Very few school children learn about the value of money and how to look after it, yet this is a critical life skill that should be taught as a part of the school curriculum. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Schools usually deal with variousdifferent academic subjects while overlooking the teaching ofwhile overlook teaching money management skills. This is why many students, who do well in school, struggle to take care ofstruggle while taking care of their finances in real life. Academic studies and financial intelligence are not inherently contradictorycannot be seen as inherent contradictions but as two mutually independent competencies. So, I believe that the value of money and money management should be taught in schools. The author of the book “Rich Dad Poor Dad” defines financial independence asterms Financial Independence as you being able to make your money work for you and not the other way around. Students who learn how to spend, invest and save moneyget to learn about how to spend, invest and save money rarely find themselves in financial predicaments regardless of how much they earndespite what their salaries bring in. Such skills are often inculcated by families and teachersthrough family and teachers. And students who lack these skillsstudents, who lack these skills, usually find themselves with insufficient funds no matter how much their jobs pay them. They never learn to develop their assets. It renders them dependentdependents on their jobs throughout their lives because it is their only sourcefor life as it is their only source of income. TheirThe earnings are mostly spent on their liabilities leaving them with paltry savings. If money management is taught as a part of the school curriculum, all the students will get a chance to learn such skills. They will grow up to have more knowledge of money and finance. ConsequentlyConsecutively, they will make better-informed financial decisionshave a better perspective while making financial decisions. This will lead to a more stable, enriched and self-reliant society. Lessons learned in schools last for a long timelast for a long and that is why teaching money management to students is so vital. To conclude, earning money may not be the goal in life but it is the money that provides us with our basic needs and a sense of security. Learning the skills to value and handle money is a crucial part of life. Thus, I believe that lessons for financial management should be made a part of the school curriculum so that more and more students can have a financially stable future.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear, consistent position and supports it with a logical explanation of how financial education could benefit individuals and society. Its main weakness is presentation: the entire discussion forms one paragraph, while several claims remain general and a few awkward grammatical and lexical choices reduce precision. Prioritise clear paragraph divisions and develop each reason with a specific, credible example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and relevant benefits are explained, although support is sometimes general or repetitive.
Develop each main reason with a concrete example showing how school-based financial education changes later decisions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically and linking is generally clear, but the response is presented as one undivided paragraph.
Separate the introduction, main arguments, and conclusion into purposeful paragraphs with distinct central ideas.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic vocabulary conveys precise ideas, despite several awkward collocations and some repetition.
Refine word combinations such as those concerning salaries, dependence, and long-lasting lessons for more natural expression.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied sentence structures communicate meaning clearly, but recurring errors in verb forms, complements, and noun forms reduce control.
Proofread complex sentences for accurate verb patterns and forms, particularly constructions such as while plus a verb and render plus an object.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Very few school children learn about the value of money and how to look after it, yet this is a critical life skill that should be taught as a part of the school curriculum. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.