Some people think that the development of a country depends on the advancement of its technology, while others believe that other factors contribute to the enhancement of a nation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Technology is undoubtedly an important factor in the progress of a country, as it can enhance the productivity, efficiency, and innovation of various sectors such as agriculture, industry, education, and health. Technology can also facilitate communication, transportation, and trade among different regions and countries, thus promoting the integration and cooperation of the global community. For example, the advancement of the internet and mobile devices has enabled people to access information, education, and entertainment from anywhere in the world, as well as to connect and collaborate with others across borders and cultures.
However, technology is not the only factor that influences the development of a country, as other aspects are equally or even more important, such as culture, environment, and politics. Culture is the foundation of a society’s values, beliefs, and traditions, which shape its identity and direction. Culture can also foster the creativity, diversity, and tolerance of a nation, which are essential for its evolution and transformation. For instance, the culture of Japan has been influenced by its history, geography, and religion, which have resulted in its unique and distinctive art, literature, and cuisine.
The environment is another factor that affects the growth of a country, as it provides the natural resources and conditions that support the life and well-being of its people. The environment can also pose challenges and threats to a nation’s security and stability, such as natural disasters, climate change, and pollution. Therefore, a country must protect and preserve its environment, as well as adapt and respond to its changes. For example, the improvement of renewable energy sources such as solar and wind power can reduce the dependence on fossil fuels and lower greenhouse gas emissions that cause global warming.
Politics is a third factor that influences the progress of a country, as it determines the governance and management of its affairs and resources. Politics can also reflect the aspirations and interests of its people, as well as their participation and representation in decision-making processes. Moreover, politics can affect the relations and interactions of a country with other nations, which can have positive or negative impacts on its growth. For example, the transformation of China from a closed communist state to an open market economy has brought about significant economic growth and social change but also raised some political and ethical issues.
In conclusion, I believe that technology is an important but not sufficient factor for the growth of a country, as other factors play a vital role in shaping its progress and prosperity. Therefore, I think that a country should balance its technological advancement with its cultural evolution, environmental improvement, and political transformation in order to achieve holistic and sustainable development.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise collocations Original: enhance the productivity, efficiency, and innovation Suggested revision: improve productivity and efficiency and stimulate innovation Why it matters: The revised verbs collocate naturally with each of the three outcomes.
- 2. Correct the relationship Original: of Suggested revision: within Why it matters: “Within” accurately expresses interaction among members of the global community.
- 3. Use natural terminology Original: advancement Suggested revision: development Why it matters: “Development of the internet” is the more conventional phrase for its technological growth.
- 4. Improve the collocation Original: foster the creativity, diversity, and tolerance of a nation Suggested revision: foster creativity, diversity, and tolerance within a nation Why it matters: The abstract qualities are more naturally described as existing within a nation.
- 5. Use the plural noun Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The plural “lives” agrees with the plural group “people.”
- 6. Clarify the reference Original: its Suggested revision: environmental Why it matters: Naming environmental changes removes the potentially unclear pronoun reference.
- 7. Use the right noun Original: improvement Suggested revision: development Why it matters: Energy sources are developed rather than improved in this context.
- 8. Express causation precisely Original: cause global warming Suggested revision: contribute to global warming Why it matters: “Contribute to” gives a more precise account of the relationship between emissions and warming.
- 9. Avoid overstatement Original: determines Suggested revision: shapes Why it matters: “Shapes” expresses political influence without implying that politics is the sole determinant.
- 10. Use possessive structure Original: relations and interactions of a country with other nations Suggested revision: country’s relations and interactions with other nations Why it matters: The possessive structure is more concise and natural than the extended “of” phrase.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: However, technology is not the only factor that influences the development of a country, as other aspects are equally or even more important, such as culture, environment, and politics. Suggested revision: However, other factors, such as culture, the environment, and politics, can be equally or even more important to a country’s development than technology. Why it matters: The rewrite places the examples beside the noun they modify and makes the comparison easier to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- enhance the productivity, efficiency, and innovation improve productivity and efficiency and stimulate innovation
- of within
- advancement development
- foster the creativity, diversity, and tolerance of a nation foster creativity, diversity, and tolerance within a nation
- life lives
- its environmental
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is impressively broad and well organised, discussing technology alongside cultural, environmental, and political influences while maintaining a clear opinion. Its main limitation is that some examples describe a factor without fully demonstrating how it drives national development, and the repeated paragraph patterns make the argument slightly formulaic. Prioritise deeper causal analysis of fewer examples and vary the way supporting ideas are introduced.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are fully addressed and the writer's balanced position is clear throughout, with relevant ideas extended across several dimensions of development.
Tie each example more explicitly to measurable national progress instead of primarily describing the factor itself.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear paragraph purposes, strong overall sequencing, and well-managed links between claims, explanations, and examples.
Vary the repeated factor-explanation-example pattern to create a more natural and less predictable progression.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, fluent, and generally precise across several abstract topics, with only occasional slightly unnatural word choices.
Choose more idiomatic nouns for processes, such as the expansion or adoption of renewable energy rather than its improvement.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are varied and consistently controlled, with only rare awkward references or densely layered clauses.
Polish pronoun reference and shorten the occasional heavily coordinated sentence to maximise clarity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that the development of a country depends on the advancement of its technology, while others believe that other factors contribute to the enhancement of a nation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.