource
There is some range of education and development vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Use accurate phrases such as cognitive development, intellectual skills, professional teachers, and an important influence.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, possessives, pronouns, and clause boundaries affect readability.
Break long sentences into complete clauses and check each noun phrase for articles and possessive forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think the teacher has greater influence than parents in the development of child 's intelligence and social skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.