Some people believe that schools focus too much on academic subjects and not enough on life skills. What problems can this cause? What can be done to improve the situation?
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Sample Response
In many countries, schools focus too much academic subjects on and not enough on life. This essay will examine the main causes of this trend and suggest several ways to address it.
There are two reasons why schools focus too much on academic subjects and not enough on life. First, some university students are unable to budget their living expenses or prepare basic meals, which significantly undermines their independence.which affects their independence is major reason. This is because when many students leave school without knowing how to manage finances, cook, or handle emergencies , these students may become overly reliant on others or face unnecessary difficulties in daily life. As a resultresults, it is possibly said that this issue may trigger some problems. Second, overemphasis on academic subjects can negatively impact students' mental well-being is another reason because when students are often overwhelmed by exams and homework without learning how to cope with stress or maintain emotional balance, students may suffer from anxiety, low self-esteem, or a lack of confidence when facing real-world challengeschallenge. HoweverTherefore, schools rarely teach stress management or communication skills, even though these are vital in both academic and personal life.
There are two solutions for schools focus too much academic subjects on and not enough on life. First, we should take measure ought to be taken to resolve these prospective issues. This wouldwhould help because schoolschools should integrate life skills education into the formal curriculum. For exampleexamples, teachingeaching essential skills such as time management, financial literacy, or teamwork can help students prepare better for adulthood.
Additionally, schools should organizeAs a result, schools should organize extracurricular workshops and real-life simulation activities. SpecificallySecond, schools could host role-play sessions for job interviews or provide community service opportunities to enhance interpersonal skills. For instance, countries like Finland include practical subjects and life skills in their school programs, resulting in well-rounded, independent individuals. Therefore,individuals, Therefore, introducing similar models in other countries could significantly improve student readiness for real-life situations.
In conclusion, schools focus too much on academic subjects and not enough on life is mainly caused by inabilityunabling to budget their living expenses and overemphasising academic subjectsoveremphasising on academic subjects can negatively impact students' mental well-being. We can take measure ought to be taken to resolve these prospective issues.
and host role-play sessions for job interviews or provide community service opportunities to enhance interpersonal skills.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response successfully addresses both main aspects of the prompt by identifying real-world problems caused by an academic focus and offering relevant practical solutions. However, structural flaws in sentence formation and mechanical cohesion make the overall argument difficult to follow in places. To improve, focus on eliminating run-on structures, ensuring correct clause boundaries, and organizing paragraphs into complete, coherent units without trailing fragments.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay addresses both parts of the task by discussing relevant problems and proposing concrete solutions.
Ensure all prompt questions are introduced accurately in the opening paragraph rather than mislabeling problems as causes.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is arranged in paragraphs, but structural breaks and abrupt sentence fragments disrupt logical progression.
Group related ideas into well-developed paragraphs and avoid leaving incomplete fragments at the end of the essay.
Lexical Resource
An adequate range of topic-specific vocabulary is used, though word choice errors and awkward phrasing recur.
Refine word order and fixed phrases to ensure vocabulary integrates naturally into your sentences.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences is attempted, but frequent structural errors and fused clauses obscure clarity.
Practice forming clear single-predicate main clauses to avoid stacking multiple main verbs into a single sentence.