It was predicted that people living in the twenty-first century would have more free time than ever before because of improvements in technology. To what extent has this prediction come true.
Sample Response
Given the unprecedented growth of advanced technology, people in today’s society were predicted to enjoy more free time than ever before. This essay will argue that this expectation has only come true to a certain extent because there are still a large number of people who remain busy even in their free time regardless of technological advancements.
On the one hand, it is undeniable that the advent of different machines and devices has paved the way for a lifestyle that allows people to enjoy greater leisure time. As far as home appliances are concerned, household chores no longer deprive people of their free time because these tasks can be performed by a range of modern equipment. Take vacuum cleaner robots as an example. These small portable devices can sweep, vacuum, and mop the entire house automatically with their sensors, meaning that people do not have to worry about spending time polishing their house floors. With the assistance of advanced technology, people can obviously have more time to rest, socialize, and enjoy their pastimes.
However, for those who are from low socioeconomic backgrounds, modern equipment is usually deemed exorbitant, and many of them cannot afford these devices. The result is that little difference is made to their leisure time as they still have to do housework manually. Regarding people with generous incomes, while they can invest in state-of-the-art machines and devices to help with work around the house at ease, they tend to use their spare time to finish remaining work at companies or devote it to another job. It is not uncommon for modern people to juggle multiple jobs or carry work home, which is rooted in the fact that today’s society has an inclination to attach paramount importance to career and wealth. This causes people to use the time, supposed to be freed by technology, in order to work. For these reasons, the notion that people living in the twenty-first century would have more free time might not be true.
In conclusion, I acknowledge why there were predictions that modern people would have more free time than ever before because of improvements in technology. Such expectations, nonetheless, might only be true for some people who truly enjoy their free time, whereas those who sacrifice their leisure time for work might experience few differences in their amount of leisure time compared to the past.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Avoid inflated phrasing Original: Given the unprecedented growth of advanced technology Suggested revision: Given rapid technological progress Why it matters: The revision removes the redundant combination of growth, advanced, and technology.
- 2. Tighten the subject phrase Original: people in today’s society were predicted Suggested revision: people today were predicted Why it matters: The shorter time expression is grammatically complete and less cumbersome.
- 3. Use standard term Original: vacuum cleaner robots Suggested revision: robotic vacuum cleaners Why it matters: Robotic vacuum cleaner is the established English term for this device.
- 4. Clarify the mechanism Original: automatically with their sensors Suggested revision: automatically using sensors Why it matters: Using clearly expresses how the devices perform the actions.
- 5. Choose accurate wording Original: polishing their house floors Suggested revision: cleaning their floors Why it matters: Cleaning covers the sweeping, vacuuming, and mopping described in the preceding clause.
- 6. Fix adjective use Original: modern equipment is usually deemed exorbitant Suggested revision: modern equipment is usually prohibitively expensive Why it matters: Exorbitant normally modifies a price or cost rather than equipment itself.
- 7. Use active phrasing Original: little difference is made to their leisure time Suggested revision: their amount of leisure time changes little Why it matters: The active construction expresses the limited change more naturally.
- 8. Fix income collocation Original: generous Suggested revision: high Why it matters: Incomes are described as high rather than generous.
- 9. Fix awkward collocation Original: help with work around the house at ease Suggested revision: make household work easier Why it matters: At ease does not naturally describe how machines assist with household tasks.
- 10. Clarify workplace meaning Original: finish remaining work at companies Suggested revision: finish outstanding work from their jobs Why it matters: This wording clearly refers to unfinished employment duties rather than work physically located at companies.
- 11. Fix the relative clause Original: time, supposed to be freed by technology, Suggested revision: time that technology is supposed to free Why it matters: The defining clause is clearer without the interrupting commas and ambiguous reduced passive.
- 12. Use uncountable phrasing Original: few differences in their amount of leisure time Suggested revision: little change in their amount of leisure time Why it matters: Change is the natural uncountable measure for the amount of leisure time over periods.
Suggested Rewrites
- Given the unprecedented growth of advanced technology Given rapid technological progress
- people in today’s society were predicted people today were predicted
- vacuum cleaner robots robotic vacuum cleaners
- automatically with their sensors automatically using sensors
- polishing their house floors cleaning their floors
- modern equipment is usually deemed exorbitant modern equipment is usually prohibitively expensive
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response offers a clear qualified position and supports it with a thoughtful contrast between time-saving technology and the economic or cultural pressures that keep people busy. The main weakness is occasional imprecision in phrasing and in the final judgement about how far the prediction has been realised; the priority is to state that extent more decisively and replace awkward collocations with simpler, more natural wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly evaluates the prediction, sustains a qualified position, and develops both enabling and limiting factors in detail.
Express the final extent more precisely, for example by specifying that technology has created potential leisure time without ensuring that most people enjoy it.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument is organised into a clear progression from technological benefits to socioeconomic and workplace limitations, with effective paragraph unity.
Tighten the final sentences of the third paragraph so they lead more directly into the qualified conclusion rather than briefly sounding absolute.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a wide and generally precise vocabulary, although several collocations sound strained or overly elaborate.
Replace phrases such as generous incomes, remaining work at companies, and few differences in their amount of leisure time with more natural equivalents.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex clauses and varied sentence forms are handled with strong control, and errors are rare and non-impeding.
Revise occasional compressed structures, especially the parenthetical phrase time, supposed to be freed by technology, for smoother grammatical flow.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It was predicted that people living in the twenty-first century would have more free time than ever before because of improvements in technology. To what extent has this prediction come true.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.