It is inevitable that as technology develops so traditional cultures must be lost. Technology and tradition are incompatible - you cannot have both together. To what extent do you agree with this view?
Sample Response
Technology, the buzzword of today, has improved the quality of life worldwideworld over. It is true that technology is one of the causes ofreasons behind the rapid erosionabrupt destruction of our traditional culture. In my viewIn my point of view, technology and our tradition go well together.
Firstly, traditional games from the bygone days have been abandonedevaded by young peoplethe juvenile and by adultsthe grown-up. They are more attracted tomuch attracted towards video games rather than ancient games. According to them, these are old-fashioned games. One solution to this problemAn axiom for this issue is to incorporateinclude traditional games into the video games so that the younger generationyounger generation will get exposure to themit.
In addition, traditional musical instruments such as banjos are being replaced by innovationsnew innovations such as guitars, pianos and so on. Apart from this, the numbernumbers of traditional performances organised have also been reduced due to the introduction of televisioninvention of idiot box which always broadcast a variety of TV shows and serials, making less importance to the traditional performance.
In this era of globalisation, people prefer to live in modern apartments. So the use of traditional housesSo usages of traditional houses have become comparatively less. Unlike traditional houses, flats offering much secure environment. Moreover, apartment helps to reduce vicissitudes of our life. To have an ancient touch, one can include traditional concepts and furniture while building the apartments.
In conclusion, the strong current of technological advancement has indeed eroded some traditions; nevertheless, both of them are not mutually incompatible. We can preserve our traditions which reflect our origins and roots but at the same time manage to develop our country with full utilisation of technology as it could be used to reinstate traditions.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response states a clear disagreement and explores several relevant cultural areas, including games, performances, and housing, while suggesting ways tradition could coexist with modern life. However, several examples are weakly reasoned or historically questionable, and frequent inaccurate vocabulary and grammar make the argument less convincing. The priority is to develop one or two credible examples in depth and express their cause-and-effect relationships in simpler, more accurate language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay answers the question with a consistent position and relevant main ideas, but explanations are uneven and claims such as guitars and pianos being new innovations are not convincing.
Select fewer, more credible examples and explain specifically how technology can preserve each tradition rather than merely placing traditional elements in a modern setting.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has clear paragraphing and a broadly logical sequence, although transitions are mechanical and some supporting sentences do not build a precise line of reasoning.
Organise each body paragraph around one claim followed by a clear cause, example, and explanation of how it supports compatibility.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary to discuss the topic, including some less common items, but frequent misselection in phrases such as "evaded by the juvenile," "an axiom," and "reduce vicissitudes" impairs precision.
Use familiar words accurately and check that less common vocabulary matches the intended meaning and natural collocation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied sentence forms and remains generally understandable, but recurring article, number, agreement, and fragment errors show inconsistent control.
Correct subject-verb agreement and complete every clause, for example by revising "flats offering" to "flats offer" and checking singular and plural nouns throughout.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is inevitable that as technology develops so traditional cultures must be lost. Technology and tradition are incompatible - you cannot have both together. To what extent do you agree with this view?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.