Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
It is a debatable issue to teach a parental skill in school. Some segment of society thinks that it is an amazing idea to teach adolescents how to be a good parent in the future. Personally, I disagree with this statement and I will elaborate it in the following paragraphs.
Learn the parental skill in academic is unreasonable because of youngsters are not enough mature to understand the responsibility of the parent. If school teach them those skills then it put some extra burden on the student’s head. For instance, in schooling age pupils are minor and they do not understand the depth of this relationship. Thus, it is unnecessary to educate kids about parenthood in school.
Moreover, institutes only concentrate on the academic subject rather than a parental course because the career of students depend on academic knowledge which they acquire is an academy. However, no one can teach how to become a good mother and father, it only learns by self when someone being a real parent and practice the new experience daily.
According to my viewpoint, there are some skills which make a person a good parent. First and foremost is an abundance of love and care. Secondly, a person should be responsible. Thirdly, they should be strict for discipline life. Last but not least, they are mature and financial strength so that they can easily provide them some basic needs such as food, shelter, education to their children.
To conclude, school is not the right place to educate people about parenthood. The person only learns to be a good citizen in school that help them to become a role model and inspiration for others.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: a parental skill Suggested revision: parenting skills Why it matters: The plural phrase 'parenting skills' is the natural term for abilities involved in raising children.
- 2. Fix number agreement Original: segment Suggested revision: segments Why it matters: The determiner 'some' requires a plural count noun here.
- 3. Add required preposition Original: elaborate it Suggested revision: elaborate on it Why it matters: The verb 'elaborate' requires 'on' before its object.
- 4. Fix subject agreement Original: school Suggested revision: schools Why it matters: A plural subject and base-form verb are needed for this general statement.
- 5. Fix verb agreement Original: then it put Suggested revision: then this puts Why it matters: The singular subject 'this' requires the third-person form 'puts'.
- 6. Use natural expression Original: the student’s head Suggested revision: students Why it matters: A burden is placed on students, while 'on the student's head' is unnatural in this context.
- 7. Use correct phrase Original: in schooling age Suggested revision: at school age Why it matters: The standard expression for this stage of life is 'at school age'.
- 8. Use plural noun Original: minor Suggested revision: minors Why it matters: The complement must be plural to agree with 'pupils'.
- 9. Clarify the meaning Original: the depth of this relationship Suggested revision: the responsibilities involved in parenting Why it matters: This wording states more precisely what the pupils are said not to understand.
- 10. Use plural form Original: the academic subject Suggested revision: academic subjects Why it matters: The claim refers to academic subjects in general, so the plural is required.
- 11. Fix number agreement Original: the career of students depend Suggested revision: students' careers depend Why it matters: The plural possessive construction creates agreement with the plural verb 'depend'.
- 12. Fix preposition error Original: which they acquire is an academy Suggested revision: that they acquire at an academy Why it matters: The place preposition must be 'at', and 'that' introduces the defining relative clause clearly.
Suggested Rewrites
- a parental skill parenting skills
- segment segments
- elaborate it elaborate on it
- school schools
- then it put then this puts
- the student’s head students
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a clear disagreement and offers several relevant reasons, with logical paragraphing making the main line of argument easy to follow. Its main limitation is that ideas are often asserted rather than convincingly explained, while frequent grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision. The highest priority is to develop each reason with a specific, logically connected example and then edit sentences for accurate verb forms, agreement, articles, and natural word combinations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and the response addresses the issue with relevant reasons, but most ideas receive limited explanation or support.
Develop each main reason through a specific example that shows exactly why school-based parenting education would be ineffective.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear paragraph structure and overall progression, although linking is sometimes mechanical and some sentences connect loosely.
Use fewer formulaic sequencing expressions and make the logical relationship between consecutive sentences more explicit.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary covers the topic adequately, but frequent unnatural collocations and word-form choices reduce precision.
Replace phrases such as academic subject, discipline life, and financial strength with natural, context-appropriate combinations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and clause construction weaken control.
Prioritise accurate subject-verb agreement and complete clause structures before attempting longer complex sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.