Some people believe the range of technology available to individuals today is increasing the gap between poor people and rich people. Others think it is having an opposite effect. Discuss both of these points of view. What is your opinion on that issue?
Sample Response
Today, modernization has revolutionised people's lifestyleshumans’ lifestyles fundamentally. Industrialisation has made our world a better place to livebetter place for living, although some individuals believe that this has been more useful to more affluent citizens. From my perspective, these advancements have led everyoneall humans to live better, even disadvantaged peoplethe deprived ones.
On the one hand, those who believe that throughby the development of technology, the rich have gained more benefitsbeneficiaries have their own reasons. One is that luxurious lifestylesluxury lifestyle has become more popular globally. The more luxury goods are produced by different companies, the more well-to-do citizens have more choices to purchase more variety of magnificent items. For instance, in 2015, Apple, a well-known electronic corporation in the USA, produced a new versionhas produced a new version of Apple cell phone the size of a watchas size as a watch priced atwith the price of over $20000. Therefore, this watch will be affordable to those having substantial savingstremendous saving. In addition, in trading, richer countries have better accessricher countries have a better access to the latest technology of e-commerce, while the poor ones, higher expenditure avoids them to compete with the former and the globalisation has increased the gap between the developed and underdeveloped nations.
On the other hand, I personally agree with those believing that modernization has had more positive effectsinfluences on both rich and poor people. One important impact is that all nations have better accessall nations have a better access to more highly developed health system. For example, even in remote areas of Africa, MRI is used for diagnosing diseasesdiagnosing of diseases, and its technology can be compared to the one which is being used in the USA. In addition, travelling facilities have been altered dramatically. Had not aviation technology been developed so fast, fewer ordinary peopleless general people would have used low-cost airlines. In the past, only the rich could afford an airline ticketpay the ticket of an airplane, but now even a simple worker and his family can afford the fee of a flight annually.
In conclusion, some may believe that the more the technology develops, the more wealthy citizens have better living conditions. However, I personally agree that this can influence the level of accessing to medical services and travelling facilities, and the poor’s lifestyles have been and will be improved far significantly.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its clear opinion and easily recognisable two-sided structure, with relevant discussion of luxury goods, healthcare, and travel. Its main limitation is that frequent awkward wording and grammatical errors weaken precision, while some examples only loosely demonstrate changes in inequality; the highest-priority improvement is to build one explicit causal link between each example and the rich-poor gap, then edit each sentence for natural phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are discussed and a clear opinion is maintained, although some supporting examples do not fully establish their claimed effect on inequality.
Explain explicitly how each example widens or narrows the rich-poor gap instead of relying on the example to imply the connection.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a logical four-paragraph progression, though some long sentences contain loosely connected ideas.
Divide overloaded sentences and make each supporting point lead clearly from claim to explanation to consequence.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate range and several less common terms, but frequent collocational errors make expression unnatural and occasionally imprecise.
Replace inaccurate combinations such as references to beneficiaries, savings, and travel fees with simpler, idiomatic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied complex structures, but errors in articles, agreement, tense, comparison, and clause construction recur throughout.
Prioritise accurate sentence boundaries and core clause patterns before adding complex comparative or conditional structures.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe the range of technology available to individuals today is increasing the gap between poor people and rich people. Others think it is having an opposite effect. Discuss both of these points of view. What is your opinion on that issue?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.