Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
In this contemporary era, the means of communication have updated dramatically with the evolution of cutting-edge technologies. In my perspective, I foster that it is a constructive movement, and this treatise will elucidate my stance in the forthcoming paragraphs with credible illustrations.
To start with, the recent improvements in various aspects of technology have revolutionized the entire world such that the public claim that it makes them establish their communication among their peers in a feasible manner. There are many applications which can be downloaded and installed on our electronic gadgets, such as Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp, which enable people to exchange messages, photos and videos. The latest breakthrough, instant calling and face-time features for long periods of time with minimal charges incurred, have made humans have a face-to-face interaction virtually. Many organizations are working tirelessly to achieve these updates frequently and are intuitive. For instance, old people who reside in the suburbs are overwhelmed with amusement since they are frequently having a chat with their children who live either in metro cities or in foreign lands. Thus it creates a remarkable bonding among families who are far away from one another in distant locations.
In a similar fashion, there are multiple websites on the internet which attract the youngsters in modern society. They are fascinated by browsing these sites to find new individuals in nearby areas and are meeting up for casual dates to understand each other. Additionally, some are using these to search for pristine friends and are gradually chatting almost every day. This eventually encourages them to identify partners or peers who have similar interests. By sharing their emotions, they feel relaxed and rejuvenated rather than having trepidation or stress. Hence, it plays a significant role in commencing new bonds for the youth.
Taking everything into consideration, the latest innovations in technology have drastically impacted the entire human population to have noteworthy coordination with parents and grandparents and explore new friends. This essay has exposed a plethora of merits and the advantageous impact of technology on the public worldwide.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use correct verb Original: updated Suggested revision: changed Why it matters: Communication methods change; they do not update themselves in this context.
- 2. Fix preposition Original: In Suggested revision: From Why it matters: The fixed expression is from my perspective.
- 3. Use accurate reporting verb Original: foster Suggested revision: believe Why it matters: Foster cannot introduce an opinion with a that-clause in this way.
- 4. Match task wording Original: constructive movement Suggested revision: positive development Why it matters: Positive development states the evaluation naturally and precisely.
- 5. Use respectful term Original: old Suggested revision: older Why it matters: Older people is the more neutral and appropriate expression.
- 6. Use natural emotion Original: overwhelmed with amusement Suggested revision: delighted Why it matters: Overwhelmed with amusement does not naturally describe happiness about regular family contact.
- 7. Fix tense and link Original: since they are frequently having a chat Suggested revision: because they can chat frequently Why it matters: The simple construction clearly expresses the recurring opportunity that causes their happiness.
- 8. Use standard term Original: metro Suggested revision: major Why it matters: Major cities is a widely understood standard expression in this context.
- 9. Clarify reference Original: Thus it creates Suggested revision: This creates Why it matters: This directly refers to the frequent family contact described in the previous sentence.
- 10. Use correct noun Original: a remarkable bonding Suggested revision: a strong bond Why it matters: Bond is the countable noun needed for a close family connection.
- 11. Keep verbs parallel Original: and are meeting up Suggested revision: and meet up Why it matters: The simple present should remain parallel with find in the coordinated structure.
- 12. Correct word choice Original: pristine Suggested revision: new Why it matters: Pristine describes an untouched condition and cannot naturally describe newly made friends.
Suggested Rewrites
- updated changed
- In From
- foster believe
- constructive movement positive development
- old older
- overwhelmed with amusement delighted
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its clear positive position and relevant explanation of how technology sustains family ties and creates new social or romantic connections. Its main limitation is frequent unnatural wording and strained sentence construction, which sometimes obscures otherwise sensible ideas. The highest-priority improvement is to use simpler, idiomatic language and revise each long sentence so that its subject, verb, and intended relationship are immediately clear.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers both questions with a clear positive judgement and develops two relevant types of technology-enabled relationship.
Add a more measured evaluation of possible limitations or explain more explicitly why the cited changes constitute a positive development overall.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a clear progression from family relationships to new friendships and dating, with appropriate paragraphing and generally effective linking.
Reduce formulaic transitions and ensure every supporting sentence advances the paragraph's central relationship type rather than drifting into general technology commentary.
Lexical Resource
The writer attempts a wide range of vocabulary, but frequent miscollocations and unsuitable choices such as 'pristine friends' and 'commencing new bonds' reduce precision.
Replace inflated or memorised expressions with natural combinations such as 'make new friends', 'maintain close bonds', and 'communicate easily'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is used, but recurring agreement, reference, and sentence-construction errors make several clauses awkward.
Build shorter complex sentences with one clear main clause, then check agreement and pronoun reference before adding subordinate details.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.